Singer: “You’re a stripper wearing reading glasses”
Since that infamous Playboy interview and subsequent self-imposed Twitter hiatus earlier this year, John Mayer — once a prolific tweeter — has been relatively quiet on the social messaging service.
On Thursday, Mayer took to his preferred platform — Tumblr — to slam the Huffington Post over a story that raises the question, “Are John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston back on?”
“Ahh, Huffington Post, the internet Death Star,” Mayer wrote. “The world’s first spectator banking website. Come watch a site’s intelligence move in and out like bellows of accordion depending on whether or not there’s ad dollars to be sucked out of any willing orifice.”
Mayer criticized the report, noting that HuffPo hinged the post on banter he had with the crowd at his Hollywood Bowl Concert on Sunday — and that part of the quote is actually from one of his songs.
“I believe in second chances!” he said. “You might have been a pain in the ass the last time around, but you can still start over again from home base. Next time you get a text from the one you love just text back ‘come over’ — no matter what happened in the past. If you really love someone, just tell them and be with them.”
Huffington Post, this is reporting? How do you pay your writers now, in Silly Bandz? Do you meet your sources in a malt shoppe? This is equal parts fabricated, cobbled together and misleading. Let’s break it down: I don’t think I ever said “I believe in second chances!” but I can’t be 100 percent sure, as it’s possible I could have accidentally said something succinctly and to the point. The next sentence is from the song “Half of My Heart,” in reference to the idea that meeting new people allows for hiding old mistakes. (Well, for most people at least.) The sentence about texting comes from the show’s encore, “Edge of Desire,” in a moment of giving people permission not to beat themselves down for still wanting someone. Two sentences about different things at different points in a concert.
Mayer apparently holds HuffPo to a higher standard of journalism than celebrity tabloids like In Touch or Star.
The reason I’m calling you out instead of all the other magazines that make stories up out of thin air is that In Touch and Star Magazine aren’t concurrently writing pieces about Pat Tillman or WikiLeaks. Those other rags know who they are, and even if they’re obnoxious, I’d rather have to live with them because they know where they stand, which doesn’t make them one tenth as dangerous as you are. You’re a stripper wearing reading glasses. Or maybe you’re an insolvent law student willing to dance for a few extra dollars. Either way, it’s uncomfortable to watch you try to wrap yourself around a pole when you have C-Span scars.
Mayer concludes his post with a headline suggestion:
JOHN MAYER SLAMS HUFFPO: "GO F**K YOURSELF!"
I e-mailed Arianna Huffington for a response to this. I’ll update this post if I hear back.