In my last piece, "Generation Under," I wrote about actors that I’d like to see work more or do better quality work. The response was only slight less heated than a massive volcanic eruption. Thanks to everyone who took the time to comment – whether you were adding a thoughtful response or questioning my sanity, it’s great to hear from you. And while I’d always rather hit a nerve than put you to sleep, I do feel the need to add that it's just my opinion, no need to take it so ... personally.
Now that we've seen to getting some actors back to work, I started thinking about the reverse -- actors, and I use that term loosely, that I’m sick of seeing.
Some of them long for a meaningful career but aren't able to get the respect their agent keeps telling them they deserve. Some of them are great at being celebrities -- they’ll walk a red carpet at a car wash opening -- and they give great interview but the likelihood of any of them ever thanking the Academy is minute.
It’s not so much the snobbishness of not being serious thespians -- God knows popcorn movies need casts too -- it’s that these perpetually overemployed stars just don’t do it for me and I’m sick of studios trying to shove them down my throat. Since we're all in this recession together, here are a few actors that I’d like to see take an early retirement.
Cameron Diaz: Yes, boys, I get the appeal -- she’s a tomboy with the body of a Victoria’s Secret model and you’d be happy to watch her deworm a dog. But if we’re being honest with ourselves, in comedies, she’s not particularly funny and in the very occasional serious role, she’s not believable. What she’s great at is being a celebrity. She’s accessible, gracious and poses often in short skirts. While these are all marketable qualities in a star, it has nothing to do with the two movies are a year she inflicts on us.
Channing Tatum/Liam Helmsworth/Garrett Hedlund/Ryan Kwanten/Chris Evans: Believe me when I say that ladies are entitled to their own eye candy, but acting with your abs isn’t exactly Method. With names so marquee-ready and looks that are nearly interchangeable, it’s not surprising that they’ve made their way to Hollywood. It’s as if they were genetically engineered to be as blandly appealing to as large an audience as possible but most of the time, their acting ranges from robotic to painfully inadequate. There are plenty of pretty boys (hello, Chris Pine!) able to flex their way across the screen while emoting something other than "need protein shake now."
Ben Stiller: In the pantheon of irritating actors, Ben can stand tall and proud. For a one-note actor who's makes you realize what Woody Allen would have been like without a sense of humor, it's astonishing that he's had this kind of longevity.
