We’re all used to the fact that the “AI” elimination shows are 90 percent filler, but last night’s show was 2 percent filler and 98 percent B.S.

That’s right, despite veiled promises from Ford Fiesta (own one and have hipster paintball fights with your friends!), there was a lack of excitement and an even bigger lack of taste when it came to guest performers.

Interestingly enough, this week’s Bottom 3 was composed of contestants who should’ve been cut last week: Paige Miles, Tim Urban and Lacey Brown. It continues to infuriate me that the eliminations of Lilly Scott and Alex Lambert have not been addressed by the judges. The fight to get Alex back on the show continues; in fact, the creator of the “Bring Back Alex” petition emailed me personally and wants you to check out the latest.   It was announced that, for the second year in a row, the Judges’ Save could, well, save an Idol who was facing elimination, up until the Final 5. Last year, the panel used it on (one of my personal favorites) Matt Giraud. The problem is that, in this lackluster season, I’m not sure there’s anyone worth saving. The Save is meant to compensate for the audience’s disregard of major talent. As far as I’m concerned, a good bit of the major talent has already left the building (Lambert, Scott, Katelyn Epperly and even Todrick Hall). Is there still hope for a Wild Card round?   Most of the blogoshere now agrees that the competition comes down to Crystal Bowersox and Siobhan Magnus, and I can’t see the judges using their “Save” on anyone else. Then again, I can’t foresee a situation where they would need to use it on these fan favorites.   So, who got the boot last night? Well, think about it. Dreamy Urban’s got the tween (and cult-like “Urban Family”) vote going for him. As for Miles, the advantage she has is that she is the only true R&B contestant left in the game. You could argue, of course, that Michael Lynche is also an R&B artist but then ... you would be a racist because Lynche has repeatedly shown his versatility by singing several lame white-guy “jam” songs.   That, of course, leaves Brown, who became the latest person voted off of “American Idol.” While Brown’s performance this week was not awful, she has been singing on borrowed time for a few weeks now.  I’m sure that we’ll hear more from her in the future via the country or Christian markets. (Those people will embrace anyone!)    As for how her elimination will affect the competition ... I have a feeling that her participation was causing a split in votes between her and Didi Benami. Both have the underdoggish singer/songwriter thing going on, and now that Lacey is gone, I have a feeling that her fans will send their votes Benami’s way.   As for the last night’s guest performers, David Cook proved again exactly why he was voted the Idol and Aussie artist Orianthi proved that you can perform a minor song on a major network ... as long as you can prove you were around Michael Jackson in his final days. (See: “This Is It” & Michael Jackson Memorial Service)   As for Ke$ha? Well, this Gaga wannabe provided the Idols with perhaps the greatest lesson of all: that you can be a major superstar with no talent, as long as you have great producers. Even the Bottom 2 seemed to have difficulty masking their disdain for this skanky “talk-singer.” I only hope that Idol features true artists in its future guest spots this season. You know, people like Demi Lovato and Justin Beiber. 

The health care crisis. Global warming. The fact that Cadbury Eggs are only available at Easter. With so many gross injustices in the world, you may feel like you can’t make much of an impact. But, there is one pressing social issue on which you can make your voice heard. (And I’m not talking about Bowersox’s dreads -- “gross” injustice indeed! Ew...)  

