“General Ryan Seacrest” leads the tribe on “a furious march” to conquer every major city in the nation
“Keeping Up with the Kardashians” has proved to be a difficult task. First they took New York, then they took Miami, and now they’re taking the Hamptons, which inspired Jimmy Kimmel to imagine what a documentary about the famous family would look like one day.
“Kardashian Konquest: The Taking of America” is a Ken Burns-style PBS doc tracing “the tribe” rising to power under the leadership of “General Ryan Seacrest”
“United by a common hunger for glory, and the relentless leadership of General Ryan Seacrest, the tribe started taking land,” a narrator says in the mock trailer (above) Kimmel aired on Thursday. “Their furious march for domination continued, taking town after town, basketball player after basketball player, until the Kanye West was won.”
For frightened viewers out there wondering how our society can avoid this all-too-real apocalyptic vision of the future, there is most likely no hope. Unless you stop watching Kardashian krap, of kourse.
But k’mon, you know you kan’t stop kraving ktheir kdrama!