Exclusive! “I’m creating a utopia based on everything that isn’t bullshit”
The one and only Roseanne Barr is returning to television this summer with a new reality show on Lifetime about her macadamia farm in Hawaii. She also has a new book out called “Roseannearchy –Dispatches From the Nutfarm.” Roseanne on the farm? Its on the grill.
A reality show about a macadamia farm … why?
I’m a farmer; it came from that. I thought it would be pretty timely to show organic farming and all the things about that.
How did that come about?
I’ve always owned a farm somewhere. I used to own one in Iowa. I like the outdoors, being in the dirt. I also grow bees. I raise bees.
You put on beekeeper suit?
I do. I also cut down trees with a chainsaw. I chase away and shoot at pigs.
Where’s the humor in that?
There’s a lot of humor. It’s going to have a lot of same elements that my other reality show tried to have but failed in. This one’s going to be about trying to stay calm when all around you is chaos.
Why is there a chaos on a macadamia farm?
I’m creating a utopia based on everything that isn’t bulls—.
A community where I am queen.
Who are the subjects?
The entire island of Hawaii and all of America, as well as the world. I think I should be queen of the entire mess. I can solve problems. It’s just me redesigning the world to my own liking, and starting with my own farm.
It’s a show about green and farming and organic and fighting for what you believe in. Kind of a last stand for the American people and farmers against a big government that's just poisoning us.
Who else is on the show?
My family, my neighbors. I’m going to ask celebrities to come out and give farming a try. The first person I’d really want to get on is Keith Richards. Ronnie Spector. Diana Ross. People I’ve sung with in my bedroom. I wanna sing with them for real.
Didn’t we see this same show with Paris Hilton?
I’m far sexier, maybe not as intelligent as Paris Hilton.
People do scratch their heads. But I like that. Americans are just so under the mind control of complete bulls—. I like shaking that up. Is it a good idea that they’re letting the Monsanto company plant sugar beets to destroy actual sugar beets? Yes, the Senate has passed that bill. And Hawaii is ground zero for genetically mutated foods and bacteria that they don’t allow in Europe. It’s really disgusting that the media never even mentions it. Look up in the sky what they’re spraying on you. What are they doing to food?
America is the breadbasket of the world. Now they’re making it illegal to grow real food. They want to force us to eat plastic. This is not funny.
The farm is organic?
Yeah. And I’ve cut down 3,000 predator trees. The mac nut is a fantastic protein. If we started getting our protein from nuts instead of meat, we’d be healthier.
At this point are you right wing or left wing?
I am no wing. I am an American. I believe in people-ism. Solutions that work for everybody. I think we should stop dividing ourselves and get food to the hungry and decent food to people all over the world. Clean water. Decent fuel that doesn’t poison us. We’re so smart. We can regenerate limbs with stem cells. We can grow safe and good food and get along.
Oh … and I will be wearing bathing suits, just for people who would love to see a large older woman in a bikini. I’ll be there to satisfy that desire.
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