I’m talking about the travesty that was last week’s elimination of poor little Alex Lambert, of course! Thankfully Jessica Bongiorno, graphic designer (and someone with a lot of extra time on her hands), was also angered by Lambert’s elimination and has created an online petition to bring him and his mullet back to the show.   Who knows if it will move producers to put a plan into action, but with mentions of the petition in many major outlets and supporters like Demi Moore, former contestant/”Idol Tonight” host Kimberly Caldwell (and me! -- I have a lot of extra time on my hands too!) there is no doubt that they are aware of it. Perhaps it will pressure them to employ one of their patented last minute make-the-rules-up-as-we-go Wild Card Rounds? (Fingers crossed!) Sign the petition, and keep an eye out for Alex on this afternoon’s episode of “Ellen!”   While Simon & Co. did not acknowledge the elephant in the room that was the absence of Lambert and Lilly Scott, they had plenty to say about the remaining contestants' takes on the Rolling Stones. I, on the other hand, had to hook up an IV of Mountain Dew to make it to the end of the show. The Top 12 is supposed to be about big things -- big stage, big makeovers, big talent. Instead, last night was more like a big letdown.     MICHAEL LYNCHE -- “Miss You” If Lynche didn’t endear himself to you when he chose “Idol” over the birth of his first child, maybe he will win you over with his motherlessness. In fact, when Michael’s mom died, music became his savior. (Tear!) Week after week, Big Mike impresses with his big performances. Last night was no exception, as his funktastic version of “Miss You” had him bouncing all around the stage in a controlled flailing motion. While his vocals are always commendable, it is really his personality that stands out.   DIDI BENAMI -- “Play With Fire” I’m relieved that the judges are finally starting to realize what I’ve known all along: this girl’s a star! OK, well she’s as close as you can get to being a star in this underwhelming Top 12. With this song, she showed that she doesn’t need to rely on her guitar (ahem, Crystal Bowersox) and that she is so much more than the pretty girl next door (hi, Katie Stevens!). Benami showed her darker side and it made her sexy. Plus, she really knows how to work that camera. Oh, did I mention that her voice is pretty damn good too?  CASEY JAMES -- “It’s All Over Now” If being corny were a crime ... well then, James would be arrested for a third time. (Cute mugshot!) Casey pulled out the electric guitar again and thankfully it didn’t come off as cheesy as the last time. In fact, the judges seemed to really like it overall but I still don’t get it. Don’t get me wrong. Casey’s pleasant and all -- nice voice, good looking guy -- but I just don’t see the “it” factor. And that’s something that you either have or you don’t (kind of like an arrest record). Simon seems to agree with me, as he frustratingly told Casey that all he needed to do was “just be a star.” Oooooh, why didn’t you say so in the first place, Cowell?   LACEY BROWN -- “Ruby Tuesday” Lacey’s pastor dad said that she lives by the adage “If you remain shy, you’ll miss your destiny.” Or wait. Was it “If you remain seated on the stage, you’ll sound better?” Well, anyway, it was one of those two. Lacey seems like a nice Christian girl, even if the Lord has yet to answer her prayers regarding fashion guidance. (A bustier over a one-shouldered striped shirt?) But Brown is just not the next American Idol. While I really like the quality of her voice when she’s on -- and that’s rare -- there is still an inauthenticity to it. Who is she imitating? Feist, Regina Spektor or ... Lilly Scott?    ANDREW GARCIA -- “Gimme Shelter” I don’t know which part of Andrew’s interview package made me the saddest: his parent’s gang ties, their financial woes or that his dad thought he’d turn out to be a custodian. No wait. It’s got to be the fear his mom seems to have of looking into video cameras. Or of looking at his dad ... Or of smiling. Even sadder is the fact that I remember his parents more than I remember his actual performance. Kudos to Andrew for not using his guitar as a crutch but he’s gonna have to step it up if he wants to stand out in this season of mediocrity.   KATIE STEVENS -- “Wild Horses” Wild horses couldn’t drag me to the phone to vote for little Katie Stevens. The judges thought that she finally picked the right song but I have to disagree. While she sounded better than she has since the audition rounds, I still felt that this song was too old for her. I mean, Susan Boyle recorded it for the love of Seacrest! What’s next? “I Dreamed A Dream?” There’s a difference between being the star of the high school talent show and being an American Idol. She should go back to singing at family functions in Connecticut. (Who gets an 8-year-old to sing at their wedding anyway?)   TIM URBAN -- “Under My Thumb” Urban was going to be a quarterback until he realized that it was never gonna happen because he wasn’t tall enough. Someone needs to work up the guts to tell Tim that his dream to be the America Idol is never gonna happen, either, because he’s not talented enough. None of the judges really “got” this reggae version of “Under My Thumb.” I didn’t think it was that bad, though, and I commend him for trying something different. We’d better get used to him; thousands of votes will undoubtedly go his way, thanks to Vote for the Worst and the tween girl community (not to mention his myriad of siblings). SIOBHAN MAGNUS -- “Paint It Black” Holy Clay Aiken! For me (and probably you, too), this was the standout performance of the night, maybe even the season. I’m not a big Glambert fan, but Siobhan’s performance was reminiscent of the best parts of his “Idol” run: lighting, stairs and screeching. I don’t know where she came up with this arrangement but I loved it -- from the string-heavy beginning that sounded straight out of a Disney movie to the last ten seconds of controlled and utter perfection. Now that my two favorite quirky people were voted off, I’m officially backing Magnus. It doesn’t get much quirkier than this girl. In fact, her whole clan seems like the kind of family who would be perfect candidates on “Wife Swap,” IF you know what I mean. Go Siobhan!   LEE DEWYZE -- “Beast of Burden” “What’s always held you back ... is your personality.” Wow. I’d rather be told that I was a bad singer than to hear these words from Simon or anyone for that matter. Makes you wanna hang up the guitar and jump off a bridge. (Don’t do it, Lee!) I actually liked this sleepy version of the song and enjoyed Lee’s voice too but this performance was yet another example of why this season has been so underwhelming. While I like the whole singer-songwriter thing, it bores me to see it over and over again from every other contestant. If I wanted that, I’d go to a James Taylor concert, not watch “American Idol.”    PAIGE DAVIS -- “Honky Tonk Woman” It looks like someone took advantage of the makeover team! Paige’s hair and makeup looked amazing, even against her creepy honey-colored contacts. While I wasn’t blown away, I have to say that this was probably Miles’ strongest performance yet. She used the big stage and actually looked like she was -- gasp! -- having fun. Also getting her brownie points was the fact that she lost her father at a young age. So much more interesting than her past confession of that nasty coloring book habit. If Paige has stayed in the game this long, chances are that she’ll be around for a few more episodes, especially if her confidence keeps blossoming.   AARON KELLY -- “Angie” I love that Kelly looks like a singing Haley Joel Osment and that his voice is so pure. Most of all, I love that his mom’s name is Kelly Kelly. What I don't like, though, is the crazy hip shaking move he performs week after week. Can someone get this kid a choreographer? The judges all lauded his song choice but I felt it was a little too old for him, once again. Of course, in his defense, it was Rolling Stones Week. Maybe I’ll deem his song choice more appropriate during Jonas Brothers Week. That is, if he makes it until then.   CRYSTAL BOWERSOX -- “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” One person not buying into the antiquated patriarchal belief that a women’s value is measured by her beauty is Crystal Bowersox. In other words, she didn’t get a makeover.  (Stick it to The Man, sister!) Deodorized or not, Bowersox sounded as impeccable as always. Once again, though, it is all a bit too folksy for me. How about a Madonna Week? Then we can really see her range! Bowersox is, of course, the favorite to win but I think that Magnus’ ability to perform many different genres may give her a run for her money.

I should’ve known something was up at about 6:45, when my phone started blowing up with texts from the East Coast. A sampling: “Idol Shocker!”; “I am done”; and the always-classy “WTF?!” I am usually not an advocate of spoilers, but I almost wish someone had told me the results so that I wouldn’t have been so shocked. (On that note, spoiler alert! “Avatar” is lame ... You’re welcome.)

