1. 2012 = BANG FOR YOUR BUCK

Roland Emmerich’s mega disaster mash-up does exactly what it says on the tin. His puree job of every end-of-the-world movie ever made – with big dollops of “Airport," “The Poseidon Adventure” and “Titanic” thrown in for good measure – is spectacular and a terrific popcorn entertainment. It’s also one of the best comedies of 2009, although it’s open to debate how intentional the laughs are.

http://www.empireonline.com.au/reviews/reviewcomplete.asp?FID=135843

Not sure about a TV series spin-off, though, unless it can star Tina Fey and Jeremy Piven.

2. WANT QUALITY? CALL ELIJAH WOOD “Counting The Stars”, a new report by Miller-McCune Online Magazine, has some interesting conclusions about which Hollywood stars fare the best with the critics. By analysing Metacritic reviews from the past 10 years, academic David Sparks has concluded that the movies of Elijah Wood rate better than anyone else’s, with an average rating of 75.3/100 for his works. Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Viggo Mortensen and Clint Eastwood were close behind. The lowest scores? Matthew Lillard, Eddie Griffin and Freddie Prinze Jr. I’m assuming they didn’t rank Michael Madsen’s movies. http://miller-mccune.com/culture_society/counting-the-stars-1553 3. EVIL DEAD TO RISE! I’ve said it just about every time that a remake is announced: if a filmmaker loves the original so much, why not re-release it? Happily, that’s what Sam Raimi is doing with his debut, 1981’s awesome “The Evil Dead”. The landmark horror will be hitting theaters in the US and Canada in a string of midnight screenings next year. Nice. 4. YOGI BEAR: THE MOVIE? Ouch. Maybe some midnight marathons of the corny old cartoon would be preferable to a live-action/CG animated version of “Yogi Bear." Anna Faris, Dan Aykroyd and Justin Timberlake are said to be starring in this adaptation, shooting in New Zealand next month, with “Journey To The Center Of The Earth” director Eric Brevig behind the camera. Faris is charming but her track record at choosing good comedies is terrible. As for her male co-stars, well think no further really than, say, “The Love Guru” and “Christmas With The Kranks”. And “Journey To The Centre Of The Earth” had all the heart and soul of a theme-park ride. So, sounds good! 5. CAN YOU DIG IT? “The Canyon” offers a simple premise, a couple of good-looking stars and a breathtaking natural backdrop. While I doubt it’ll make “Paranormal” money, it looks like a tense, realistic little thriller. 6. JIMCARREY.COM = NUTZO

Taken your meds today? Think Jim Carrey’s “Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind” was too clear-cut? Well, check out the actor’s website, which brings all sortsa crazy. http://jimcarrey.com/

                7. KICK ASS SHOW US ASS In a marketing move as unusual as Jim Carrey’s website, the first poster for “Kick Ass”, the Matthew Vaughn’s superhero comedy-adventure, offers no star names or even faces. Click here:  http://media.movies.ign.com/media/142/14276014/img_7294003.html for hi-res version.   8. ALBA & MACHETE

But here’s some much more traditional key art. Hey, it worked once for “Sin City”, right? Talk about knowing your market. The new Robert Rodriguez film “Machete” – based on the awesome fake trailer in “Grindhouse” – has its first Jessica Alba-heavy poster, which was found by www.comingsoon.net.

http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=60616   9. ANOTHER SIDE OF ALBA Whoa, check out the AFM promo trailer for Michael Winterbottom’s “The Killer Inside Me” for a darker – much darker – look at Jessica Alba. With Casey Affleck on truly sinister form, this looks like “Bad Deputy Sheriff” crossed with “No Country For Old Men”.

10. THE NEXT J.K. MEYER OR STEPHENIE ROWLING? Talk about a story to inspire struggling writers everywhere. An Australian mother of four, whose first novel made $100 and whose second novel was rejected by every publisher she sent it to, has now had her third book, “Beautiful Malice”, acclaimed as the next Harry Potter or Twilight. http://www.smh.com.au/news/entertainment/books/milliondollar-mum-hailed-as-new-jk-rowling/2009/11/06/1257247749015.html?autostart=1  

1. Halloween Now Creepier Than Ever

This week saw the DVD and Blu-ray release – after a long, long wait – of a neglected mid-1980s horror-comedy classic, Fred Dekker’s “Night Of The Creeps”. Dekker told me that the new disc version of his schlocker about zombie-making parasites from outer space comes complete with his original, darker ending.

