I’m No. 1.

According to the ratings, I beat CNN, MSNBC and Fox News in primetime. CBS, Lifetime and ESPN Deportes too. My box office sales topped "Harry Potter."

“Flackback” is TheWrap’s most popular blog. And even better, my TVQ score shows I’m personally more beloved across America than Tom Hanks, Sully and those Evian roller babies. Combined.

How can I make those claims?

Because I know how to twist data to make me look like the winner.

There’s a hilarious urban myth that has never really been denied: that the renaming of the great historical drama “The Madness of George III” to “The Madness of King George” for the U.S. market was because they feared Americans wouldn’t go see a sequel.

The old adage about never underestimating the intelligence of the American audience rarely rings false. The fact that Larry King is still covering Michael Jackson nightly is proof enough.

But “Bruno” might be a case of estimating too low.

I had a brush with Michael Jackson once, post-Bubbles but pre-pedophilia charges.

An open letter to David Zaslav, President and CEO, Discovery Communications:

Dear Mr. Zaslav:

Time’s up.

We’ve all had our laughs by now.

Made the snarky comments and stupid puns.

Now it’s time for you to act like a grown-up, in the absence of other grown-ups.

If I were casting a soap opera full of conflict, corporate politics, raging ego, blatant personal agendas and a fresh-faced innocent, I’d look no further than David Letterman, Sarah Palin, John Ziegler and Willow Palin.

Or do I mean Bristol?

But what should’ve been a minor-league, easily extinguished PR problem has escalated into a pretty nasty piece of business. With more arms and legs than the Gosselins.

I sat across from a friendly HR Guy at Company XYZ, contemplating how to ask what class of hotels and grade of air travel I’d be allowed to book without sounding like an expense account whore.

I was up for an executive position with an American media company that’s gotten lots of attention for its global expansion. While the job was U.S.-based, it required international travel.

Lots of it. Up to 50 percent annually and mostly on my own, supporting two dozen foreign offices.

This week, we’re mourning one person who bucked the PR handbook, curious about another who might’ve put a crack in his carefully-shaped image and scratching our heads over a third who may or may not have committed suicide.

Not necessarily who you think.

And so it’s ended.

Last Friday, Jay Leno made his last joke, welcomed his successor and signed off from latenight television.

And so it begins.

Come September, Leno hosts the first broadcast network primetime show in recent memory to air every weeknight at 10 -- “stripped” scheduling in TV-speak. NBC’s hinted about what the show will be and given the requisite contradictory spin on projected ratings: huge potential, modest expectations.

The quote that “There is no such thing as bad publicity” didn’t come from Groucho. Or David Geffen. It was Irish playwright Brendan Behan, who actually said, “There is no such thing as bad publicity, except your own obituary.”

But then there’s “Jon & Kate Plus 8.”

The TLC series is starting its fifth season with a PR mess that only the most naïve will consider beneficial. And it’s putting the first nails in the coffin of a peculiar reality TV genre: the feel-good supersized family show.

I’m baffled by all the surprise over Donald Trump’s announcement that Silicon Barbie -- I mean Carrie Prejean -- will keep her Miss California USA crown.

Trump is all about the publicity. And this was a flat-out move to score some for an anachronism.

His decision gave the wheezy Miss USA pageant a perky set of PR implants. Just when the story would’ve wound down, Trump added several news cycles of visibility. Plus, he gave needed attention for the subsequent Miss Universe pageant, airing during the dead TV month of August.