When Seacrest mentioned at the top of the show that “we could be in for a surprise or two,” I was thinking that maybe the Idols would actually be singing their group number live or -- I don’t know -- in tune. Oh, how naive I was back then! You know, last night before 8 pm.   Idol Shocker, indeed! The folks eliminated this week were Katelyn Epperly, Todrick Hall, Alex Lambert and Lilly Scott. America, you got it wrong -- insultingly, appallingly wrong. So many have called this the worst season ever and getting rid of some of the strongest performers just doesn’t make sense.    Katelyn was the first to go, amid bewildered expressions from the other contestants. She held it together for her swan song, but as soon as it ended, she was heard sobbing into her lavalier mic. (Seriously, producers, give these kids some privacy!)    Epperly had been growing on me more and more each week. Yes, her choice of wardrobe on Tuesday was very “Romper Room” and the stand-up keyboard added a whole ‘nother layer of cheese, but the girl’s got talent. Even during the saccharine-filled group numbers, her energy made her stand out; I couldn’t take my eyes off her. This is even more impressive seeing as how she doesn’t quite seem like show choir type. There were at least three ladies in my opinion who should’ve gone home before Katelyn: Paige Miles, Katie Stevens and Lacey Brown.   Although Paige is the best female singer in the group according to Simon, there is nothing about her that screams “star!” In fact, everything about her says “snore.” She is all over the place as far as her song choices go and the most interesting thing we know about her is that she likes to color and that she’s still really, really, really bummed about the death of Michael Jackson. For her sake, I hope she develops a personality for next week’s interview package.   I do feel that Lacey bought herself another week after her (first) strong performance on Tuesday, but she shouldn’t have outlasted Katelyn. Both she and Paige seemed to sense that they were on borrowed time and looked guiltier than Sandra Bullock accepting an Oscar for a trite football movie.    As for little Katie Stevens, I think that she is benefitting from being a high-school student in a small town. I can just see the posters all over school: “Vote 4 Katie 2-Nite on Idol!” Gag. There is nothing remotely interesting or unique about this girl, but America still seems to like her. Hmmm, vanilla is also the most popular ice cream flavor in America. Could there be a safe and boring connection?  I predict that after making it to the Top 10, she will go the way of Jasmine Trias and Chicken Little....which is WHERE, by the way?   Then there was Todrick. I haven’t been a huge fan of his but I have to say that his performance Wednesday night was probably his strongest to date ... until his final performance last night (not that it mattered at that point). Todrick has always come off as a little cocky to me, with all the “I know Fantasia” and “I’m on Broadway” stuff. The whole “alleged scam artist” title wasn’t doing him any favors either. Did America get it right with him? Well, I wouldn’t go so far as to say they got it wrong. Hall was never in the running for a Top 4 position. At least now he can go back to his first love, dance (or was it stealing money from stage parents?).    Alex Lambert’s elimination actually made me (and Siobhan) a bit teary-eyed.  How could this happen? To me, people like Lambert are what “American Idol” is all about. He is someone who, up until now, has only played in coffee houses and the like. He is no professional but just watching him grow has been riveting. His story is not of the “grandma has Alzheimer’s” or “I like to color” variety. His story has been his journey on the actual show. (And his voice is not too shabby either!) I was really pulling for this kid, but I guess being featured on Entertainment Weekly’s Must List just didn’t help. (Neither, it seems, did the 12 votes I cast for him on Wednesday.) Watching him trudge through his final performance was heartbreaking, but at least it sounded good.    I was still coping with Lambert’s elimination when it was announced that Lilly Scott was out of the running, too. Was this a joke? In my eyes, Scott had been a frontrunner from the very beginning and I expected to see her in the Top 4. It seems I wasn’t the only one shocked, as Kara was caught shaking her head and Todrick’s and Katelyn’s body language read as “pissed.”   Could it be that Middle America is not ready for such a quirky Idol? The indie rock crowd probably doesn’t watch a whole lot of “AI” and, even if they did, would they admit to voting? Also looking pretty upset and disillusioned was Crystal Bowersox, who must be thinking that it could just as easily be her next week, seeing as she’s not the pretty pretty princess Top 40 type either.   At the risk of sounding angry or cocky, Scott summed it up best herself: “I thought i did really well. I thought I was appealing to a lot of people ... It’s surprising. a lot of incredible talent is going home tonight and I don’t know what America wants to hear.”     At this point, I don’t either. 

If the girls were feeling disconnected from their lyrics on Tuesday, then the guys more than made up for it Wednesday. While I’ve continually said that this is a girl’s year, I have to admit that the show featured the strongest collective performances of the season so far. Even the “bad” performances were pretty good. 