An ending that calls for a sequel. Once you’re done a-trickin’ and a-treatin’, you could do worse than get some friends together and put this one on for a rollickin’ good time.

2. Be The Sheepmonster This Halloween

I also discovered “Godmonster Of Indian Flats” this week.

A true 1970s B-grade horror oddity, it’s much more bizarre than even this clip suggests. But, as a last-minute costume option, it’s pretty easy: add old car-seat covers or throw-rugs, stagger, roar, repeat.

3. Spider-Man and Batman Return: The Movie – Sequel!

The follow-up to the “The Lego Batman & Spider-man Movie” has dropped. Got a spare 10 minutes? You know you have. Then see if you can devise a superhero-in-Lego outfit in time for Halloween.

4. The Room Now A Bona Fide Hit!

Well, if the L.A. Times is putting it on the front page, it must be so.

One of Hollywood’s stranger denizens, Tommy Wiseau, has seen his 2003 flop turn into the biggest bad-movie sensation since Elizabeth Berkley pushed Gina Gershon down the stairs in “Showgirls”. Fair enough, too, because “The Room” is utterly nuts and well worth the pilgrimage to an audience participation romp. It’s perfect for Halloween. If you can’t get into a screening, grab the DVD and a bunch of friends.

Click here for screening details.

5. Midnight Madness Midwest Style

This Halloween, midwest fans of the original midnight movie with audience participation can relive their misspent youths with this stage production of “The Rocky Horror Show."

6. Drunk Ewoks On Today

If you think nothing could be funnier, furrier or weirder than Al Roker in a Han Solo wig, then stand by for drunk Ewoks on the rampage! Stick around through the boring start because the Endormania ramps up around the two-minute mark! “One of the Ewoks is drinking already” says Han-Al. (“And a happy 10235th birthday to Emperor Palpatine!” I wish Willard was on hand to say.)

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

7. Miller, Miller On The Wall… Is Tom Hardy The Maddest Max Of All?

Casting rumors about George Miller’s “Mad Max 4” continue to swirl. The initial reports assumed that it’d be Sam Worthington in the lead, until Miller said no decisions had been made. That was only 7 days ago. Now it’s being reported that the Aussie director has settled on British actor Tom Hardy – best known for “Bronson” and “Star Trek” – to take the lead, with “The Road”’s Charlize Theron co-starring. I’m saying this news, if true, is setting the cat among the pigeons, given that Miller earlier this week decried how Australian film talent fled their homeland’s productions to Hollywood during production lulls. Is he really going to cast a Brit in a homegrown blockbuster and an iconic Aussie role? Let me be the first to say I’ll believe it when I hear it from Miller’s mouth. Let me also say I still think it’ll be Sam Worthington who takes the role.

8. The Road On The Road To Oscars?

I caught “The Road” this week and it’s powerful, powerful stuff. Despite the first trailer, which the Weinsteins filled with stock/news footage to sell it as a kinda “2012”, the second trailer, released this week, is a more truthful reflection of what is a faithful adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel. Viggo Mortensen’s intensity is a lesson for Christian Bale in how not to overplay, while Aussie kid Kodi Smit-McPhee is a natural as the frightened little boy who knows nothing other than the post-apocalypse. Charlize Theron, meanwhile, is all sorts of heartbreaking. Australian director John Hillcoat’s vision of this world is hellish and immersive and terrifying. Fans of the book won’t be disappointed, but the book itself was so heavy it might actually put people off reliving it. Regardless, I’m saying this might just sneak in with a Best Picture nomination.

9. Bad Lieutenant Will Come Out To Play

For a brief distressing moment this week it looked like Nic Cage and Werner Herzog’s nutjob reboot of “Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans” might be going straight to the “Crazy WTF” shelf at your local Blockbuster. Happily, website The Playlist got the lowdown on the theatrical roll-out. The recent trailer’s pretty conventional

at least until the appearance of those drug-hallucination iguanas and dancing-soul comments.

10. Woody Allen’s “Untitled 2049 Film Project” Greenlit.

Ripped from the headlines! His muse should drop around 2032!

