‘Runway’ Still Makes It Work … But Lindsay Lohan?!

Watch out, Fox! If last night’s three and a half hour block of “Runway”-centric television is any indication, it seems that Lifetime is making a play for the “Most Minutes of Superfluous Programming That We Know You’ll Watch Anyway” Award. (I think it’s one of those “Creative Arts” Emmys.) Yes, I watched it all, from […]

Watch out, Fox! If last night’s three and a half hour block of “Runway”-centric television is any indication, it seems that Lifetime is making a play for the “Most Minutes of Superfluous Programming That We Know You’ll Watch Anyway” Award. (I think it’s one of those “Creative Arts” Emmys.)

Yes, I watched it all, from “Project Runway All-Star Challenge” to the tepid “Models of the Runway.” I had to … it’s been a full 10 months since we’ve heard Tim utter, “Make it work!” While the former was worth watching sheerly for the big personalities of seasons past, I was appalled when Daniel Vosovic won the competition over Korto Momolu. His fashion bombed for me — and not just because one of his models looked like she had explosives tied to her chest!

As for “Models of the Runway” …  well, haven’t you ever wanted to know what goes on with the models? You know, “behind the seams"?

 

No?  

Didn’t think so.  

With a new cycle of “ANTM” premiering in September, I think we can all agree that there is only room for one modeling show on our DVRs.  This ain’t it so don’t waste your time.

As for the main event, not much has changed except the location and the network. Even though a quarter of the contestants are from New York City, this season was filmed in Los Angeles. Everything else was the same … sort of.

 

First of all, home base is FIDM (Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising). I know what you’re thinking and yes, that is indeed the place where Lauren Conrad blossomed into the talented and innovative designer we know today.

Despite the fact that L.A.’s huge Fashion District is just down the street from FIDM, contestants are still shopping for their materials at the tiny L.A. branch of Mood Fabrics. I get it. It’s a cross-promotional/time constraint thing. But let me just say that as someone who had to buy fabric for her custom-made “Enchanted” costume last year, the selection in the Fashion District far surpassed that of this tiny Mood location. Plus, I would argue that haggling over reams of lilac-colored organza builds character.

As if to drive home the point that we aren’t in New York anymore, last night’s celebrity judge was none other than Lindsay Lohan. Sure, she’s from Long Island. But going out in public with no panties? That’s soooo L.A.!

Compared with former guests and class acts Sarah Jessica Parker and Natalie Portman, Lindsanity’s appearance was laughable. Furthermore, when Heidi announced her as an “actress/singer/fashion designer,” I almost peed my pants!  She designs leggings. How hard can that be? You just cut the feet out of pantyhose!

I was beyond disappointed to see Ari, a sort of technicolor Joan Cusack on crack, eliminated for what Michael Kors called her “disco soccer ball” dress. When Nina Garcia condescendingly asked which red carpet her model was going to, the designer blithely replied, “The VMAs 2080. I want her to also go and receive her Nobel Peace Prize on the same night.” Uh, OK.

Thankfully we have some other loons to keep us entertained, including recovering meth addict Johnny, a tortured but genius artist. If you tuned in late to the program, you might’ve thought that Tim was appearing in a “very special episode” of “Intervention.”

I’m also hoping to see more antics from Mitchell, the designer who sent his model down the runway in a sheet of sheer nude-colored chiffon then later insinuated that is was her fault because her measurements were “incorrect” (too fat).

With a fashion pedigree whose highlight was working at the Gap in college, I don’t exactly consider myself a trendsetter. But that’s not what “Project Runway” is about for me; nor for you, I daresay. I love this show for the same reason that I should love “Top Chef” — creativity. Who could forget Austin Scarlett’s cornhusk couture? That was a dress that any scarecrow would be proud to wear.

Though last night’s “red carpet” challenge was a little pedestrian, you know that it’s only a matter of time before we are awed by what these designers can create under pressure. When artists are given an unusual task and a time constraint, inspiration can come from the most mundane places.  

And when it doesn’t … well, you just “carry on.”