Ashton Kutcher confirmed TV's biggest open secret: Charlie Sheen's character will indeed die on "Two and a Half Men."
Talking to David Letterman on Wednesday's "The Late Show," Kutcher held up well under relentless questioning about how his character, heartbroken Internet entrepeneur Walden Schmidt, will join the series. Their shared network, CBS, has kept details close to the vest.
But Kutcher did concede that Sheen dies — without saying how.
"How do you come in?" Letterman asked. "Because this is like jumping off of a truck running."
"No, that was Charlie's character," Kutcher joked. "No, no, I — Charlie's character is no longer with us."
Story continues after video from the start of the interview:
An entertaining back and forth ensued:
Letterman: "How does he die? We know he dies."
Kutcher: "I can't reveal how he dies. No, I was explicitly told…"
Letterman: "How does he die, seriously. Heart attack?"
Kutcher: "He dies because he is no longer living."
Letterman: "Is it a medical problem or is it like a robbery gone bad?"
Kutcher: "It's a death scenario."
Letterman: "Forgets to turn the gas off?"
Kutcher: "It's — abroad. That's a double entendre. That's a double entendre."
Letterman: "You're referrring to a woman?"
Kutcher: "I don't know. … We've both got really good jobs. I want to keep mine."
Then Letterman accused Kutcher of killing Sheen's character, Charlie Harper. And Kutcher suggested that he may have been the one who issued an Internet call for Letterman's death last week.
He added: "I show up when Jon Cryer's character needs me the most."
We've heard before that Harper dies abroad in a woman-related accident. A report earlier this month had him dying in a "meat explosion" after he slips — or is pushed by his angry wife — in front of a Paris train.
Cryer said at the time he couldn't confirm Sheen's character would die — but said Harper's farewell wouldn't be too gruesome.