It’s tough being the United States these days, what with the aerial attacks and phone surveillance we’ve been juggling.
Jon Stewart took a look at the bastion of democracy’s deteriorating relationships with foreign governments around the globe on Thursday’s edition of “The Daily Show.”
He began with Pakistan, where human rights groups have slammed the collateral damage from the U.S. government’s use of unmanned drone strikes to go after foreign terrorists in the country. It turns out Pakistan is not a fan of the bombings in its borders either.
“Oh I’m sorry Pakistan, I didn’t know you didn’t like your citizens being sky-sassinated on the whims of a foreign superpower,” Stewart said. “We thought you were cool.”
Then it was on to France, where La Monde reported the National Security Agency tracked the telephone calls of millions of the European country’s citizens. Again, the French were not digging it.
As Stewart noted, the revelations prompted U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry to tell the press that the government is reviewing the way it gathers intelligence.
“By reviewing the way we gather intelligence, we mean from now on we’re going to try doing it secretly,” Stewart helpfully translated.
But wait…there’s more outrage. This week, German Chancellor Angela Merkel contacted President Barack Obama and demanded that the U.S. stop tapping her phone.
In response, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said the U.S. is not monitoring and will not monitor the German leader’s calls. As Stewart noted, there’s something a little off about that statement.
“‘Is not monitoring,’ ‘will not monitor,’ I think you’re missing a tense there,” Stewart joked. “You got your present progressive there and you got your simple future, but you’re missing your past progressive, a.k.a. the ‘we were not.'”
“By the way that joke brought to you by grammar,” he added.
Watch the video: