The Wrestler unmasked
Istanbul, Turkey. Such a fitting country name for "The Bachelorette" right now because so far, this season (and Ali in particular) is turning out to be one giant dud.
As the show opens, Ali tells the camera that she feels totally confident that nothing bad can possibly happen right now. We know this isn't true, and as soon as the words come out of her mouth Chris knocks on the door and tells Ali that ... *cue ominous music as the phone rings seven hundred times before it's picked up by last season’s Jesse * … Justin has a girlfriend and her name is Jessica.
And guess what? Jessica is right there, and appears on camera to tell Ali about Rated R's devious plan to use the show for publicity. How dare he? It's not as if anyone else has ever done this before (cough, cough, JakeandWes, cough, cough). Ali is "pissed," both at herself for falling for his lines and at Justin for being such a Rated D douche. "I want him on the first plane back to Canada," she says. "He's not going to embarrass me," she adds.
After the break, Ali rehashes everything we just sat through two minutes ago, you know, just in case we forgot. Ali and Chris head over to the boys' hotel room, and she begins to let loose on Justin. Justin, being the big man that he is, walks away and tries to peace out. Ali doesn’t want him to get away so easily, and takes off after him. He tries to escape to the hotel restaurant but even the waiter won't let him in. He's sauntering about the grounds and making a complete ass of himself while Ali won't give up; ya know, this is actually turning out to be one of the show's funnier moments.
Wait, is Justin actually coming back? Perhaps he realized he left his dignity and manhood somewhere and wants them back. Too late, dude, those were lost well before you came on the show. Anyway, after several minutes of awkward silence, he tries to concoct a story about falling for her in the process and that he only considers his girlfriend as his "best friend."
Eventually he offers a hollow apology and once again walks away. "I hate Justin for doing this to me," she says. As the camera follows Justin leaving, the producers play us voicemails that he left his girlfriend declaring his undying love for her. I must admit that this makes for another awesome moment in reality television, but on the other hand it just proves how futile the concept of "The Bachelor" is for actually finding love.
Ali and Ty steam it up
Can these last 15 minutes be topped? I doubt it, but let's see...
While the guys are going off about what an ass Justin is/was, a one-on-one date card is shoved under the door. Ty is the (un)lucky candidate, and Ali meets him in the middle of the city.