LEE DEWYZE -- “Fireflies” by Owl City Kara thought that Lee actually made “Fireflies” better, and I have to agree, though, in my eyes, any interpretation is an improvement upon the original. I liked the song roughed up a bit and didn’t miss the synthy notes from Owl City’s version at all. (Is that Casio supposed to sound like a firefly?) I wouldn’t call this a particularly memorable performance, though. In fact, I wouldn’t call Dewyze a particularly memorable contestant. I think he is a wannabe David Cook without the style. Ellen would beg to differ with me, however, as she noted that tons of girls have crushes on Lee regardless of his pitch problems. (I have yet to meet one.)   ALEX LAMBERT -- “Trouble” by Ray LaMontagne Little Alex Lambert is, I think, my favorite contestant this year. He is definitely my favorite male contestant, anyway. Maybe it’s his “reverse moptop” (also known as a mullet), but does anyone else think he looks just a little like a young Paul McCartney, especially when he’s holding a guitar? Adorable! He has come leaps and bounds from that first deer-in-headlights performance and he just keeps getting more comfortable. He definitely seems to be the most vulnerable (don’t you just want to take him under your wing?!) but the irony is that Kara says vulnerability is what he’s missing. I see what she means; you must fully surrender yourself to the song in order to be a good performer. I’d like to see him do a faster, more fun song where he can move around stage a bit.   TIM URBAN - “Hallelujah” by Jeff Buckley I had to rewind the DVR and watch this performance again because all I could about the first time was Jason Castro’s standout moment from Season 7. Once I got back in the moment, I realized that Urban’s version was actually not that bad. Was it good enough to warrant Ellen leaving her seat to hug him? Uh, no, but that sure made for great awkward television. (And isn’t that part of the reason Ellen is there in the first place?) I don’t quite agree with Kara’s assessment that Urban is now “in it” and could be one of the top guys, and by “I don’t quite agree,” I mean “is she freakin’ insane?” Sheesh, slow your rolls, ladies. The guy has one listenable performance and you’re ready to put him in the Top 12. Could it be guilt over how the show has treated him overall? Hmmm ...   ANDREW GARCIA -- “Genie in a Bottle” by Christina Aguilera I think that Garcia has absolutely blown it. His Paula Abdul moment was weeks ago, and he has been floundering ever since, trying to live up to it. Guess what? It’s impossible. Part of the reason the Abdul song worked at all was because of her “Idol” connection. This week, he was obviously trying to replicate that success by choosing another supercheesy female pop song. To be fair, he did do what they’ve been asking him to do for weeks -- surprise us. But I was a little too surprised by this song choice, flabbergasted even. I could not stop picturing Garcia sporting harem pants to match his glasses and neck tattoo. And I don’t want to know the proper technique for rubbing Garcia the “right way.” He’s gotten a free pass these last couple of weeks, but this performance may have been the nail in his coffin (or the cork in his genie bottle).    CASEY JAMES -- “You’ll Think of Me” by Keith Urban While Simon thought this was Casey’s second best performance (next to Bryan Adams’ “Heaven”), it was my favorite of his. I felt that he was actually connected to the song and there was a real sincerity. I bought it. I haven’t seen a whole lot of star power in James throughout the competition but this performance gave me a glimpse of what he could be. He seems to have taken Ellen’s note last week about being less stiff. Now if he can just get enough votes to survive until Shirtless Week ...   AARON KELLY -- “I’m Already There” by Lonestar Thank you, Kara, for pointing out what really irked me about this performance. Why in the world was the youngest person left in the competition singing a song from the perspective of a married father? Why?! Simon said that it didn’t matter but I have to disagree. If you can’t connect to the song, then you can’t sell it, no matter how great you sound. And, BTW, Kelly didn't sound that great on this song, plus his post-traumatic stress-type rocking wasn’t winning him any points, either. I think Aaron is talented but he needs to grow some confidence, lose the goat-bleating vibrato and ground himself (i.e. nail his shoes to the floor).     TODRICK HALL -- “Somebody to Love” by Queen This was yet another song that was reminiscent of a powerful moment on a Fox show, only it wasn’t “American Idol.” That’s right, it looks like Todrick is a Gleek, too. And why wouldn’t he be? He is in musical theater, after all. In fact, Simon said that this performance proved that he’s a Broadway singer. I said the same thing about Clay Aiken years ago ... only you, Todrick, are no Clay Aiken. (But who is?) Yes, Hall can sing but his whole vibe just puts me off. It may have something to do with that whole alleged “Oz: The Musical” scam. Or maybe it’s because he has ties to Fantasia. (Have you seen her reality show? Sheesh.)  Ellen thought Todrick’s cover sounded like a gospel song but I’ve gotta tell you, I’m still not a believer.   MICHAEL LYNCHE--  “This Woman’s Work” by Kate Bush/Maxwell Best. Performance. This. Year. I actually got chills watching this, and I wasn’t alone, judging by Kara’s tearful reaction. For me, this performance worked for the very reason that Aaron Kelly’s didn’t: connection. The vocal was impressive but the sincerity is what made it so undeniably moving. This song is all about coming into one’s own as a new father and that is exactly what’s going on in Lynche’s life right now. It’s a difficult song to sing but he pulled it off and his ownership of the stage (crazy big movements) proved that he’s got the kind of reckless abandon that’s missing in contestants like Alex Lambert. Big Mike’s on a roll and is clearly the one to beat.   The guys are all so different that’s it’s hard to predict who will be eliminated. My gut tells me that Tim Urban’s groupies may save him again this week. To me the most forgettable performer was Lee Dewyze -- and I think that Andrew Garcia’s time is just about up. 

It seems like this week on “Idol” is more of a formality than an actual competition. (You know, kind of like holding the Oscars anyway even though even the most casual movie watchers had already predicted the winners in the four acting categories.) 

