The show opens with Chris telling us he's starting to fall in love with Ali. Love is so blind, isn't it?
We get rehashes of all three men packing for Tahiti and singing Ali's praises. Ya know, even if they were literally singing, it'd come off less cheesy than the crap they're spouting right now. It's almost as if it's scripted. Nahhhh ... Then, right away, Frank clues us in that he hasn't got over his ex-girlfriend, Nicole.
He tells the camera that the right thing to do is go to Chicago to visit the ex to see if his feelings are true. And, he came on this show why? Cut to commercial.
Frank is already in Chicago, and he's talking incessantly about his insecurities regarding both women. So, let me get this straight ... the producers of this show, who have made such a fuss about guys coming on with girlfriends, are following Frank, with cameras, as he tries to decide which woman he wants? Is Frank all of a sudden The Bachelor? What gives, ABC?
Anyway, the cameras follow Frank's reconnection with Nicole, and he explains the whole deal to her, including his true feelings for Ali ... Long awkward pause follows. When Nicole finally opens her mouth, she talks about it all being so heartbreaking. Then, she pulls a Renee Zellweger and tells him that he completes her. From "Bachelorette" to "Bachelor" to "Jerry Maguire" in five minutes, ladies and gentlemen!
Hold on a second here ... Frank admits that Nicole is the girl for him and she's the one he wants to be with for the rest of his life! They kiss softly and passionately before he tells her that the next thing he's gotta do is tell Ali that he's in love with someone else.
Ali is already in Tahiti and the island looks absolutely stunning. It's overnights this week, and "it's an opportunity to take my relationships with the guys to the next level," Ali tells us. Translation? Here's my chance to have all the free sex I want with three different guys without being labeled a total slut. But it's okay, because "one of these guys is going to be my husband."
Roberto arrives, and he's more than ready to propose to her. Thankfully we had sushi for dinner tonight because if it were anything heavier it could possibly find its way onto this laptop. Baaaarf! What's first for these two lovebirds? Another helicopter ride -- because we just haven't had enough of them this season. Roberto seems genuine, as does his relationship with Ali, so I guess it's fitting they land on a heart-shaped island.
Are you puking yet? No? It is awfully romantic, which makes watching this all the more painful knowing that none of these Bachelor/ette relationships ever last.
Night falls, and both are dressed up for a romantic dinner. More romance and free-flowing conversation ensues, but Roberto slows it down with an admission, after several minutes of hemming and hawing, that he is in fact falling in love with her.
