Gen. David Petraeus could probably woo three times as many young, ambitious biographers in his dapper tuxedo ...
... which is why Daniel Craig, Mr. James Bond himself, should play him in Hollywood's take on the D.C. sex scandal.
The disgraced former CIA director's mistress was his biographer, Paula Broadwell, whose taut physique and slender build reportedly made her the envy of many a woman at diplomatic cocktail functions ...
... so the svelte Christina Ricci would be the perfect casting option to play Petraeus's paramour. Plus, they have comparable foreheads, just sayin'.
The plot of the scandal got murkier when it came out that a military party-planning liaison in Tampa, wealthy socialite Jill Kelley complained to the FBI after Broadwell started sending her nasty, anonymous emails ...
Kelley's ritzy swagger would be well-played by Italian supermodel and actress Monica Bellucci. See the resemblance?
The FBI agent Kelley contacted to trace the threatening emails was Frederick W. Humphries II, who allegedly exchanged some shirtless pics with her. Now, when it comes to bare chests, who is better fit for the role than ...
... Matthew McConaughey! Need we say more?
But just as we all thought enough military officials were embroiled in the scandal, Gen. John Allen, the guy in charge of NATO forces in Afghanistan, was outed for apparently exchanging thousands of "beyond flirtatious" emails with Kelley, too! ...
So "Taken" star Liam Neeson would be perfect to play the military commander. Who else would be so bold?
And lest we forget the woman in the background of this mess: Mrs. Holly Petraeus ...
... "The Good Wife" star Julianna Margulies could play the good wife that stood by the canoodling commander.
Vernon Loeb, the Washington Post editor that ghost-wrote Broadwell's glowing Petraeus biography, plays a minor role. But with his ringside view of the affair, which he says he was "dumbfounded" to discover, he deserves a few scenes played by ...
... Viggo Mortensen! The "Eastern Promises" star could really rock the role of a staid, if clueless, newspaperman, skeptical of the "close access" his co-author had with the general.
The sex scandal that brought former Gen. David Petraeus' illustrious public service career to a screeching halt last week continues to unfold with new, juicy details. The cast of characters -- including a Florida socialite, a clueless co-author and a NATO commander -- keeps expanding, and it's almost too good not to be the creation of some Hollywood screenwriter.
With that in mind, here are our picks for the silver screen-worthy story playing out on news outlets for the last week.
