With no real drama captured, Sunday night’s “Real Housewives of Atlanta” on Bravo played like a late night infomercial with each lady hawking their own product — themselves.
>> NeNe selling herself as an actress. NeNe arrived in Hollywood to begin her journey to an Oscar, but delusion must be her final destination. Yes, NeNe had a meeting with Ryan Murphy, the creator of "Glee," and it obviously went well as she appeared in a guest-starring role. Yes, she’s also in talks to appear in Murphy’s upcoming sitcom pilot. But, someone please tell her how to get … how to get… to Sesame Street because the only Oscar that NeNe will have the pleasure of encountering lives in a trash can..
While having drinks with her assistant, a few of NeNe’s celebrity friends happened to drop in — pure coincidence! Rudy Huxtable — who lives in Atlanta with her boyfriend Bud, but also resides in Los Angeles with her overweight friend Peter who runs out the door when Bud comes home — told NeNe dual households are do-able with a recurring “Cosby Show” residual check. Steve Harvey also offered some Hollywood survival advice as NeNe gazed longingly at his wife’s 25-carat yellow diamond and wondered about her pending divorce from Gregg. Cue the violins.
>> Kim peddling her spin-off. Kim’s engaged! We did not see the proposal. Tune in to the spin-off! We were privy to Kroy asking Kim’s Dad for her hand in marriage. After milking the scene for all it was worth, he agreed to let Kroy have the cow for free. I believe that’s how that saying goes.
Kim raved about her anticipated wedding and 10-carat ring to Sheree who feigned excitement and agreed to be a bridesmaid. However, Sheree did curse the fact that she didn’t get to help Kroy pick out the ring and thereby ruin another engagement.
>> Kandi plugging butt plugs. Mary Kay move over. Kandi has a line of lipsticks and compacts that promise not a pretty face, but a sexy time at rapid pace. Intent on producing her own sex toy line, she met with a designer via Skype who presented some sketches of discreet goods that deliver good vibrations. There’s a pleasure party next week. You won’t want to miss it!
>> Cynthia talking up the agency. In preparation for her modeling agency model search, she discussed logistics with Peter, but worried she may not find girls with the right look. He worried the small office space will go over capacity. And we worried we might fall asleep during this segment of the infomercial, but after switching back from livelier fare on QVC, we caught the end…
>> Phaedra speaking of the dead. Phaedra proved she could sell luxury to the lost when tested with a fake grieving family in need of top hats, couture caskets, and little white doves. Now Phaedra will be creating funerals to die for! She finally partnered up with mentor, famed funeral director Willie A. Watkins. The announcement was made at his celebration gala that was much like this season—too long and tedious.
But wait, there’s more!!!