1. Rockwell for Oscar
If you’ve seen “Moon,” you know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t, you should and then you will. Rockwell’s lunar performance is stellar in one of the best-reviewed films of the year. Writer-director Duncan Jones, the man behind this sci-fi masterpiece -- which is all the more welcome for having emerged in a year of giant effin’ robots and salivating terminal cases -- has thrown his weight behind a grassroots campaign to get Rockwell Oscar-nominated. “If you stare at the graphic we’ve done up for a while, you kinda get hypnotized,” he laughed this week. “You can hear the voice, ‘Vote Sam.’” Sign the petition and pay it forward. Do it for Sam.   2. Six Sick Sequels! Nine Wimpwolves!
As you stumble out of the megalplex reeling from “Saw VI,” take some consolation in the fact it’s not the worst sixth installment ever. Here are six sixths that’re worse (maybe). And if you thought the glimpse of werewolf -- ooops, sorry, Twi-people, “shapeshifter” -- from “New Moon” was a LOL lyncanthropic moment, then try these nine lame werewolves on for measure.   3. Dexter: The Cartoon
And if you really don’t like your kids, then sit them down in front of the computer for an episode of the new animated web series “Dexter: Early Cuts.” Reminds me of that awesome time Charlie Manson did a cameo on “Scooby-Doo”… See the webisodes here.      4. Whatchoo Talkin’ ‘Bout … Killin’, Willis?
Next up, Dexter becomes a comedian? Well, close. Gamedaily reports that Bruce Willis has signed on to star in vid-game adaptation “Kane & Lynch,” which is a buddy movie … about stone-cold sociopathic killers! Fun! Producer Adrian Askarieh, who brought us the warm ‘n’ fuzzy “Hitman,” told the site, “it's essentially the story of a mercenary teaming up with a schizophrenic psychopath to save his wife and daughter.” Awesome! Reminds me of the time Larry Appleton and Balki Bartokokomous went on that roadtrip and killed a hitchhiker in season two of “Perfect Strangers.”

5. Bronson: Fear Him!
Speaking of Serge from “Beverly Hills Cop,” Bronson Pinchot this week gave one of those rare interviews in which Hollywood politesse, obfuscation and, well, self-preservation seems to take a back seat to dishing the dirt.

6. Hmmm, Entrails!
If your little Padawan loved the Tauntaun sleeping bag, then celebrate his or her next birthday with this awesome cake. Watch as all the six-year-old Jedis squabble over who gets the biggest loop of delicious intestine!  

7. The Next Paranormal Activity?
Drab suburban setting? Yes! Shaky videocam? Check! Mounting horror building up to a shattering climax? Um, maybe … If you plan on, like, getting totally baked this weekend, dude, then you might think again after the trailer for “Evil Weed.”  

  8. Spend Big, Make Big!
“Paranormal Activity,” whose screen average last weekend was insane, is fast headed towards being the most profitable movie ever made. But how could it have been more of a money-spinner? Oh, yes, if the price tag had been measured in the hundreds of millions, rather than the tens of thousands. TheWrap reports on an SNL Kagan study that concludes movies costing more than $100M make the most money. I especially like this: The least profitable of the 10 genres listed in the study were horror pics, with an average domestic gross of $33 million and an average net profit of $17.9 million, and thrillers, with an average domestic gross of $40 million and an average net profit of $13.7 million.   9. Best T-Shirt Ever?
Well, definitely the coolest T-shirt for Halloween. It even has a Michael Jackson “Easter Egg” -- a little zombie done up like the late singer as we saw him in “Thriller."   10. Michael Jackson Will Just Keep On Coming Back
If you thought that after “This Is It” raked in a couple hundred million bucks in the next couple weeks (the Halloween timing for this grisly spectacle couldn’t be more appropriate) that Michael Jackson might finally rest in peace, think again. In an interview with Cinemablend, director Kenny Ortega and producer Travis Payne reveals that “This Is It” won’t be it at all. “Ortega also revealed that there may be a 3D re-release of "Michael Jackson’s This Is it" later on, including the revamped music videos that were originally to be broadcast during the concerts in 3D. "Later down the line there may be an opportunity for us to do some special 3D package," Ortega hinted. But that's not nearly as elaborate as how the videos were originally intended to be shown. The plan was to have the audience members don 3D glasses in the middle of the concert, but it was going to be much more than just 3D screens in the corner. As Payne explained it to me, "We had 3D and also frontal elements and overhead elements that actually created a 4D environment that the audience was sitting in.” The whole 4D thing isn’t as dumb as it sounds -- the fourth dimension isn’t actually time, after all -- but can’t we just let it be?

1. Forget Balloon Boy! Here’s Paraglider Girl!
Balloon Boy – yawn – so, like, yesterday. Paragliders are the new balloons. Girls are the new boys. Ten years old is totally the new six. 

