$200,000 Oscars Gift Bag Includes Year’s Supply of Audi Rentals and an Armpit Mop

Winners and losers of the awards will also receive personalized M&M’s worth $300 and a trip to Israel worth $55,000

This year’s Oscars gift bag, valued at $200,000, will include a $55,000 trip to Israel, a one-year supply of Audi A4 Rentals worth $45,000 and a box of underarm patches to reduce sweat marks on the red carpet.

Created by Distinctive Assets, the gift bag also includes personalized M&M’s retailing at $300, diet gummy bears to give stars and starlets a tasty weight loss option, and three personal training sessions with fitness expert Jay Cardiello worth in excess of $1,400.

While the swag isn’t officially endorsed by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, trophy-less nominees have been scoring the Distinctive Assets gift haul for years.

To be part of the film industry’s biggest night on any level is thrilling,” said the company’s founder Lash Fray. “We always look forward to introducing standout entertainers to an array of companies with fabulous gifts to share … but as this is considered the ultimate consolation price for the non-winning nominees, it’s particularly fun to be able to do when you know it will truly brighten someone’s day.”

Additional items include a $31,000 lifetime supply of Pu-erh Tea Nourishing Cream and a full buyout of any Walk Japan tour for two people, priced at $54,000.

Of course, nominees accepting the gift bags must pay federal income tax on all items contained therein. As stated on the IRS website, “the person has received taxable income equal to the fair market value of the bag and its contents and must report that amount on his or her federal income tax return. These gift bags are not gifts for federal income tax purposes because the organizations and merchants who participate in giving the gifts bags do not do so solely out of affection, respect or similar impulses for the recipients of the gift bags.”

Basically, there’s nothing free in this world and the manufacturers and proprietors of these products and services get fair return for their generosity in the form of publicity. Like, say, a post about them on an entertainment website during a particularly slow news Friday.

Here is the full list of items:

Haze Dual V3 Vaporizer ($249.99)
My M&M’s ($300)
Halo, Purely for Pets ($6,300)
Explore Israel ($55,000)
SilverCar ($45,000)
Lizora ($31,200)
Tribute ($125)
Caolion ($134)
Healing Saint by Dr. Jane 360 ($193)
Walk Japan ($54,000)
Alexi Seletzky, Celebrity Trainer ($900)
Belldini ($300 +)
Chocolatines ($35)
Dandi Patch ($21)
Delovery ($2,000)
Farm Wife Style ($25)
Fit Club TV “Ultimate Fitness Package” ($6,250)
Gleener on the Go ($11.99)
Golden Door ($4,800)
Grand Hotel Excelsior Vittoria ($5,000)
Grand Hotel Tremezzo ($5,000)
Greenhill Winery & Vineyards ($39)
Hydroxycut Gummies ($19.88)
Jay Cardiello  ($1,400)
Joseph’s Toiletries ($275)
Lat & Lo ($150)
Memobottle ($47)
Mezcal El Silencio ($75)
Mission1 Clean Protein Bar ($5.64/box)
Nuelle Fiera Arouser For Her ($250)
Phantom Glass ($49.95-$59.95)
Purely Inspired Organic Protein ($19.97)
Rougle Maple ($99)
Sedona Lace ($109.95)
Signature Vodka ($70)
Slimware ($29.95)
Steamist ($5,060)
Sundial Power Coating ($500)
Tools by Gina ($250)
Vampire Breast Lift ($1,900)
Zekkle Edge ($125)
740 Park MD ($5,530)