It's Time to Save Arts Education in L.A.

January, 21, 2010 12:17 pm | On #arts education

So you may not have known this -- in fact, I'm pretty sure you didn't/don't -- but arts education is poised to disappear from the public elementary and middle schools in Los Angeles. That's right, gone. Disappear. Vamoosh. Gone.

 
Yes, unbelievably, the LAUSD is in danger of becoming the first major metropolitan school district in the country to eliminate the arts. That would mean no dance, no theater, no music, no painting, no school plays, nothing that breaks up a day of academics and inspires a kid's inner and outer child to come out and play.
 
And why is this happening? The budget crunch.
Duh!
The district has to purge hundreds of millions of dollars to make ends meet, and thus the arts is on the chopping block. What the hell, right? It ain't math or science or history or social studies or English...
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NBC Hasn't Done Anything Right for Leno Since 2004

January, 14, 2010 12:57 pm | On #Conan O'Brien, jay leno, Jeff Zucker, late night, NBC, Ray Richmond

It's at times like this that I wish I still had a job covering television on a regular basis for a newspaper, or really for anyone.

This NBC late-night implosion is nearly as hot and juicy and fun as it was predictable. Yes, predictable, boys and girls. I predicted this "Tonight Show" transition thing wasn't going to fly repeatedly over the past several years. You can look it up. 

But not even I could have foreseen just how massively self-destructive, incompetent and lily-livered NBC was going to prove to be.

Amazingly, Jeff "Mother" Zucker and his minions have done absolutely not a single thing right in this whole mess, going back to 2004 when they basically transformed a guy who was handily winning the late-night wars (that would...

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Compare and Contrast: 'Avatar' vs. 'Ishtar'

January, 11, 2010 6:12 pm | On #Avatar, box office, Ishtar, Ray Richmond

One was considered among the biggest flops in motion picture history. The other may well become the top-grossing feature film of all time before it's through.

In so doing, "Avatar" is well on its way to at last snuffing out the nightmarish memory of "Ishtar" to reclaim the glory of "'tar" films from the scrap heap of moviedom following a 22-year siege on their good name.

"Ishtar" director Elaine May clearly owes a debt of gratitude to "Avatar" maestro James Cameron for so generously removing the taint of flop from her resume. So do "Ishtar" stars Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman, who have spent a large portion of the past two decades struggling to emerge from the dark shadow of a flick whose very name grew to...

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How Tiger Will Redeem Himself: The Playbook

December, 14, 2009 3:05 pm | On #tiger woods

 I have seen the future -- and I've seen it all before -- and so I know how this here Tiger Woods saga is going to unfold from here. Trust me, so do you. There's really no other way it can go.

All he has to do is follow the standard script.

But first, a few casual observations:

1. Tiger is going to come through this almost entirely unscathed. Really. Sure, he used to be seen as a Boy Scout. But others have done far worse than serial consensual philandering and been forgiven wholeheartedly.
 
Start with Kobe Bryant, charged with sexual assault but no longer tarnished by that particular alleged sin even moderately. Michael Vick was convicted of torturing dogs for sport, and no one's even raising a whimper today as he restores his shattered reputation with the Philadelphia Eagles.
 
Does anyone raise a...
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10 Reasons Santa Was Made for Hollywood

December, 03, 2009 1:00 pm | On #Christmas, Santa Claus

 

1. He produces none of the actual product but takes all of the credit.
 
2. He uses cheaper labor in a foreign land up north despite tailoring his schtick to American audiences, yet another glaring example of runaway production.
 
3. Like so many male stars, he has a beard.
 
4. He expects free plates of cookies (i.e. craft services) at every stop along the way.
 
5. Uses an alternative energy source for his transportation and encourages green in his customers. (In this instance, Santa was a man well before his time.)
 
6. His perpetually cheery disposition suggests the use of anti-depressants, or the fact that he may be bipolar (both North and South).
 
7. He often promises far more than he can...
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Re-Name That Film!

September, 30, 2009 1:53 pm | On #Disney, DreamWorks, Love Happens, MGM, movie titles, new line, Paramount, SONY, The Soloist, universal

 

With dopey titles like the hopelessly vanilla “Love Happens” somehow making their way to the multiplex these days, we’re left to wonder why it is that a hundred million-dollar movie is left to do box office battle armed with a scant 10-cent handle.
 