    2. The Green Lantern Up From Down Under
No, say it isn’t so! The weakening US dollar and the strengthening Aussie drongo (only kidding, we also use dollars, just prettier ones) has meant that the crusader caper won’t be shooting in Sydney anymore. Boo! Well, let’s just see how Hollywood likes it when the Down Under Dollar gets so strong it’s actually cheaper to shoot in America than at home! Yes, that’s right, expect studio lots to soon be filled with angsty Australian kitchen-sink auteurs whose projects just happen to now feature a lot of bargain-basement priced A-listers and yard-sale discounted CGI.   3. "Daybreakers" Poster a Bust
The key art for Aussie brothers the Spierigs’ futuristic vampire flick “Daybreakers” has been doing the rounds this week, to generally thumbs-up reaction. Gotta say I disagree. Is this “Pandorum”? “The Matrix”? “Event Horizon”? I can understand in a crowded fang-tasy film market, that you might want to add more than just vampires, but this comes off as neither fish nor fowl.   4. Japanese Put Down Under on Top
The Japanese know how to do it. Behold the creepy-as-hell local art for “The Descent 2.” Now that’s horror.   5. Dolemite, Baby!
With “Black Dynamite” in the house this weekend, it’s a good time to celebrate all things Blaxploitation – and none moreso than “Godfather Of Rap,” Rudy Ray Moore. It’s the first anniversary of his passing on Monday so, after you’ve seen “Black Dynamite,” why not track down his 1975 bad-movie classic “Dolemite” and throw a house party?   6. Where Were You When the Death Star Fell?
Me, I was seven, and life changed forever after that. For these Stormtroopers, the first anniversary’s a more recent and more haunting affair. College Humor’s comic hit-rate it terrific, but this one’s cleverer than most.   7. Michael Jackson to Bust All Records?
AEG is claiming – and one suspects that Fandango pre-sales and other tracking have solidly underwritten this boast – that “This Is It” will gross $250m in its first five days, shattering all box-office records. A big part of me hopes it’s not true because the “He was our partner in life, now he’s our partner in death” stuff from the company is as gross and ghoulish as the whole enterprise. But if it is, what does that say about us as a society? That we’ll pay to turn the cinema into a global funeral event? That a hundred million people who’d all but forgotten Jackson now worship him simply because he’s dead?   8. The 100 Sexiest, Empire-Magazine Style
You know what you’re in for when Maxim or EW or People roll out their sexiest list. But British movie magazine Empire (full disclosure: I work for its Australian version) has gotten in on the act. When I saw Rosario Dawson was at number 50 in the ladies’ category, I thought, Wowza, number one’s gonna be The Hotness. And she is, but it’s kinda predictable. Dude-wise, it’s a choice to make you say, Arrrrrh.
  9. S--- My Dad Says: The Movie
Has there been a movie based on a Twitter personality yet? Ashton Kutcher’s “Spread” don’t count, folks. But this simple series of hilariously profane Tweets that record what Justin’s 73-year-old uber-grump of a father has to say about life, the universe and everything practically begs for a hard-R movie adaptation. With many of the greats – De Niro, Pacino, Hoffman, et al – either in their seventies, or within spitting distance – there’d be a cue to see who could cuss and grumble the best.   Samples:   "Remember how you used to make fun of me for being bald?...No, I'm not gonna make a joke. I'll let your mirror do that."   "You're being f--king dramatic. You own a TV and an air mattress. That's not exactly what I'd call ‘a lot to lose.’”   "I'm sitting in one of those TGI Friday's places, and everyone looks like they want to shove a shotgun in their mouth."
  10. Spacesick Will Make You Feel Better
These are beautiful, an imagined series of 1960s novelization covers based on classic and not-so classic movies, with design influenced by Saul Bass and other minimalist-symbolic artists who’ve rocked the key-art world.  

1. The Last Passport … to Hilarity!
Here’s the YouTube tag: “’The Last Passport’ is about a 70-year-old gentleman who spends a mysterious day in the passport office …” Sounds dull, right? But check the trailer! It’s funnier than, well, anything else I’ve seen this week. “Life is like a record, spinning!” Tommy Wiseau, you have some competition!

