This year you can finally put an end to that vicious cycle of making New Year’s resolutions and then failing to live up to them. To guide you in this endeavor, I’ve taken a page straight out of the modern day parenting handbook.

Just as children are now showered with accolades for a different class of achievement (e.g., signing up, attending, participating), you too will succeed in 2012 not by the arcane means of putting in time and effort but by carefully crafting your goals upfront. Setting the bar appropriately will ensure that you’ll achieve everything you commit to do and more. Here’s a list of resolutions for you to adopt in the coming year:

1. Cap Weight Gain: Put on no more than 10 pounds before the summer. Maintain current intake levels of carbs, sugar and animal-based produce....