Dear Roger Rabbit: Screw You, Bunny

Temp X
c/o The Hollywood Temp Diaries
123 Fake St.
Hollywood Adjacent, CA 90046

Mr. Roger Rabbit
c/o Amblin Entertainment
100 Universal Plaza
Universal City, CA 91608

July 28, 2009

Dear Roger:

I hate you.

I know it's been more than 20 years since your movie "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" debuted, but I still hate you. It's not anything in particular from the film. It was passably entertaining and offered 104 minutes of air-conditioned comfort (although your voice was worse than nails on a chalk board mixed with a Fran Drescher laugh).

I can accept that. What I cannot accept is the live action/animation hybrid film genre you spawned. You fired the Starter's Pistol that began the race to ruin my childhood memories.

Screw you, Bunny!

Sure some people will say Gene Kelly did this with Jerry Mouse in 1945. Others will say it was "Pete's Dragon" that set these wheels in motion in 1977.

I disagree. One need only look at the quantity of these films that have emerged since 1988. Wikipedia counts no fewer than 32 in the last 20 years (Note: Given Wikipedia's 13 percent error rate, the number is probably closer to 40.) In the 80 years prior, there were only 27 total.

Allow me to mention some of the memory wreckers you need to answer for: "Scooby Doo," "Alvin and the Chipmunks," "The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle," "Looney Toons: Back in Action," "Inspector Gadget" and "Garfield."

Mr. Rabbit, I was raised by these cartoons. I considered Daffy Duck, Rocket J. Squirrel and Norville "Shaggy" Rogers the brothers/best friends I never had. Now those memories are lost in a haze of Billy West voiceovers and substandard pop-culture references.

Shame on you. I only wish Pixar's success had brought an end to this era, but with "Smurfs" and "Hong Kong Phooey" on the way, I fear it's only the beginning.

Roger, the more I write this letter, the angrier I get. I know it's not entirely your fault, but I'm warning you, if Opus and Bill the Cat end up on the big screen, I'll be having Hossenfeffer for dinner.

Sincerely,
Temp X