Someone won’t be singing “Veggie Tales” on movie-song night
Sinatra may be long gone but ‘Ol Blue Eyes lives on in torch bearers such as Tony Bennett, Michael Buble and … Lady Gaga? That’s right, Gagaloo herself performed on last night’s swanky results show, which makes perfect sense, seeing as this has been an entire season of nonsense. More on her in a minute.
In the first of two group sings (Thank you, God!), the Fab Five lip-synched to a medley of Sinatra classics while dressed up like the Rat Pack. (Michael Lynche was obviously Sammy Davis Jr., and Casey James was whichever one was the lamest — Peter Lawford?) They each got their shining moment, and while it was cute that little Aaron Kelly sang “It Was a Very Good Year,” you know, because he’s 17, it seemed borderline offensive when the guys serenaded Crystal with “The Lady Is a Tramp.” Who says rap is the only genre that devalues women?
Now back to Gaga, as promised. I have to admit that last year when she performed “Poker Face” on “Idol,” I was a kind of horrified, as it was a little bit “Clockwork Orange” meets saloon girl. But now I’m on the Gaga Train because I realize that she is a performance artist. That’s what all the blood and bubbles have been about. (Duh.)
Now that Gaga has already performed twice on “Idol,” one wonders when it will be her turn to mentor. Her career longevity surpasses even Adam Lambert’s (no, really!) and surely she has shown talent enough to be on par with — dare I say it? — Miley Cyrus. It would be fascinating to see what tips she’d give the Idols on things like dance moves and various ways to obstruct your face. And, all kookiness aside, she is a bit of a virtuoso. Just think of how entertaining it would be if she’d offer to write the contestants’ arrangements the way I-Connick did!
As usual, her performance didn’t disappoint in the drama department. She sang “Alejandro” — the perfect choice for Cinco de Mayo! I think the “story” was either about her being a sexy grim reaper or a mourner in a cemetery where Calvin Klein boxer briefs go to die. At least that’s what I could decipher from the costumes; I don’t speak Spanish.
While it was riveting, it didn’t take long for “Idol” to remind us that this wasn’t Lady Gaga Week, but Harry Connick Jr. — er, that is, Frank Sinatra Week. First there was the video of “Connick’s Quips.” You don’t get a job as “The Husband” on “Will & Grace” without being funny. Just look at how he ribs Crystal about carrying an insulin pump! (Who does she think she is anyway, Bret Michaels?)
Next there was the I-Connick performance, which just happened to be his very own arrangement of “And I Love Her.” (Where was he during mentorless Beatles Week?) The Idols then lip-synched a medley of I-Connick’s songs. (And I don’t even think Harry was pantomiming the piano!) As if all this weren’t enough, he even regaled us with tales of performing for the Chairman of the Board himself.
He is a funny accomplished musician who carries on a witty repartee with fellow Nawlander, Ellen. And he’s not bad to look at, either. Trust me; I once saw him at a Connecticut IHOP. (Squeal!) So is there even a slight possibility that he could replace Simon as a judge? Sure, he’s busy, but Ellen still manages it while producing a daily talk show. It just makes you wonder because I don’t remember any other mentor being so heavily featured, not to say that it wasn’t well deserved. It was Harry, not the Idols, that impressed me this week.
Oh, I was so engrossed in the guest stars this week that I almost forgot! There was also an elimination on last night’s elimination show. Little Aaron Kelly will not be joining us for Movie Week with Jamie Foxx next Tuesday. The 17-year-old kept it together surprisingly well and was comforted by fellow bottom-of-the-barrel contestant Big Mike, who seemed to be giving him words of wisdom. (No doubt the sage words advised him on keeping his head up high and how many reps he should be doing in the gym.)
This just goes to show that my endorsement is the kiss of death for any contestant — Siobhan, Didi, Alex, Lilly. RIP, Aaron. I guess we’ll never know what your final choice would’ve been for Movie Week, “Under the Sea” or something from one of those “VeggieTales” movies.