The 10th season of "Dancing With the Stars" premiered last night on ABC. It almost didn’t matter who was 
dancing, because I was so happy that Samantha Harris was gone, I would have tuned in to watch anyone. Welcome to Brooke Burke. My only advice to her as she starts her new job is, eat a sandwich.
First up is Chad Ochocinco: Are you kidding me with this guy? His body is insane. What are the chances that he is Jewish and looking for a 44-year-old single mother in the Valley? Seriously, you can pop a quarter off this man’s rear end. He did a great job for his first time out and I think he’ll be around for a while.
Shannen Doherty: She was OK. She cried for her dad and it was sweet, but a little early to be milking sympathy votes. I wanted to see her, but she was a bit of a joy-sucker. Her body looked weird, and one eye is much lower on her face than the other. I grew up watching her, and I think she’ll stay for a little while.
Erin Andrews: I don’t know who she is, and I don’t think she is even remotely interesting. Her costume was funky, and it made her right breast look two sizes larger than the left one. I would like it very much if she were the first one to get the boot. It’s a drag because Max is great to watch, but someone has got to go first, and it should be her. Bye-bye.
Jake Pavelka: We all know I didn’t dig him as the Bachelor. The only reason I was interested in seeing him now was to watch Vienna watching him. Here’s the surprising thing: He was really good. When he starting jumping 
up and down when he got a 7, I totally crushed on him. I never would have believed it, but he’s got my vote. Go figure.
up and down when he got a 7, I totally crushed on him. I never would have believed it, but he’s got my vote. Go figure.Niecy Nash: I was most surprised by her, and it had nothing to do with dancing. I find her to be annoying, and I hate her on "The Insider." But she was charming. She is funny, and I want her to do well. Bless her for loving her body, and letting women know it’s cool to not be a size 0.
Evan Lysacek: What can you say about this guy? He was great. He is the best in the world in his sport, and I predict he’s in the finals. He is oddly feminine, and I want to cut his hair, but he is fabulous. If he gets the boot, it will be because Anna’s fake hair color was too distracting for America. Why doesn’t someone tell her that color only works in a Tim Burton film?