  2. A Plush Toy That Hugs You Wrong
Several months ago, I highlighted ThinkGeek’s cute-as-a-button Taun-Taun sleeping bag for little fans of “The Empire Strikes Back.” Now comes their soft toy of an entirely different disposition. Give this one to that annoying nephew or niece. Or perhaps don it yourself for Halloween when you answer the door.
  3. Neil Marshall’s Bursting Back Into Horror
“The Descent” was such a wickedly good exercise in horror suspense that it’s made me very fond of writer-director Neil Marshall. That I still feel this way about him after his diabolically bad Mad-Maxsploitation rip-off “Doomsday” is testament to the strength of his girls-in-a-cave flick. So let’s hope the horror he’s just signed on for -- “Burst” -- sees Marshall return to form. Produced by Ghost House Pictures, the shingle of Sam Raimi and Bob Tapert, it’s about a bunch of folks who’re trapped in a blizzard and stalked by a supernatural force that makes them spontaneously combust – in 3D.   4. Guitar Hero Product Placement: Doesn’t Rock
First we had “Funny People” grind to a halt so that Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow could incorporate a MySpace launch party and lots of MySpace references into dialogue in what was an egregious movie-as-marketing exercise. Now “Couples Retreat” slams on the brakes to include Vince Vaughn playing a plot-crucial game of Guitar Hero while Jon Favreau and Co. watch on appreciatively. Man, why not just have your leading men wear a BRAND X T-shirt through the whole movie and be done with it? What’s next? Woody Allen grappling with existential angst while slamming Red Bull?   5. Where It All Began for Sarah Silverman
Sometimes environments breed comic genius. And this week, in a Twitpic post she labeled, “This is a game I like to call 'Find the Jew,'” Sarah Silverman provided a typically funny insight into her very funny psyche.   6. Where It All Begins Each Day for Arnold Schwarzenegger
Not sure if this is funny or terrifying or both.   7. Oh My God, They Killed Credibility!
“I decided to go around the world and ask people what they think,’” says director Peter Rodger in the intro to the trailer for his movie “Oh My God.” How weird that his first interviewee turned out to be Wolverine! And then, Bob Geldof! Also featured -- Seal, Ringo Starr, David Copperfield. Um, no offence, and this looks like it does take in a wide pool of ordinary folk, but is the only way to promote your movie about His/Her Existence/Otherwise to rope in the guy who sang “Crazy” and some dude who does magic tricks and squires supermodels? Here’s hoping Paris Hilton wasn’t left out. Like, oh my God.   8. Aussie Blackface: The Sequel
Aussie TV show “Hey Hey It’s Saturday” blundered big time this week when its “talent” act the Jackson Jive appeared in black-face. It was up to unamused guest judge Harry Connick Jr. to point out to the clueless host Daryl Somers why such a “joke” was deeply offensive. In the wake of the international disbelief that a skit so stupid and ignorant could make it to airwaves in 2009, expect some nerves at Australian broadcaster ABC-TV in the coming weeks. That’s because on Oct. 28 they are broadcasting an episode of a TV series called “Safran’s Race Relations” in which the show’s white Jewish-Australian host John Safran dons full-body make-up to become an African-American -- in Obama’s home city of Chicago. Safran is an amazingly talented, smart and fearless satirist but even he must be wondering what sort of controversy this will kick up.   9. Let’s Do the Opposite of “Opposite Day”
Disney is developing “Opposite Day” in which -- stop me if you’ve heard this one before -- “a corporate hatchet man who wakes up one morning and finds he must follow the exact opposite of his normal routine.” High-concept comedy, right? It’ll no doubt be as anodyne and banal as “17 Again” or “Liar Liar” or “Yes Man” or any other such PG-13 pabulum. So, let’s see, the nasty corporate schmuck has to start being nice to the underlings he usually stomps on, then he rallies the redundant victims of his cost-cutting and takes on The Man, then he falls in love with Zooey Deschanel. The End. As we’ve seen “Opposite Day” a thousand times already, why not instead make a film version of this. You know, for adults?   10. “Short Circuit” Remake Trailer!
Well, kinda.  

   

