Dailies | Stephen Colbert Bashes NFL Over Proposed Extra Point, Kickoff Elimination (Video)

“How can you even call it ‘football’ if nobody touches the ball with their foot?” the Comedy Central host wondered

Stephen Colbert‘s NFL Championship Game coverage, which for legal purposes he’s calling “Superb Owl XLVIII,” rolled on Tuesday night.

The week-long celebration comes complete with an awesome opening graphic that contains dancing, owl-tossing and fire-breathing Colberts.

The mega sports fan is up in arms — and legs — over the NFL possibly eliminating both the extra point and kickoff from its game in the near future. The Comedy Central host has a serious problem with the proposal, for two reasons.

See video: Stephen Colbert Finds NFL Trademark Loophole: Prepare for ‘Colbert Report’ ‘Superb Owl XLVIII’

First, the semantic one: “How can you even call it ‘football’ if nobody touches the ball with their foot?” Colbert wondered aloud. And then the selfish one: “Most importantly, placekicker was the last position available to middle-aged, lumpy white guys.”

Still, there may be hope for the Colbert Report anchor’s dreams yet: Championship quarterback.

Colbert quipped: “I mean how hard could it be? You put your hands between some guy’s legs and scream? Welcome to my daily staff meeting.”

Watch the clip: