Dailies | George Takei Reads ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ – Oh, My! (Video)

"Star Trek" icon George Takei discussing the art of female sexual stimulation? Christmas just came early, friends

Prepare to boldly go where no man has gone before. And perhaps maybe shouldn't have.

"Star Trek" icon George Takei gamely answers the question, "What would 'Star Trek' icon George Takei sound like reading 'Fifty Shades of Grey'?" in a new video in which he, well, reads passages from EL James' modern masterpiece of erotic literature. While punctuating each bawdy phrase with a scandalized, "Oh, my!"

Also read: "Fifty Shades of Grey" Porn Knockoff Sparks a Lawsuit

You probably didn't wake up this morning thinking that you'd hear Sulu intone, "Grabbing my upper thighs, he forces my legs apart. I groan loudly, feeling his tongue circling my clitoris." But hey — these are strange, wonderful and occasionally horrifying times we're living in.

Let "Fifty Shades of Takei" wash over you like an overwhelming climax by watching the video.