1. The History of Roller Movies Goes Way Beyond “Whip It”
From James Caan skating for his life in “Rollerball” to Raquel Welch doing similar knock ‘em down duties in “Kansas City Bomber,” movies about people on eight wheels have a rich and varied history. Charlie Chaplin got his skates on not only in “Modern Times” but also 20 years earlier in “The Rink” while Missy Piggy took out a mugger on borrowed wheels in “Muppets Take Manhattan.” And there are many, many more. Referring to one’s own article is self-indulgent? True, but sometimes that’s just how I, er, roll.   2. Zombies And Theme Parks – Been There!
This week’s “Zombieland” sees kids and Woody Harrelson splitting undead heads in a theme park in post-zombie apocalypse. You’d think as a subject it might be a total original. Well, not entirely. I found that 1988’s Aussie movie “Zombie Brigade” combined the two – a proposed theme park development and reanimated Australian soldiers. And it threw in vampirism for good measure! Referring to one’s own article is self indulgent? True, but sometimes they come back.   3. Megan Fox Is a Bimbo! Megan Fox Is a Good Sport!
In a video shoot for “Esquire” we see a day in the life of Megan Fox. Which involves lolling around in next to nothing, drinking beer, before a little narcissism and then heading out to party. Much better is this awesome interview that subverts such expectations. Megan Fox with a bag on her head? Funniest thing I’ve seen her do. Apart from some of that “Transformers: Revenge Of Fallen” dialogue of course.     4. Doc Brown And The Terminator
“Terminator: Salvation” was another one of this year’s missed opportunities for great sci-fi. Happily, the folks at www.howitshouldhaveended.com have come up with a much more satisfying conclusion to the series -- which incorporates Doc Brown, Marty McFly and the gang from “Back to the Future.” It’s very clever, somehow fits together and is based on a sound knowledge of the conundrum at the heart of “Terminator” -- all things that McG could not claim.     5. “Blair Witch Re-Projected”
Wow, it is kinda amazing that “The Blair Witch Project” wasn’t “rebooted” for its 10th anniversary this year. But now, perhaps as a result of the growing buzz for spiritual successor “Paranormal Activity,” a “Blair Witch” sequel is apparently in the works. So says BloodyDisgusting in a cryptic announcement declaring such a, er, project is to be greenlit soon. We already had the diabolical “Book Of Shadows” sequel to “Witch,” which we didn’t need. And how much of a sequel can it be? Are we gonna bring back the annoying bickering trio? Will the girl wipe her nose this time?   6. David Lynch Is Working This Weekend!
“This weekend I will be working on a gun, two red gloves, and a girl in a window” says his Tweet of a few hours ago. So, a painting? An installation? Has he taken to window dressing a guns-for-ladies store in Alaska? Still, good that he’s getting to work, because he has spent a lot of time this week contemplating his fish – and its deficiencies. To wit, or at least, to tweet: “My fish can't swim like a fish, but it stinks like a fish.” Thanks, http://twitter.com/DAVID_LYNCH   7. “Nightmare” May Be Just That.
There are four words scarier than “From producer Michael Bay,”* so we can we can thankful for small mercies when it comes to the “Nightmare on Elm Street” reboot. This -- yawn -- provides that essential back-story for Freddie Krueger blah blah that we didn’t get simply from revealing dialogue in the original. Just what is it with Jackie Earle Haley and child abuse? He was the offender in “Little Children,” the avenger in “Watchmen” and now he’s kinda both here. It’s only a matter of time before the YouTube mash-up of Haley’s greatest hits.   *”A Michael Bay Film”   8. Driving Us Crazies
In this week’s other four menacing metal spikes news, there’s this trailer for the remake of George A. Romero’s neglected chiller “The Crazies” -- which concludes with a pitchfork dragged menacingly. It doesn’t look terrible, but the insane townsfolk look -- snore -- like they’re straying over into zombie-ism. And why didn’t they use “From the director of Sahara” to promote Breck Eisner being in charge? And let’s not ignore the Olyphant in the room -- that “Mad World” the song is owned by “Donnie Darko” the movie and using it here just makes you yearn for some smart, original sci-fi thrills.  

  9. "2012" Brings the Ruckus -- and Some Cusack Magic
A two-minute clip from “2012” this week was apparently seen by 110 million Americans when it screened on every TV in America simultaneously … just like a real emergency broadcast! “California is going down!” might just be the best John Cusack line since “I mean I could be some crazed slime ball. I mean a real deranged, violent psycho. You know what I mean? I mean a guy who would rip out your heart and eat it.”   10. Kodi Smit-McPhee
“Let Me In” sounds to me like a totally unnecessary remake of last year’s brilliant Swedish horror-drama “Let the Right One In.” But if they’re gonna do it, I’m glad they’ve cast Aussie boy wonder Kodi Smit-McPhee in the lead. He was a knockout in his screen debut, Eric Bana’s directing bow, “Romulus, My Father,” and has nothing but rave reviews for “The Road.” I interviewed him a few months back on the set of his latest, “Matching Jack,” and he’s smart, thoughtful and has his head screwed on right. He will be a big star, methinks.