In this season of lackluster performances, it has become pretty obvious who is going to be sticking around for a bit and who is on borrowed time. In fact, Kara even commented last night that Katelyn Epperly didn’t seem to be in competition mode. She has been a strong performer the last couple of weeks and is probably pretty confident that there are at least three ladies that will be eliminated before her, regardless of how good or bad her performance was this week.   Another thing that stood out was the lack of connection to the songs. (Ahem -- Katie Stevens, Paige Miles and Siobhan Magnus.) Each of these girls claimed that they chose songs that had deep personal meaning to them yet none of them seemed to portray the emotions adequately. Stevens can blame her youth and Magnus can blame her social awkwardness but I’m not sure what was going on with Miles.   KATIE STEVENS -- “Breakaway” by Kelly Clarkson At first I thought, “Is she serious with this song choice?” But, as she later explained, she is from a small town, after all. And I’m pretty sure that when the rain would fall down, she’d just stare out her window. Unfortunately, at this point, staring out the window seems like a more viable entertainment option for me than listening to one more performance by Katie Stevens. Yes, her voice is pleasant but she has yet to “wow” me the way she did with her first audition to “At Last.” Interestingly enough, while that song is more of a standard, the judges have been pressing her to be more youthful. Ellen thought that she gave it a good try this week but it still didn’t work for me, dawg. Never sing a song that’s too big for you. And never, never, never sing Kelly Clarkson as a contestant on “American Idol.” Ever.   SIOBHAN MAGNUS -- “House of the Rising Sun” by the Animals Siobhan sounded amazing as always, but I didn’t feel she was particularly connected with the song. What’s odd about that is that she chose it because it’s so “special” to her and her dad. “From the interview beforehand to the performance to what you’re wearing, it was all a bit weird,” said Simon. I can’t argue with that, Cowell, but that weirdness is kind of the reason I love her. Asperger suspicions aside, the girl can blow. (BTW, my Googling skills have taught me that I’m not the only one with those suspicions.) I have no idea what she’s going to sing (or wear) next but I’m pretty sure that it’ll sound good. I just want her to make me feel it.   LACEY BROWN -- “The Story” by Brandi Carlile Lacey truly redeemed herself this week. She chose a song that really complimented her voice, and she didn’t have any weird pitchy things going on. (To play devil’s advocate, though, she was sitting on the floor the whole time.) She never once had me holding my breath bracing for the awkward moments I have come to expect from her. That being said, I’m not sure that “she didn’t make my ears bleed” is exactly a ringing endorsement. I think this week’s performance may have bought her another week and I’m curious to see what she sings if she survives.   KATELYN EPPERLY -- “I Feel the Earth Move” by Carole King As much as I like Katelyn, this performance did not do it for me. I know I defended her makeover and red lipstick on Week 1, but her style seems to be just a little schizophrenic. I mean, what was up with that romper? It was very reminiscent of my friend, Robin’s, favorite outfit from back in the day. (Did I mention that Robin was my Cabbage Patch Kid?) This was Katelyn’s effort to be less corny? Her old-school stand-up keyboard looked like the one that the gorilla played at Showbiz Pizza Place or maybe she was going for “Partridge Family refugee.” Regardless of how forgettable this performance was, I think we’ll see more of Katelyn (and hopefully less of her rompers).   DIDI BENAMI -- “Rhiannon” by Fleetwood Mac With her golden curls and guitar, Benami almost looked like she could be pretty little Taylor Swift’s older sister. Unlike Swift’s Grammy performance, though, Didi’s rendition of “Rhiannon” was actually painless. For me, this was the standout performance of the night. I have been a fan of Didi’s since Hollywood Week and I’m so relieved that the judges are finally giving her the credit that she deserves. I think that she’s the real thing and I appreciated Ellen’s words of wisdom that “you’re always gonna be torn apart by somebody” and “that everybody has opinions.” Yup. Opinion-haver right here, Ellen!   PAIGE MILES -- “Smile” by Charlie Chaplin I know that this song can be a bit melancholy but Paige’s version made me want to cut myself! It’s called “Smile” and she didn't ... not once. In fact, she should’ve been the one to sing Kara’s “Terrified,” as that word seems to better sum up her mood. I didn’t quite get her reference to Michael Jackson, either. I know that he also loved and recorded this song but why did that make her so emotional? We all remember where we were when we heard of MJ’s passing but I explored all my feelings of grief and abandonment in therapu, not on the “American Idol” stage. MJ, the ultimate entertainer, would not be proud; the show must go on, emotions and drug addictions be damned.   CRYSTAL BOWERSOX -- “Give Me One Reason” by Tracy Chapman Bowersox has a huge voice but she’s just not challenging herself enough. And why should she? When you’re continually referred to as “the one to beat,” there’s not much motivation to change up your act. And that’s what I get the sense she’s performing: her coffee-house act. I think that these songs are already in her repertoire and I’d like to hear her do something not so ... folksy, because while I enjoy her voice, I can tell you that I won’t be buying any folksy records. I’d love for her to take a clichéd, sugar-sweet pop song and turn it on its head. Guess we’ll have to wait for the theme weeks to hear her mix it up a bit.   LILLY SCOTT -- “I Fall to Pieces” by Patsy Cline I’ll take a page out of Ellen’s comment book and say that even though this performance was a little pitchy, it really doesn’t matter because I love Lilly Scott anyway. I agree with Kara’s comment that Scott made this song sound current, but I think it could’ve been even more impressive without the old school country music as accompaniment. Still, the Beatles? Patsy Cline? Is there any artist this girl can't cover and make it sound unique? (I’m waiting for Elvis!) She took a chance and I think it paid off. Scott is the most unique artist on the show this year and I’d like to see her make it to at least the Top 4.   I predict that Katie Stevens and Paige Miles will be leaving us this tomorrow night, with Lacey Brown following soon after.

