Hey CAA, Ari Emanuel Wants to Do It With You (updated)

So apparently the new Emperor of Hollywood, WME agent-in-chief Ari Emanuel, was invited to address the top editors at Variety the other day. (Update: It was early June.)

It was an opportunity extended by his friend, former top editor Peter Bart, to reintroduce himself to the trade paper as something other than a trash-talking agent. To cast himself in a new, more statesmanlike role as a top power broker in town.

So he seized the opportunity to redefine himself by starting the meeting this way:

“My goal in life,” he said, “is to f--- CAA.” (Update: someone else in the room says that Ari didn't use the F-word. But that's so much less fun.)

I heard this story, quite appropriately, at the premiere for the new season of HBO’s “Entourage.” That was just perfect because Ari is the inspiration and model for the most colorful character on the show, Ari Gold, played with necessary vitriol by Jeremy Piven.

In the first two episodes, Ari finds himself cornered by his assistant who wants a promotion after three long years of service (abuse). So Ari finally instructs the assistant, Lloyd, to show up at his house at 10 pm, sit on the stoop and wait. He is made to wait until Ari gets out of bed at 1:30 am, goes outside and instructs Lloyd that he’ll need to suffer for another 100 days – and lose 20 pounds.

No matter how realistic that sounds, I just don’t know if that story is based in reality. But there is no shortage of Ari stories running around town. Like that he chose not to go to Herb Allen’s Sun Valley media moguls retreat so as to avoid seeing Jim Wiatt, his supposed partner in the WMA/Endeavor merger.

Amusing. Or sad. Meanwhile, Emanuel stood off the side of the red carpet on Thursday night, surrounded by his Italian-suited, agent-Ari mini-mes.

By the looks of things, he hasn’t lost any of the frat boy energy that gave rise to Endeavor and his current reputation.

But then, we definitely plan to give him a chance. He’s promised to go to lunch with me. As long as I promise to pay.