Everything old is apparently new new again, where Lindsay Lohan's upcoming film "The Canyons" is concerned.
A new teaser-trailer for the Bret Easton Ellis-Paul Schrader project — which is being funded largely through Kickstarter donations — has been released, paying homage to the thrillers of the '70s. As might be expected, the clip is loaded to the brim with frothing, Me Decade cheesiness.
Also read: Lindsay Lohan's "The Canyons" Trailer Is Out … Without Lindsay Lohan (Video)
That includes lurid promises such as, "Where the sex is as cheap as the budget … and the only way out is DEATH!"
And, "Prepare yourself for a shocking new vision." (Somewhat ironic, given the retro bent of the trailer.)
Oh, and it also describes Lohan's co-star, adult-film performer James Deen, as "a 'HUGE' new talent."
In case subtlety's not your thing, yes — that is a dick joke.
The YouTube description for the trailer promises (threatens?) that two more trailers in the style of 1950s melodrama and 1930s comedy will be forthcoming.
Until then, throw on your shiniest pair of platform shoes with goldfish in the heels and enjoy.