Poehler steals Ryan Seacrest's interview, Douglas flies solo — and Neil Patrick Harris just won't leave the stage
3:50 p.m.: ”Dancing With the Stars'” Bruno Toniolio stuck in the awful traffic extending south on Figueroa for 1.5 miles before the security checkpoint. He's smoking out the window of his SUV.
4:15 p.m.: Amy Poehler takes over the mic from Ryan Seacrest to interview Carrie Underwood. As she's leaving, Carrie debunks my theory that she's performing with an ex-Beatle. “I'm not performing with Paul McCartney,” she tells me when I ask if she's excited to be performing with him.
4:35 p.m.: In the hallway stage left where talent congregates, Mayim Bialik's team assuring her she'll be talking to the media backstage (meaning she'll win). She doesn't.
4:45 p.m.: Michael Douglas striding to bathroom right before the show starts. Running in solo.
4:50 p.m.: In the lobby they're announcing, “There's plenty of time for selfies after the show starts. Please take your seats.”
4:54 p.m.: Even though this is on CBS, they're showing rival E! Online red carpet coverage in the theater. For good reason, the network was showing football right up until the awards telecast began.
4:58 p.m.: Ken Ehrlich is giving out the Jets score in the room in his pre-show speech.
5:35 p.m.: Neil Patrick Harris is staying on the stage (stage right) in the dark even when he ‘s not on camera.
5:56 p.m.: During the commercial break before Elton John's performance, there's a Stefon reunion. Bill Hader, Seth Meyers and their significant others are talking in the aisle up until 10 seconds before their airtime.
6:58 p.m.: Kate Mara was halfway to the stage to accept on David Fincher's behalf (Drama directing) when the presenters jumped the gun and said that they would accept on his behalf. Mara awkwardly and embarrassingly shuffled back up the aisle between the 300 and 400 sections to her seat.
7:04 p.m.: When Bob Newhart announced Colbert's name for variety series, Doug Herzog was the first to jump to his feet for the standing ovation.
Not sure how the Oscar-ish dance number played on TV, but it played huge in the room. People loved it. Extended applause.
7:23 p.m.: With Colbert's second win, Comedy Central picked the wrong year to cancel their party. This is the first year they're not doing it on Sunday night.
7:41 p.m.: In memorium applause-o-meter winners: 1) Jack Klugman, 2) Roger Ebert, 3) Dennis Farina tied with Larry Hagman