I had a brainstorm.
I’m going to send my parents -- he’s 81, she’s 79 -- around the world with $500 and backpacks. They’ll need to find hostels to sleep in, panhandle for food. Maybe fend off pirates. I haven’t quite figured out how they’ll get their prescriptions filled. But my folks are adorable, smart and especially clever on their feet in tough situations, so they’ll probably do just fine.
And before they go, I’ll sell the rights for a reality show -- as long as I get a prominent role in it as well.
I realized pretty quickly that Abby Sunderland was Balloon Boy H2O. In hindsight, you did, too.
But thanks to the Sunderlands, I’ve come up with a way to boost our governments’ coffers while letting famous wannabes fulfill their narcissistic cravings at any cost.
My “Aha” moment came soon after the first reports that Abby was lost. The media had video of her brother Zac’s experiences; he’d completed the same trip in 2008 and briefly held the title his sister was chasing. (That's Abby and Zac at left.)
One clip caught my attention. Looking like a bad outtake from “Paranormal Activity,” Zac moves in tight to the camera and mugs his way through an anecdote about a dangerous moment he’d survived with eye rolls, hair tosses, lip biting, grimaces and heavy sighs.
Oh, that’s it: He’s playing reality show participant.
Sure enough, media coverage from Zac’s return confirms that a show was one piece of a grand marketing plan being pursued by his parents, along with heavy-hitter corporate endorsements and a Zac-the-adventurer personality franchise. But all apparently went the way of Abby’s boat. Zac’s website currently boasts a self-produced DVD, a few discounted tchotchkes and press clips recalling past glory.
Makes you wonder about the real motivations and goals behind Plan B.
When Abby was lost, a PR strategy was ready to roll. It started with Zac as the sole family member granting interviews. Were their parents locked away, heartbroken? Or did someone with a creative POV explain that Zac provided the best natural narrative link whatever Abby’s outcome?
The elder Sunderlands then emerged post-rescue with a few carefully rehearsed media appearances. Not perfectly rehearsed, however. Especially when they announced that they were “broke” and wouldn’t reimburse the Australian government any of the $300,000 it had spent in rescue costs (about which Australian citizens are furious), but cavalierly suggested the U.S. government just write the Aussies a check.
Then, as we’ve come to expect, everything starts imploding.
The New York Post breaks the story that Sunderland senior had cut a development deal for multiple reality shows about his family back when Abby departed, and filming had been under way in L.A. for months. Hours later, the parents announce the deal’s canceled and they won’t permit any show to be produced in the future. Never ever.
Eh, then again, maybe not so fast.
Over the course of 24 hours through various media outlets, the Sunderlands keep changing their story.