1. Warhol Did It, Why Not Cronenberg?
David Cronenberg is going to remake his remake of “The Fly." He’s done it as an opera, so why not? Andy Warhol’s pop art was often based around replication, so it might make sense. Rather than release the new version of “The Fly” to cinemas though, why not screen it at art galleries alongside the other two screen treatments? And leave a space blank where people upload their own versions/commentaries?   2. Now’s Not The Time For The Demon-Girl Script
First, “Drag Me to Hell," the best multiplex horror film of the year. Then “Jennifer’s Body," which scrapes in a close second. Their box office fate? Fire and brimstone. God -- or the His/Her opposite number -- knows why. Sam Raimi’s effort enjoyed stellar reviews. And, oddly, so did “Jennifer’s Body," despite what you’ve heard. Cruise over to Rotten Tomatoes and see that you could easily have done a full-page ad boasting the biggest names and publications all in favor of Diablo, Karyn, Megan and Amanda’s grrrrl flick. Maybe that was the problem. Too many boys with broadband in too many basements, all of whom hate Diablo because she did what they want to do and Megan because, well, you know …   3. The Creator Hath Spoken
Jon Cryer gets an Emmy for "Two and a Half Men." Sydney enveloped in a dust storm that has one tabloid using the headline you never thought you’d live to see: “Doomsday." Coincidence? Surely not.   4. Corman at the Oscars!
The Oscar race is still warming up. But we know one winner! Roger Corman. The octogenarian veteran of B-grade schlock is to get his montage and his statuette next year. And what a montage it’ll be. AMPAS, call me if you want some choice comments on "Teen-Age Caveman" or 'Battle Beyond the Stars." Actually, in terms of testimonials, there’ll be no shortage of big names to testify how he gave them their start in the pictures. But before the Scorsese, Coppola, De Palma, et al, accolades, how about a musical number dramatising everything beyond "Little Shop of Horrors"? Adam Shankman?
5. A.J. Jacobs Bests Stephen Colbert?
Okay, a little off topic, but the journalist-author scored a modest triumph with Colbert this week in that it’s rare to see the interviewer bested as he shakes the hand of his guest. Colbert asked for radical honesty and he got it: the unassuming author of "The Guinea Pig Diaries" told him he was a little disappointed he got the small green room while Michael Moore was afforded the bigger guest space. On this score, Hollywood, where are the film adaptations of "The Know-It All" or "My Year of Living Biblically"? Just don’t -- unless you’re really, really sure -- cast Steve Carrell before a script is written. Or maybe just don’t.   6. Corey Haim Is the Comedian?
"Lost Boys Part Troix" is going before the cameras soon. It’s coloned: Thirst, as in “The Lost Boys: Thirst." That sounds vampirey enough, I s’pose. “Thirstlight” might ship a few more discs and downloads. But why does the promo still doing the rounds look like Corey Haim is practising his "Jack Black Is the Comedian" for Halloween?   7. III-D, IV, What Are We Caring For?
Hands down, the most depressing story on TheWrap this week: “Bob Weinstein has unveiled several films to be released by Dimension over the next year, many in 3D. 

'Scream IV' will start production in April or May as the first of a new trilogy and the company is talking to Wes Craven to direct, Weinstein reports. Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox and David Arquette will star.

 Robert Rodriguez is writing 'Spy Kids IV,' which he will direct in 3D. The movie will be made in partnership with Disney and will start shooting in March 2010, Weinstein said. 

In addition, the company wants to shoot 'Halloween III' in 3D, aiming to release it in October 2010."   8. Whoever Wins, Genre Loses?
I’m not sure I can recall a more meh weekend. “Surrogates," a sci-fi that seems beamed from 1998, versus “Pandorum," which might’ve been tossed off at around the same time. Didn’t we already see these on Starz? Or not see them because they sounded like, um, we’d seen them. And which one is Bruce Willis’ wig in anyway? Maybe this is where “Jennifer’s Body” makes the fastest-ever move from box-office flop to cult-film revival? If you haven’t seen it, you really should.
9. "What Car Do I Need That Can Become a Character in the Movie?"
Oh, sorry, I said that Bob Weinstein’s slate of threes and fours in 3D was the most depressing story of the week? Well, take it away Brett Ratner! I s’pose you’re only saying what everyone else thinks and does.

10. Michael Madsen Is Back! And He Might Win the Oscar!
A billion film festival entries! Awards from people you’ve never heard of! People love it better (or as much as) than “Slumdog Millionaire”! And the supporting cast!      

1. "Plan 9.1" May Be Worth a Look
The “Plan 9” remake trailer wasn’t anything like anyone expected. While the radio playing Criswell’s legenday “future” speech was a throwback to the 1959 anti-classic, this week’s clip looked more like Zack Snyder than anything Ed Wood did.