It’s hardly a shocker that “Happens” barely happened at all, pulling in a tepid $8.5 million and losing out big to something called “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.”
 
Given this title challenge, it might seem the time is ripe for a business like TitleDoctors, a service launched two and a half years ago by marketing consultants Seth-El and Jamil Barrie and dedicated to the proposition that many studio film titles are so sickly they require medical intervention to wrest them...
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Fangs, But No Fangs

September, 17, 2009 4:29 pm | On #Twilight, vampires

Vampires leave me cold. I guess that’s sort of supposed to be the idea, right? I mean, they’re dead, or undead, or deading.

 

But cold as they may be to the touch, you may have noticed that vampires have never been hotter. And I don’t get it. “Twilight.” “True Blood.” “The Vampire Diaries.” Enough already! Fangs, but no fangs.

 

I think I get why young people are into it. Creatures who come out only at night and drink only red stuff (blood, Red Bull, whatever) could describe half the teen and early 20s population in the United States. It’s a wildly romantic notion to be so dead and yet so alive. I guess.

 

Maybe it’s the idea that life goes on even after it’s over, so long as you got a nice artery to suck on or a steady supply of blood oranges (probably not...

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Enough Already With The Never-Ending Trailers

September, 04, 2009 12:56 pm | On #cinema, Movies, trailers

So the girlfriend and I went to the movies the other night, and I could have sworn we sat for a sextuple feature. This was because five trailers preceded the main attraction.

 

At least, I think they were trailers. It’s was a little tough to tell given how they showed what appeared to be pretty much the entire movie on fast-forward.

 

I think you know what I’m talking about. There’s no such thing anymore as a mere tease. Every trailer now comes with its own spoilers minus any alerts.

 

You emerge from viewing each with the overwhelming urge to leave the theater, grab a coffee and download the experience complete with storyline debate and performance critique.

 

No, really.

What was the tipping point when the marching orders from film studios to trailer production houses was, “...

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Who Needs Friends? I Have Facebook!

August, 30, 2009 11:20 am | On #Facebook

So it’s started to occur to me that I’m spending way too much time on Facebook, and that there appears to be a correlation between my present workload and the propensity to justify the hours spent in the throes of Status Update Fixation and Commentary Mania.

 

It becomes a sort of social network-as-syringe, addiction through monitor-driven camaraderie.

 

With me, it started innocently enough, as these things so often do. Oh, I’ll just accept a couple of friend requests, I said to myself, just to balance out my otherwise active face-to-face social existence. Pretty soon it builds to 50, then 100, then 200.

 

Finally, like a cancer, it explodes, overtaking everything in its path. My friend list now stands at an insufferable 534.

 

I can’t say I’ve ever so much as spoken to at least...

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Give George Carlin His Emmy Now!

August, 20, 2009 10:56 am | On #Emmys, George Carlin

 

If you’re searching for outrages when it comes to the Primetime Emmy Awards, you typically don’t need to look far. Let’s begin with the fact that Jackie Gleason never won one. Astounding, but true.
 
Here’s another: George Carlin never won one, either.
 
Feel free to swear and mutter under your breath with impunity. I’ll wait.
 
OK, that’s enough. But seriously now, how is it even possible that the man who did more than anyone this side of Lenny Bruce to push edgy stand-up and social criticism into the American mainstream never was able to win a single Emmy during his half-century of exposure on television?
 
I mean, you’d think that just by accident he might take home one lousy statuette, given his history of having...
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An entertainment journalist since 1984, Ray Richmond has served variously as a television reporter, critic and columnist for Daily Variety, the Hollywood Reporter, the L.A. Daily News, the Orange County Register and the late Los Angeles Herald Examiner. He is also the author of four books, including the bestselling "The Simpsons: A Complete Guide to Our Favorite Family." When not writing, he can often be found hustling quarters as a street mime in Spokane, Washington. Email: tvrayz@aol.com. He also regularly blogs at www.manbitestinseltown.com.

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