12 of the Funniest Lines From the Hollywood Film Awards – Julia Roberts, Robert Downey Jr., Jared Leto and More

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A dirty dozen of nuggets from Monday night’s gala

The Hollywood Film Awards held its 17th annual gala on Monday night, honoring the writers, directors and actors who’ve excelled on the big screen this year.

Below, TheWrap compiles the 12 best utterances delivered on stage at the Beverly Hilton hotel.

“Yes, I know; it’s not Neil Patrick Harris. I admit it, I’m disappointed too.” — Hollywood Film Awards Host Nancy O’Dell, on the fact that she’s not America’s most ubiquitous entetainment-awards host

Also read: With Hollywood Film Awards, the Silly Season Has Arrived

“What I really want to do is thank the actors, because without them, the script was really weak.” — Ethan Hawke, accepting the Hollywood Screenwriter Award with Julie Delpy and Richard Linklater for “Before Midnight”

“I started chasing experiences in the roles I’ve been taking … I lost money for the first time in my career over the last two years, but I did have fun.” — Matthew McConaughey, accepting the Hollywood Actor Award

Also read: What Kanye West Told Hollywood’s A-List Just Hours Before Proposing to Kim Kardashian

“I could watch her eat for hours on end, even if the food gets stuck in her teeth. I want her to make an eating movie, in 3D.” — Sean Penn, introducing Hollywood Supporting Actress Award honoree Julia Roberts

“Well Jesus, how the fuck do I say anything after that?” — Julia Roberts, following her introduction

“Jared pulled out the stops for ‘Chapter 27,’ a film that 27 people saw.” — Robert Downey Jr., introducing Jared Leto

“It’s crazy what happens when people find out you look great in a skirt — you get invited to all the cool parties.” — Hollywood Breakout Performance Award winner Leto, on his “Dallas Buyers Club” role

“He is a great fucking guy — I just found out that this is not on TV, so we can curse.” — Bruce Willis, introducing Hollywood Legend Award winner Jerry Weintraub

“I’m not gonna take long, because I want a vodka, and I haven’t had one in 12 minutes.” — Weintraub, on the importance of brevity in acceptance speecher

“How ya doin’? I’m Penny’s brother.” — Garry Marshall, presenting the Hollywood Ensemble Award for “August: Osage County”

“I hate that picture; I’m going to fire Bebe Lerner from ID PR because I look like I’m on crack.” — Hollywood Director Award recipient Lee Daniels, on the choice of photo used for his presentation

“Sit down, so they can continue serving drinks.” — Hollywood Career Achievement Award recipient Harrison Ford, after being greeted with a standing ovation