“SNL” went for the jugular on Donald Trump with its cold open this week, with Alec Baldwin reprising the role to give an interview to Michael Che as Lester Holt. You can check out the sketch up above.
Holt opened by asking Trump about the firing of FBI Director James Comey.
“Your staff is insisting you didn’t fire him because of the Russian investigation,” Che’s Holt said of Comey.
“No, I did,” Trump returned.
“Wait, what?” Holt asked.
“I said, ‘he is investigating Russia. I don’t like that. I should fire him,'” Trump said.
“And you are just admitting that?” Holt continued.
“That’s obstruction of justice,” Holt told Trump.
“Uh-huh. Whatever,” Trump said.
“Did I get him? Is it all over?” Holt asked looking off-stage. “No? Nothing matters? Absolutely nothing matters anymore? All right.”
“Nothing is going to stop me because I have the Republicans in the palm of my hand,” Trump said.
Baldwin’s Trump then rang a bell and summoned a waiter to bring him two scoops of ice cream. The waiter turned out to be Mikey Day, playing Paul Ryan.
“Mr. President, let’s move on,” Holt said. “After this week, many are drawing comparisons between you and Richard Nixon.”
“I am nothing like Nixon,” Trump said. “I am not a crook. Plus I get two scoops of ice cream for dessert. I bet Nixon only got one scoop. Two scoops!” Baldwin’s Trump then mimicked Nixon’s trade mark two-handed peace sign.
“You are also very different because he won the popular vote,” Holt noted.
“Listen, OJ you’re being very mean to me,” Trump said, calling Holt the wrong name — something he’d do through the interview. “You didn’t ask about all the good things I did this week. For instance, on Tuesday, I let Kellyanne out of the crypt.”
Holt also brought up Trump’s assertion he invented the phrase “prime the pump.”
“It’s when I tug on myself half an hour before Melania comes in so she can find it easier,” Trump explained. Yes, the “it” he’s referring to there is his penis.
On the subject of Trump’s tweeted threat that he taped his conversations with Comey, Baldwin’s Trump went ahead and confirmed it.
“Some people call me a serial tapist,” Trump said. “That’s right, I am. When you’re president, they let you do it.”
Che’s Holt asked Trump to consider the optics of the Comey situation and whoever he chose to succeed the FBI director.
By that point, “SNL” was well beyond taking any prisoners.
“You think I care about optics? Look at me, I sit on every chair like it’s a toilet,” Trump told Holt, leaning well forward in Trump’s trademark stance.
“Your presidency is like the craziest show on TV, and it’s on 24 hours a day, and we can’t keep up,” Che’s Holt said.
“Too bad because it runs for eight years,” Trump said. “We have plenty of twists coming up and favorite characters will be coming back. Kim Jong-un, even Psycho Steve Miller. I don’t wanna give away too much, but in an upcoming episode, you’re going to find out that Kellyanne has been dead this whole time.”
Closing out the sketch, Holt said, “I just want to say I can’t believe you are president.”
For more “SNL” goodness, check out our coverage of past sketches here.