Thank You, Founding Fathers, for Chain Sex, Cancun and Katie Holmes

After I woke up, I learned that all the judges were really excited that they were finally doing classical ballet on the show. To their credit, it was very graceful and impressive, if you’re into that sort of thing. (I’m not.) Costumes: 5, Performance: 7

Karla and Vitolio drew the “dreaded” quick-step and their “story” was set in a museum, with Vitolio playing a statue. (Well, I mean, a dancing statue.) It was all very Fred & Ginger and I was loving it until - BAM! - Karla’s black and white dress magically transformed into a colorful chiffon number! Then I loved it even more!

This was the couple’s first dance together and they nailed it. Keep on eye on them. Costume: 10, Performance: 9

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