You ever have a party that seems to go on forever. It’s been raucous, joyous, all are having a grand time … the mood is pulsating, but you’d like everyone to leave. Now!
Instead of turning up the lights, dimming the music and pushing the partygoers out the door, wheel in a red box and have Ridickulous pop out. You read that right. Ri-dick-ulous, a stripper whose penis leaves the guest shaken and drinks stirred — literally.
When his member is done serving up mixed drinks, Ridickulous can pleasure himself on demand. And although there was no demand at Kandi’s 35th birthday party, he supplied the attendees with some pearl-clutching material and made Bravo TV’s censor bar work overtime.
Upturned faces scurried out, popped their eyes into their purse, and drove home blindly. Well, at least NeNe did — and truthfully, when she leaves a party, it’s over.
Kandi’s mother was close on NeNe’s heels. Mama Joyce sped off, but not before giving Kandi a verbal lashing that cut 30 years off her age and had Kandi stammering and apologizing like a 5 year old.
But this penis parade was not Kandi’s doing. Phaedra’s gifts can smooth over arguments, like the one she gave Kim as an apology for Apollo’s behavior at her baby shower. But this birthday gift that kept on giving … and receiving, elicited gasps of disbelief and departures in disgust.
Phaedra just wanted to give Kandi "something someone should see at least once in their lifetime," but it seemed many of the guests could have gone their whole lives without seeing that.
But the little censored item was in and out of almost every scene of this episode. Kim wanted her son’s cut — she met with a baby consultant to ensure his circumcision received proper care and his “pee pee isn’t wearing a turtleneck.”
Kandi just wants one — in her life. Turning 35 had Kandi lamenting her lack of a partnership, and the tick-tock of her biological clock had her looking longingly at Kim’s baby bump and young tender, Kroy.
Meanwhile, Peter was forced to speak with Cynthia’s sister, Malorie. There’s no love lost between them, as he can’t get over her hide-and-go-seek games with the marriage certificate on the day of the wedding. And she can’t get over his failed business ventures and Cynthia’s constant bailouts.
Cynthia has sworn to Malorie that she won’t be backing Bar None. Yes, I know it’s Bar One, but I’m choosing to call it Bar None because the amount of bars Peter should be allowed to open on Cynthia’s dime is None. Cynthia would also like Malorie to stay out of her business and focus on her own relationship, but where’s the fun in that?
Due to a $40,000 check bounce by an investor, Bar None is on the rocks …
At least Ridickulous isn’t stirring that. Although by the look on Peter’s face during the penis performance … he wouldn’t mind.