“I gotta feeling ... that tonight’s gonna be a good, good night.” (Whoooo hoo, indeed!) To the producer in charge of picking out this Black Eyed Peas, er, masterpiece for the group number, I say thank you. It is obvious that you have a wicked sense of humor, since it was clearly not a good night for at least four of our Idol hopefuls. Kudos also go out to the choreographer for her literal interpretation of lyrics such as “jump off that sofa” (sit and ... jump!) and “let’s kick it up” (kick your legs up!). This week it was the lovely Lilly Scott who could not have looked more awkward during this show choir number. Perhaps it was her heels or the distraction of swarms of people moving in a circular motion and, uh, “jumping off the sofa” but she just looked, well ... drunk. On the other hand, Katelyn Epperly showed major stage presence (I like her more and more every time I see her!), as did Lacey (It’s amazing what a great singer you become when your vocals are prerecorded!) Brown.   I have to admit that I’ve played back the group number more than a few times, as I haven’t been this obsessed with a funny music video since that Japanese “Yatta!” number. (Look it up; it’s amazing.) As I noted last season, it still really bothers me that the Idols lip-sync during this portion of the show. Even worse? The fact that the solo ad libs were all, like, electronicized. (Is that a word?) I guess it fits the whole “Peas” vibe, but we’re not looking for the next Black Eyed Pea or Ke$ha or overly produced marginally talented singer. We’re looking for an Idol.    Hokey Danny Gokey appeared and apparently he’s a country singer now. (What?!) While he has a great voice, I just don’t see him in that genre, no matter what Randy Travis says.  His new single, “My Best Days Are Ahead of Me,” wasn’t exactly outstanding, either, regardless of being written by another widower. (I can’t believe we’re still hearing about Gokey’s dead wife!)   As for the eliminations, I don’t want to say “I told you so,” so I’ll say “I was right.” Tim Urban escaped elimination again this week despite being the weakest man in the competition. He’s cute, I’ll give him that, but he is no American Idol. He should return to Texas and play guitar at the Duncanville single men’s ward or something. Hey, I like “Big Love” as much as the next person, but this kid’s got to go next week.    It came down instead to John Park and Jermaine Sellers, neither a huge surprise. (Again, not to say “I told you so ... ”) Park’s elimination was a little disappointing because I think he’s better than the performances he gave on the live shows. He just didn’t seem to be clear on what kind of artist he wanted to be.    Unfortunately, on “Idol,” you have limited time to blow the audience away and make them fall in love with you. Don’t cry for him, though; we may not have fallen in love with him but I’m sure he’s got lots of “Purple Haze” a cappella groupies waiting back at Northwestern to admire that “beautiful bottom end” that Shania Twain so famously revered.   Regarding his future as a recording artist, I’m not so sure we’ll see him on iTunes anytime soon if his parents’ expressions were any indication. Could they have loked more stoic listening to his final performance from the balcony? Something tells me that Park may end up changing his major from voice to something more honorable to traditional Korean families -- medicine, law or taekwondo teacher.   Apparently God didn’t get Jermaine’s messages this week ‘cause he was the next to go. When Seacrest asked if he thought his sassy mouth got him in trouble with the audience, Sellers kept it relatively classy, even giving props to his fellow contestants. And apparently he’s not angry at God for abandoning him in his hour of need because “in God, there is no failure.”   As for the girls, Haeley Vaughn and Michelle Delamor graced the “Idol” stage for the last time. Michelle got the boot because she was forgettable, while Haeley was eliminated because she was unforgettable -- for all the wrong reasons. It’s interesting that Kara took back the praise she had given Michelle the night before, saying that when she watched it back on television it was sharp. Simon also said that he had given praise to someone the night before who didn’t deserve it once he watched the playback; however, he refused to name names. Could he have been speaking of Michelle as well?   When it came down to Vaughn and Lacey Brown, Simon said that it was “very obvious who’s gonna go home” to “everyone watching.” This had me scratching my head a little bit because they are both clearly the weakest girls in the competition. In fact, they both deserved to go home before Michelle, if we’re judging solely on vocals. But, as we know, this is “American Idol” and it’s as much of a popularity contest as it is a singing contest. I think America made the right choice by sending Haeley home, though. She does have some potential; she is just young and needs to learn to stop screaming (and smiling).    I still think that the losers giving final performances immediately after their eliminations is cruel. Particularly cruel was playing the “goodbye” video right before the 16-year-old with raging hormones (Vaughn) had to sing a song as sappy as “The Climb.” “I can almost see it, that dream I’m dreaming,” she sang. “But there’s a voice inside my head saying ‘you’ll never reach it.’” That voice is Simon and America, Haeley, but keep reaching for that dream anyway.  

After getting an extra day to practice due to this week’s scheduling switcheroo, you’d expect the ladies to blow the men out of the water. Well, they definitely blew ,,, something. Don’t be so crass; I’m talking about their chances! They are blowing their chances. There are obviously some phenomenally talented women in the group -- stars, even -- but watching last night’s performances just made me want to cut the fat and get to this year’s Top 12 already.

