Before we begin, I must share with you this tidbit from an interview with rejected foot fetishist, Tanner P.:
“I was just blessed. All the guys knew it because we had outdoor showers, and so they all called me King Dong. I did tricks with my wiener at one point. Some guys would shower with their swimsuits on, and I wasn't about to do that. I just had fun with it. People would be outside barbequing and cooking a steak. I'd be out there with my sausage ding-a-ling hanging out. It was all in good fun.”
Whoa. Never before has the TMI acronym been more appropriate.
Tonight we begin in Philly, where Reid is waiting for Jillian. They touch noses, and their kisses come off as awkward. Reid’s parents have a very nice house and appear to be well off. Reid’s mom Rhonda pulls Jillian aside and gives her the Robert DeNiro "Meet the Parents" treatment. Rhonda finds Jillian adorable. Like a puppy, adorable? Hmmm ...
The brothers take time with her, and Jillian passes the test. Papa Larry gives Reid some good fatherly advice: “Neither a borrower nor a lender be ...” Not really, I just made that up. I’ve decided that Reid reminds me of Matthew Perry. Decent family visit, but I don’t think they have great chemistry, despite Jillian’s claims that she fell hard for Reid. But remember this is the girl that cried incessantly after Ed left.
Michael is up next, in Valencia, California. Oh no, Michael has a twin. Lord help us. Strangely, his father looks like Bernie Madoff. Mike and his twin decide to pull the switcheroo on Jillian. Gee, that’s a new one. They don’t fool her. Fail. Bernie Madoff (150 years is not enough), I mean, Mike’s dad, is warning him about not getting his heart broken.
Mike’s brother Steve corners Jillian and they have a good heart-to-heart that makes Jillian second-guess her reservations about Mike’s age. His sister Jenna even interrupts dinner, arriving from Australia. Jillian fits in well with the family, though I find there is something odd about mother Lynn. Mike is sad to see her go, and thinks she’s the one for him.
Next up: Kiptyn in San Diego (our home away from home). Kip tells her that he has two stepdads. Jillian says that he’s the guy he’s always dreamed of. Kip’s parents’ house is sweet! One of the first words out of Kip’s stepdad’s mouth is “indoctrination”. Is he pretentious or what …
Uh oh. Mom puts Jillian to a Gordon Ramsay-inspired food test.
She passes. Mom and stepdad are impressed. They seem a bit too hoity-toity for me, and I think Jillian is concerned as well. Oh yeah, Kip’s sister is hot. Anyway, Mom Eve corners Jill, and I don’t like her line of questioning, being “intense and intimidating.” Mom then asks “How do you deal with an overbearing mother in law?” At the end, she kind of warms up a bit.
