A poorly timed Bora Bora vacation with his girlfriend coupled with the power of Twitter made Jimmy Kimmel the unwitting celebrity face of the Japanese tsunami.
But as the late-night host voluminously explains in an essay for the Huffington Post, he was never in any serious danger.
Kimmel primarily uses the column, written after his safe return to Los Angeles, to crack wise about how fellow guests behaved during a not-so-harrowing evacuation from the Four Seasons Resort to a hill on a nearby island.
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For example, here are three choice comments uttered by his well-to-do fellow travelers after the group had been served trays of amenities by the resort staff while they were all waiting out the storm:
"Butter, please!"
"Is that guava juice?"
"I've got a massage at eleven. I wonder if they're gonna push it back?"
The crisis ended a few hours later.
"At 7:30, a ripple roughly the size of a peanut M&M was identified as the wave we'd been waiting for," concludes Kimmel.