What is unfathomable to me is that out of the thousands of people who auditioned, these were the singers that the judges chose. I realize that in the grand scheme of things, we’re only looking for one American Idol. But, come on. Haeley Vaughn compared to Crystal Bowersox? Let’s at least try to make the competition a nailbiter.    My biggest complaint with the girls is that while many of them seem to have the whole package -- a good voice, the looks -- it’s just not translating to star power. The “it” factor is missing. In fact, it’s the women who don't seem to fit the clichéd pop star mold who are making the biggest impressions. Perhaps America is tired of being forcefed its celebrities and is ready for regular people with real talent -- the kind of people who wouldn’t have a chance at stardom otherwise.   The other predicament is the prevalence of pitch problems. (Alliteration is fun!) No, seriously, it is a singing competition after all. Both the guys and the ladies seem to have excessive problems staying in tune this year. (It’s pitchy, dawg.) Perhaps if they’d hit the notes, we’d have an opportunity to hear Ellen give more criticism than “it was pitchy but it doesn’t matter ‘cause I like you.” Though, to be fair, she is also fond of “I forgot I was watching a singing competition and I was just entertained” or variations thereof.    CRYSTAL BOWERSOX: “Long As I Can See the Light” by Creedence Clearwater Revival This was, without a doubt, the most anticipated performance of the evening, if not for Crystal’s talent, then for the drama she faced with her medical issues (reportedly stemming from diabetes) the day before. As you probably already know, the girls were scheduled to perform on Tuesday but producers pushed their night to Wednesday after doctors said Bowersox was too ill to participate. Well, if this is what she sounds like during recovery, she might as well take an extended medical leave and show up in time to perform in the Top 3. Believe the hippie hype. Even Simon’s a fan. Whatever good luck trinkets she’s got in that dragonfly satchel -- they’re working for her. Not working for me? The dreads. I love that she’s being herself but makeover week cannot come soon enough!   HAELEY VAUGHN: “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus I didn’t think it was possible for anyone to be more annoying than Miley Cyrus. Vaughn’s rendition made Miley’s performance in “The Hannah Montana Movie” look like a night at the opera. While Kara thinks that she has the “Alex Lambert factor” going for her, I beg to differ. People root for Lambert because he’s doesn’t quite believe just how talented he is. Vaughn, in contrast, has more confidence than her talent allows. Perhaps she should spend less time making headbands (gluegun fumes) and work more on her vocals.   LACEY BROWN: “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None the Richer Lacey Brown is kind of like the nice girl next door who can sing. She’s not a star (despite those piercing blue eyes). In fact, I’m shocked that she made it through Hollywood Week last year as well. Clearly the judges see something in her that I haven’t yet. I’m not sure that it was the right move for her to take Kara’s song suggestion last week so literally, even though she claimed that “Kiss Me” was already on her list. If she makes it past this week (big “if”), it will be interesting to see what she chooses as her swan song -- er, I mean “next song.” Maybe she should stick to refurbishing antiques.   KATIE STEVENS: “Put Your Records On” by Corinne Bailey Rae Ellen hit the nail on the head when she said that she doesn’t want to hear something that she’d hear in her dentist’s office. That’s the thing with little Katie. I would enjoy her voice as background noise if I were shopping in the produce aisle or maybe even getting my bikini line waxed because it calms you so much that it almost puts you to sleep. While she has a good voice, there is nothing about it that excites me. Don’t blame age; Jordin Sparks was a teenager when she won and she had charisma, looks and the talent to back it up. I just need to see more from this girl. It is sad (in more ways than one) that the most interesting thing about her is the fact that her grandmother has Alzheimer’s.    DIDI BENAMI: “Lean On Me” by Bill Withers For me, Benami is one of the strongest female contenders this year and I think that the judges were a lot harsher on her than she deserved. I mean, she’s no Tim Urban, despite last night’s teary-eyed stare. Sure, she’s not really an R&B singer and there were some (surprise!) pitch problems here and there but I think she tried to make the song her own. She is one of the few girls whose tone I really enjoy and I actually picked up the phone and voted for her. I hope it helps; I can think of more than a few girls who deserve to go home before she does.   MICHELLE DELAMOR: “With Arms Wide Open” by Creed I’ve got to hand it to her; the judges wanted to hear something unexpected from Michelle and she delivered on that front. I mean, is any audience ever prepared to hear someone sing Creed? What’s next? Nickelback? But you know it’s bad when Randy starts out with “the most positive for him” -- the outfit. Ouch. Michelle is one of those contestants who has it all on paper -- the looks, the voice and, apparently, the “outfit.” But she is yet another girl who bores me. I do like the fact that she tried to sing something other than a Mariah or Whitney song, but you’ve got to do more than turn a rock song into a soul ballad. If you’re going to mix it up like that, you’ve got to make it unforgettable.   LILLY SCOTT: “A Change Is Gonna Come” by Sam Cooke Scott is one of my favorites this year. She may not have the strongest belt or the best “outfit,” but she is perhaps the most authentic as an artist. Other contestants seem maddeningly obsessed with “tricks” to please the judges. Should I take a country song and make it rock? Maybe I’ll sing the song the judges mentioned last week. Or I’ve got it! I’ll sit on a stool! (That one seems to win out a lot.) You get the feeling with Scott, though, that she knows her voice and that she chooses her songs effortlessly, without worrying too much about what the judges expect. In fact, I don’t think the judges know what they’d like to hear from her until they actually hear it. I can’t wait to see what she pulls out of her hat next week.   KATELYN EPPERLY: “The Scientist” by Coldplay This girl is growing on me more and more each week. The fact that she is the only contestant who’s played the piano so far really makes her stand out. (Let’s just hope that her skills are not limited to the 3 or 4 repetitive chords she showed off in this song.) Also making her stand out? Her voice. She pulled off a tune by the Beatles last show and had success with Coldplay this week -- neither an easy feat. (Need I remind you of Matt Giraud’s disastrous performance of “Viva La Vida” last year?) Kara said that while she’s a fan, she wants Epperly to decide who she is as an artist. That critique makes a lot of sense on one level. Then again, why limit yourself if you can do well in so many genres? I don’t see the judges telling Michael Lynche to definite himself as an artist. I can’t wait until the theme weeks this season, as that is when Katelyn should really shine.   PAIGE MILES: “Walk Away” by Kelly Clarkson The problem with Miles is that I forgot all about her and her performance as soon as Siobhan Magnus took the stage. She didn’t get any screen time during the audition rounds and it’s really hurting her. In fact, before last night, I couldn’t tell you one thing about her. And today? Well, now I know that she likes to color. Like, with crayons. not helping, Paige! Though Simon says that she has the best voice of the ladies, it doesn’t matter because her personality is forgettable. Also not helping was the fact that she sang a song written by none other than Kara DioGuardi, who defined it as an angry song, not a smiley song. Whoops. Oh, and it was recorded by Kelly Clarkson. Will they never learn?   SIOBHAN MAGNUS: “Think” by Aretha Franklin Speaking of Kelly Clarkson, the song that put her on the map was also an Aretha classic, “Respect.” If Magnus impressed the judges with last week’s “Wicked Game,” then her performance of “Think” blew them away. This glass-blowing apprentice is so quirky and socially awkward that I sometimes wonder if she has Asperger Syndrome. You know how Dustin Hoffman was really good at memorizing in “Rain Man?” Well, maybe Magnus is a singing prodigy who can’t interact properly with others. Regardless, it’s working for her. Yes, there were a few really bad parts toward the beginning but that note at the end excused everything. Dark horse no more, she is definitely one to watch.

Seeing as this is a girls’ season on “American Idol,” it was disappointing to tune in Tuesday night and discover that the guys would be performing instead of the ladies, who were scheduled initially. Producers changed the order due to doctor’s orders that Crystal Bowersox not perform due to complications from her diabetes.

I’m sure the guys really loooved performing a day early but they didn’t complain. In fact, they showed improvement over last week. 

