Talk show host is considering runs for Senate, White House.
Hef and His New 'Girls'
“The Girls Next Door” has always been the television equivalent of candy -- fluffy and sweet and full of empty calories. But last night’s premiere with the “new” girls left me feeling like I should cut down on my sugar intake.
I mean, what is a reality show anyway? Inherently, it should be an unscripted, uncontrived documentation of a person’s life -- you know, like “The Hills.”
But there seems to be nothing spontaneous or original about this season of “The Girls Next Door.” For one thing, it’s the same plot with different hussies. There’s the “number one” girlfriend, Crystal, whose dad died when she was 12. (That explains a lot.) She claims that she is not the “new Holly” but that Holly, in fact, is the “old Crystal.”
Semantics. They still seem like the same person to me.
Taking over Kendra’s role as the “mischievous” one(s) are twins Kristina and Karessa, 19-year-olds with a criminal record from (where else?) Florida. Hef has trouble telling them apart -- how cute. Is it because they’re twins or because he’s an octogenarian?
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed the show when Holly, Bridget and Kendra were featured. Those of us who were brunettes and redheads finally got the chance to see what the inside of the Mansion looked like.
But we never got to see the real drama.
What makes celebrity reality shows so compelling is their ability to show the personality behind the persona, whether that’s what they intended or not. Take the shining examples of “Being Bobby Brown,” “Hey! Paula,” and even “The Surreal Life” or “Celebrity Apprentice.” You get a sense of who these people really are, ugly or not.
This is something that we’ve never had with “GND.” Heck, even “DWTS” fits in more pathos (between all its Disney plugs)! Sure, it’s great that you’re redoing the pool house, Holly. And I’m really glad you’re learning the trapeze, Bridget.
But who are these girls and this man, Hugh Hefner, when the cameras are off?
I want to see the jealousy that comes with sharing a (boy?)friend! I want to see the disgust that comes with dating a senior citizen! And the show has never tackled the one question that’s on everyone’s mind: What happens in the bedroom? (BTW, for an in-depth probe into that topic I recommend the memoir “Bunny Tales” by former girlfriend Izabella St. James.)
Stop trying to make us believe that they’re all in some sort of normal relationship! I suppose they are committed to each other in some sense, as there are, no doubt, contracts involved that set the girls up with the television show, a couple of Playboy covers and a hefty allowance until their stint is over.
But don’t try to fool us into believing that these opportunistic, ahem, ladies are not seeing other men on the side. Did anyone else think it was weird when Kendra broke up with Hef to get engaged to another man?
I’m not a prude. I love my sextastic reality fare, like “Real Sex,” “Cathouse” and “Pornucopia.” But these shows don’t sell us sex under the guise of being in a committed relationship, the way that “GND” does. Another thing they don’t do is pose as family entertainment.
Maybe it’s my Catholic upbringing, but I just don’t see how this show is appropriate for kids. Apparently, the cheese stands alone on this one, though, as a scene from last night’s premiere had mothers bringing their daughters and sons (armed with their own Playboy issues) to Karissa and Kristina’s autograph signing session. not normal, at least not where I come from.
No, I am not bitter or jealous. I’m sure that I, too, could have an 82-year-old suitor if I really set my mind to it. I think it just makes me feel sorry for Hef. These girls seem to simply be stepping in as variables in what has come to be a winning equation for the girls before them.
While they are jumping on trampolines topless and running around in tube socks professing their love for this man, they are making bank. Think about it. He could be your grandpa.
Doesn’t is sadden you to think that he could spend his last days with these twits?
Comments
Mangundu Emilie Says
I am interested in seeing whether the new girls of the play boy mansion will be as good as the ones which left especially the twins.I really love the gals who left and I will really miss them
ROBIN Says
I was also floored when the kids came in for autographs.
I was thinking, guess it's Vegas baby!
I can't stand the way the twins talk.
I hated Kendra's voice and now the twins!
Jenn Strickland Says
This whole concept is hilarious. Nobody in their right mind would want his old ass thriving all over them at his age. I get the money, fame and notoriety aspect but seriously...
On a serious note, I think that when were dating we get these great opportunities all the time to make the right decision IN THE MOMENT. Given that opportunity, we almost always get it wrong.
That piece, Two girls/boys. One of YOU. Speaks directly to how we often miss the boat. It's REALLY REALLY sad that we do this to ourselves so often.
http://concretelyambiguous.com/concretely-ambiguous/who-would-you-choose...
ADM Says
After I picked myself up off the floor from laughing and thoroughly enjoying this article (spot on girl, SPOT ON!!) I must admit, I was, I repeat WAS a fan of this show. The new girls are not a fit for this show...or any show for that matter. Oh, wait, maybe Rock of Love! But I digress. I saw a preview where one of the twins was talking about she was the new Holly and Holly was the old Holly...or something to that effect. What?! First of all, Bridget, Kendra, and Holly have done their time and have left the mansion with money, gifts, and a lot of GND memories in hand. Second, it seems as though the new girls think they are in competition with girls who are not even there. Now, I think that H, B, and K had it together. (Yes, I said it) But let me explain. Of course, I'm comparing them to the new girls. For example, who is going to look for the new ??th Anniversary Playmates. At least Holly had some sort of business sense about her and the other two seemed to somewhat follow suit. At any rate, I don't think that the new girls are going to be that interesting to watch. So, I must move on to yet another reality show with a little more substance! Wish me luck!!
ADM Says
After I picked myself up off the floor from laughing and thoroughly enjoying this article (spot on girl, SPOT ON!!) I must admit, I was, I repeat WAS a fan of this show. The new girls are not a fit for this show...or any show for that matter. Oh, wait, maybe Rock of Love! But I digress. I saw a preview where one of the twins was talking about she was the new Holly and Holly was the old Holly...or something to that effect. What?! First of all, Bridget, Kendra, and Holly have done their time and have left the mansion with money, gifts, and a lot of GND memories in hand. Second, it seems as though the new girls think they are in competition with girls who are not even there. Now, I think that H, B, and K had it together. (Yes, I said it) But let me explain. Of course, I'm comparing them to the new girls. For example, who is going to look for the new ??th Anniversary Playmates. At least Holly had some sort of business sense about her and the other two seemed to somewhat follow suit. At any rate, I don't think that the new girls are going to be that interesting to watch. So, I must move on to yet another reality show with a little more substance! Wish me luck!!
SocialClimber Says
+1 on this whole piece.
It's always so weird and fake and stale...
Wonder if Kendra will spill the beans or not in her book (She's apparently writing one now). She's too stupid to know it would be good press.
Duncan Edwards Says
Sure it's all fluff but it's pretty, eye-candy, kind of fluff. Its not so bad to see a benevolent old guy with some pretty girls that all play nice together. Being an older guy who likes to play with ladies in similar fashion I can understand. I'm willing to bet that Hef genuinely cares for all of them and always has. It's fun to take care of them and be nice and have them think you are okay in return. He also understands that they come and go but life is short. Why stop the party until you have to? Its not creepy, it's clever.
I'll miss Bridget, Holly, and Kendra. I'll miss them enough that I'm interested in hearing how they get along in life after the mansion. Like Hef though, I'll be interested in seeing what else is out there as well. His mother lived to be a hundred so he might be doing this for a while yet. More power to him.
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