So the girlfriend and I went to the movies the other night, and I could have sworn we sat for a sextuple feature. This was because five trailers preceded the main attraction.

At least, I think they were trailers. It’s was a little tough to tell given how they showed what appeared to be pretty much the entire movie on fast-forward.

I think you know what I’m talking about. There’s no such thing anymore as a mere tease. Every trailer now comes with its own spoilers minus any alerts.

Vampires leave me cold. I guess that’s sort of supposed to be the idea, right? I mean, they’re dead, or undead, or deading.

But cold as they may be to the touch, you may have noticed that vampires have never been hotter. And I don’t get it. “Twilight.” “True Blood.” “The Vampire Diaries.” Enough already! Fangs, but no fangs.