Seth Meyers’ Best Jokes From the NBC Upfront

Seth Meyers

“Late Night” host welcomes advertisers to the Javits Center, “smack-dab in the middle of New York’s stabbing district”

NBC may have picked New York City’s out-of the-way Javits Center for its upfront presentation to advertisers just so Seth Meyers would have plenty of material.

The “Late Night” host, who opened NBC’s presentation of its 2014-15 slate, picked on the less-than convenient locale in far west Manhattan. He also called attention to the $7.7 billion NBC is paying to air the Olympics through 2032.

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But one thing he didn’t make fun of was NBC’s ratings: The network will finish this season as No. 1 in the key 18-49 demographic for the first time in a decade.

Here are some of Meyers’ best jokes:

“Thank you all for traveling in and waking up early to hear what could have been just as easily covered in a mass email.”

“What a great joy it is to be at the beautiful Javits Center, smack-dab in the middle of New York’s stabbing district.”

“If there’s a better place to do an upfront than the Javits Center — sorry, I wasn’t supposed to say ‘if.’ There’s a better place to do an upfront than the Javits Center. That’s better.”

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“You know that old saying, ‘How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice’? Well, the Javits Center is where you end up of you don’t practice.”

“What it lacks in charm it more than makes up for in size. They say the Javits Center is so big it can fit every person who watched an episode of ‘Ironside.'”

“I am behind on a few shows. So please, nobody tell me if Sean saved the world.”

“It’s not just an exciting time for NBC, it’s an exciting time for our parent company. Comcast and Time Warner are still working on a $45.2 billion deal that would create the largest cable company in the U.S. … with 35 million subscribers and as many as 12 customer service representatives.”

“In another Russian-NBC crossover, Ukraine will be appearing in the next season of ‘The Biggest Loser.'”

“I know $7.65 billion sounds like a lot for the Olympics, but keep in mind, 4 billion of that goes straight to eye drops for Bob Costas.”

“‘The Blacklist,’ for those who haven’t seen it, is about the people Donald Sterling doesn’t want coming to Clippers games.”

“Some of you took taxis here today. Some of you took the subway. I rode in on Jimmy Fallon‘s coattails. Of course I’m joking. None of you took the subway. The subway doesn’t come here. Even the New York City subway is like, the Javits? Ehh, no thank you.”