2. "Plan 9.0" Still Going Strong After 50 Years
Meanwhile, the original is still packing them in at cinemas across the country, albeit with live comic commentary from the Mystery Science wags at RiffTrax. An encore performance has been scheduled for October 8. Info here.

3. Variety Likes to Kill the “Dead”
The first review for George A. Romero’s “Survival of the Dead” -- premiering this weekend at Toronto -- came from Variety. They didn’t like it at all. (Full disclosure: I’m friendly with Mr. Romero and did a cameo as one of his zombies, so I’m somewhat biased and hope it’s good.) I thought it’d be interesting to see what the trade paper had to say about the original, “Night of the Living Dead," now recognized as a classic, on its initial release just over 40 years ago. “Although pic's basic premise is repellent -- recently dead bodies are resurrected and begin killing human beings in order to eat their flesh -- it is in execution that the film distastefully excels,” the review read, before reciting a litany of gore and noting “a climax of unparalleled nausea." The review continued: “The rest of the pic is amateurism of the first order. Pittsburgh-based director George A. Romero appears incapable of contriving a single graceful set-up, and his cast is uniformly poor.”

4. Eli Roth Kisses the Snake
Last week I told you Eli Roth was doing a PETA commercial. Here are the results, and they’re more romantic than anyone might expect.

5. Josh Olson Will Not Read Your F---ing Script
In the Village Voice, screenwriter John Olson, Oscar-nominated for his adaptation of “A History of Violence”, told everyone that under no circumstances would he read their f---ing script. (Damn, I wish I could recall that DHL courier!) Olson made many reasonable points, but I have a question: Did he ever himself make such a “dick move” in the decades he spent working below-the-line in Hollywood? How would you not, working with Dolph Lundgren on 1987’s “Masters of the Universe”?

6. Antichrist Superstar
Now here’s a poster you can’t help but notice. Australia’s key-art wizard Jeremy Saunders tells me that his appropriately controversial design for Lars Von Trier’s controversial horror film has already had some of his fellow Aussies apologizing to the world on his behalf. As for how he came up with it, Saunders says: “Well, it's taking the one thing that everyone knows about ‘Antichrist’ and using that as a sell. I got called on Friday morning by Andrew Mackie at [distribution company] Transmission and he knew I was going on holiday the next day. He just said: 'We want something, you know, Polish'.” Saunders laughs. “Which is the kind of direction you dream of. The design took me about an hour and a half and then I got a bit excited and tingly about the whole thing and had to go for a walk. Then I got on a plane and went on holiday and two days later it's all over the internet.” Check out Saunders’ other designs, used and otherwise.

7. Manilow Mania? More Like Barry, Actually
I’m pretty sure that before today the names Michael Stipe, Tom Hanks and Barry Manilow have never been uttered in the same sentence. But now the REM frontman’s Single Cell company have joined forces with Tom Hanks’ Playtone to make a romantic comedy that’s based on the songs of the feathery-haired crooner. Supposedly, it will be less “Mamma Mia” (the characters won’t burst into song) and more “Love, Actually” (Manilow fans arrive in Vegas to see his show and their stories intersect). Either way, it sounds more gruesome than “Sorority Row." But let the title-guessing games begin! “Mandy”? Too specific. “Weekend In New England”? Kinda counterproductive. “Copacabana”? There’s a Copa Cabana Grill in Vegas but I think the Hilton, where Manilow has headlined since ’05, might not appreciate that. “Can’t Smile Without You”? Ah, as Colonel Landa might say, “That’s a bingo.”

8. Disney and Del Toro Double Dare Us
I’m more excited by this than by Disney swallowing Marvel. Guillermo del Toro, man behind the awesome “Pan’s Labyrinth” and “The Devil’s Backbone” and the upcoming “The Hobbit,"has teamed up with the Mouse House to create a label called Disney Double Dare You. Their remit is to “create new animated films full of chills and thrills for audiences of all ages."

9. Fight Smack in "The Orphanage"
This is a real problem, folks. Be aware. Make a difference. Join FSITO today.

10. "Pirates 4" Gets Stranger
Okay, so the next “Pirates of the Carribbean” movie has the subtitle “On Stranger Tides." The web is awash, me hearties, with speculation that Disney is adapting a 1987 novel of the same name, which is about a puppeteer bound for Jamaica who’s forced to become a pirate and is whisked away to dreamlike lands where the Fountain of Youth awaits. Just so long as they improve on “Pirates 3," which sucked harder than a CGI whirlpool. Two resonant anagrams of “On Stranger Tides” to describe how I felt about the franchise after the last effort -- “Dearness rotting," “Restated snoring."