The 5 Craziest Quotes From the Bret Easton Ellis Q&A With Kanye West

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“Now I’m mentally, completely 3 years old”

Bret Easton Ellis is known for saying out-there things on Twitter. But he can’t get a crazy word in edgewise in his new interview with Kanye West.

Ellis kicked off his new podcast Monday by interviewing the creative genius (West’s preferred title, as he explains). We know it’s going to be a battle of egos when Ellis pontificates for three minutes before letting West, his occasional collaborator, answer a question.

Also read: Bret Easton Ellis Apologizes to Kathryn Bigelow for Tweets

But once West gets going, it’s gold. He uses an anecdote about Paris to explain why he feels like the protagonist in “12 Years a Slave.” And he says his current mental age is three.

Basically, we have a new favorite podcast.

Also read: Al Gore Weighs In on Jimmy Kimmel’s Crazy Kanye West Interview (Video)

Here are West’s wildest comments in his Q&A with Ellis. We’re pretty sure some of them are jokes.

1. “Just explaining to people out there that are listening that maybe have some perceptions or have heard some brash comments that I’ve made like doing like Disney or Steve Jobs comparisons, I have the right to do that and I have the right to say that. It’s fun for me, because to set your goals that high. You know? Steve Jobs was never the best computer programmer but he had an understanding and a feeling.”

2. “If I were to write my title like going through the airport and you have to put down what you do? I would literally write ‘creative genius’ except for two reasons: Sometimes it takes too long to write that and sometimes I spell the word ‘genius’ wrong. [Laughs.] The irony.”

Also read: ‘The Canyons,’ Lindsay Lohan-Bret Easton Ellis Film, Goes to IFC

3. “For me, I felt like the main character [in ’12 Years a Slave’] in what I’m dealing with even as a like megapopular rich celebrity, f—-you-who-do-you-think-you-are-to- complain-about-anything situation that I’m in when I deal with … attempting to create in other fields. Or attempting to create in clothing. I’ve kind of been on this campaign that started with, ironically, my song, ‘New Slaves,’ where, I was sitting in Paris … .”

4. “The skill set to dress nice is too high. You know what I mean? If someone looks at you and says ‘Oh you dress nice’ you have to like focus on it so much you have to almost be a scholar of clothing to be a well-dressed person and stuff.”

5. “The better and better I get at what I do, the younger and younger I am. Like, every day I’m getting younger. … When I made ‘Graduation’ I was 6 years old. When I made ‘808s’ I jumped to 5 years old. When I, uh, made ‘Cruel Summer,’ uh, I jumped to 5 years old. Then the Taylor Swift thing happened, right? And I had to grow back up. And I delivered what could be considered my most, you know perfected work. And I had to turn to like a 7-year-old. I had to almost reach 10. I almost reached 10 years old when I did ‘Dark Fantasy.’ I had to grow up for a second. … And then I’m having a little bit of fun. And then when I went to ‘Yeesus’ I kind of got back to under 5, like four-and-a-half. And now I’m mentally, completely 3 years old. So if I talk to paparazzi, I’m 3 years old. If I get into an argument with Bob Iger, I’m 3 years old. If I get into an argument with Oprah Winfrey for two hours, I’m 3 years old. But don’t let me get proper money, support backing and to put my work out and let the earth speak back to it. I’m gonna be two-and-a-half years old. By the time I’m like 50 I’m gonna be one. And by the time I’m dead I’m gonna be zero.”