For those of you discouraged by Thursday’s results, keep in mind that Chris Daughtry also finished fourth on “Idol” ... along with superstars like LaKisha Jones and Anthony Fedorov. Wait, who?
Exactly.
Catty comments aside, it really makes no difference how these Final Four place, or how the Top 10 placed, for that matter. (Anyone remember a little lady named Pia Toscano?) They’ll all go on to bigger things and the shine in their stars will make Taylor Hicks look like a low wattage bulb in comparison.
But back to the suspense.
“Tonight, regardless of the result, all four will get the chance to head home ... but only three will do it in style.” So said Seacrest after the Final Four chatted with family via webcam in a blatant advertisement for Windows 7 -- er, that’s “unscripted genuine moment with the contestants.”
The guys opened up the show with “Start a Band” by Keith Urban and Brad Paisley, a tune that extols the virtues of -- you guessed it -- starting a band. According to the lyrics, some of the perks of starting said band are having a line of girls waiting out back. How appropriate then, that the judges’ pedestal was littered with tween groupies who were too young for even a puerile Scotty.
Country songs and underage girls. What is this, “American Mormon?”
While the performance itself was pretty dull, it makes you wonder why they chose a country song. Were they giving Scotty his last hoorah? Or were they setting us up for a country finale? James gave it a good try but he was clearly out of his comfort zone. (You know, because there were no pyrotechnics, obviously.) His attempt at twang bordered on Broadway, which probably wasn’t his desired effect, and he got hit in the eye by his wife’s nose as he worked the audience.
“You're in tears already!” said Seacrest of a leaking James. Foreshadowing? Hmmm...
If the guys’ performance didn’t make you wonder whom the producers are pushing, then the girls’ number left no question. In the second country song of the night, the gals tackled Miranda Lambert’s “Gunpowder and Lead,” interesting since Lambert’s fiancé is none other than Blake Shelton, a judge on “Idol” wannabe “The Voice.”
Obviously they were going to perform some other pop or rock songs later. Uh, right? Wrong!
Haley’s tough chick sex appeal was a saucy complement to Lauren’s Johnny-Cash-in-drag charm on the uplifting refrain about domestic abuse and revenge. Like salt on watermelon, the harmonies were unexpected in a good way. One has to wonder, though. For a girl who was so concerned about warbling the word “evil” just days earlier, Lauren sure had a ball singing about killing her lover.
After the Windows 7 commercial, it was time for some results. Almost 72 million votes were cast, more than any other season’s Final Four performance show. “After the nationwide vote,” said Seacrest, “the first person to make it into the Top Three is ... the pride of Rossville, Georgia -- Lauren Alaina!” As cheers erupted from the audience, fellow Georgian Seacrest added, “She’ll be going on a private jet back home!” Fancy flyin' machines -- a treat for both Lauren and Rossville!
A relieved and elated Lauren took her seat on the far side of the stage and then we watched a package on how the Idols “got in the mood” for working with Gaga.