MICHAEL LYNCHE: “This Is a Man’s World” by James Brown  I’ve always liked Big Mike, and not just because his wife had a baby during Hollywood Week. Lynche has it all -- sensitivity, musicality, a really effective circuit training routine ... But it wasn’t until last night that he proved he’s got soul. Sure, the novelty of the tough guy serenading us with the likes of Maroon 5 and Jason Mraz was enjoyable enough, but this different side of Big Mike showed us two things: that he’s versatile and that he’s got real star power. Additionally, the black suit just screamed “badass” (or “hitman”). If Randy’s standing ovation is any indication, Lynche may just be the one to beat.   JOHN PARK: “Gravity” by John Mayer The thing with Park is that he’s got a good voice but I’m not sure he’s picking the right songs. I mean, let’s be honest. Last week’s “God Bless the Child” was better suited for a big fat black lady in a church choir than a hot Korean kid who goes to Northwestern. While “Gravity” was a little more, uh, current, Randy just couldn’t get John Mayer out of his head. (And, come on, John Mayer and all his douchebaggery should be a turn-off for virtually everyone!) Park can sing all the Top 40 songs he wants, but there is still something too formal about his style. He sounds more like a classical or Broadway artist than a pop singer. Perhaps that’s the college a cappella group coming through? If so then they are clearly no comparison to Indiana University’s own “Straight No Chaser.” (Go, Hoosiers!)     CASEY JAMES: “I Don’t Want to Be” by Gavin DeGraw I love this song; in fact, it was my ringtone a few years back. But James seemed more interested in showing off his mad guitar skills than his vocals this week. Perhaps he should go down to the local bar for Guitar Hero Night. He could probably win some free wings or something. His vocals, however, were not even good enough to win a karaoke contest, much less a free order of nachos. I think he is as cute as can be, but his permagrin seems to be a shield to mask his nervousness. Ellen picked up on this too, calling him “stiff.” The guitar, the hair and the face all say rock star, but the voice isn’t quite there for me yet, dawg.   ALEX LAMBERT: “Everybody Knows” by John Legend The more I learn about this kid the more I love him! I mean, who makes up their own language? (Only the most adorable 6th grader ever!) I like the fact that he owned up to his nerve problem from last week. That being said, he didn’t fool me this week. Ellen exclaimed that she didn’t know how he overcame his nerves this time around but I know how, Ellen. He hid behind a guitar and sat on a stool! Hey, whatever it takes to make him feel comfortable. Yes, he was a little pitchy this time, but his voice doesn’t have that nervous quiver that some of the other guys have. I like his voice but I love him. You’d have to have a heart of stone not to pull for this kid.   TODRICK HALL: “ What’s Love Got to Do With It” by Tina Turner Todrick mentioned that there’s nothing he can’t do because of race. Well, apparently that goes for gender, too, as he keeps picking songs made famous by females. And then he keeps butchering them. As Randy so greatly stated, “A great song doesn’t need a different wild arrangement ... Great is great. It just needs someone to sing it greatly.” I think that Todrick is trying to wow the judges the way that David Cook did with his rendition of “Hello” by Lionel Richie or even the way that fellow competitor Andrew Garcia did with “Straight Up.” Somehow, though, it’s just not translating. Hints for next week’s (unlikely) appearance: show off your dance moves and stay away from tunes that remind people of movies chronicling domestic abuse between famous people. Oh, and choose a great song and sing it. Greatly.   JERMAINE SELLERS: “What’s Going On” by Marvin Gaye The judges were exhausted by all of Jermaine’s vocal tricks and I was just bored. Once again, his cocky antics were more impressive than his actual performance. (Remember during Hollywood Week when he threw the band under the bus?) Yes, the segment where he modeled footie pajamas was cute but his comments about his relationship with God were worthy of an eye roll. “I know God,” he insisted. “I’m a God-fearing person. Without God, I know I would fail.” Way to campaign for the Bible Beater vote, Todrick! Unlike you, God is not exactly on my speed dial. But I “know” him well enough to be confident that he doesn’t give a holy flip about which contestants get voted off this week. (That’s not to say that we don’t care!)     ANDREW GARCIA: “You Give Me Something” by James Morrison Garcia’s version of “Straight Up” during Hollywood Week seems to be both a blessing and a curse, and the judges said as much. This goes to show again how important song selection and arrangement are, as Garcia’s voice is no better or worse than it has been in weeks past. Because they can’t get that clever Abdul cover out of their heads, the judges seem to be giving Garcia the opposite advice that they’re giving the other contestants. Instead of him “singing a great song greatly” they want the clever arrangements from him. I hope that he comes up with something inspired next week, as he may need to win more than anyone. After all, who’d wanna hire him with that neck tattoo?   AARON KELLY: “My Girl” by The Temptations I enjoy the country vibe to Kelly’s voice, but he doesn’t really seem to have that country personality. Perhaps he needs a pickup truck or something. (Wait, is he even old enough to drive?) I like the fact that Aaron took a popular song and didn’t change the melody too much; he just added a little more twang. His voice was shaky in spots and I can’t figure out whether it’s nerves, vibrato or the fact that he’s 16. Still, I’d like to hear more from him. He just needs to take Simon’s advice and believe in himself.    TIM URBAN: “Come on Get Higher” by Matt Nathanson Urban, like Todrick, seems to have a direct line to God as well, seeing as he’s still here. Nothing could be worse than the One Republic “Apologize” song from last week, but this was 100 times better. Do I think Urban will be the next American Idol? Absolutely not. But the fact that he is one of 10 children with two brothers in the military tells me that he’ll get the Mormon vote. Oh, and adding that he prayed before last week’s performance was a nice touch, too. Simon was much kinder to him this week and commended him for his work ethic and ability to listen to and apply the critiques. Still, I think that he should just stick to wearing baseball caps and seducing sorority girls with his guitar. Ellen, on the other hand, thinks he should join the cast of “Glee.”   LEE DEWYZE: “Lips of an Angel” by Hinder All the judges love Lee! I like him fine and, yes, I could hear his voice on the radio. But he is not, in my opinion, “head and shoulders above the rest,” as Simon claims. I also have a problem with comments like Ellen’s, saying that there were a “couple of pitch problems but it doesn’t matter.” Uh, yes, it does matter, Ellen! It is a singing competition, for Simon’s sake! She’s said similar things about other contestants -- that the singing was off but that it didn’t matter because people still like them or would vote for them anyway. Should we vote for Tim Urban, despite his “pitch problems?” I think not.   I think that while Urban probably deserves to go on Thursday, the teenage Mormon vote will save him. Park, Sellers and Hall are all on thin ice.