With Wikipedia down, library masturbation is up
Jon Stewart tried to make sense of SOPA Wednesday — but how was he supposed to do that with Wikipedia down?
The "Daily Show" host noted that the online encyclopedia was one of many sites that went dark to protest the Stop Online Piracy Act, which would limit access to websites that repeatedly post copyrighted material and imprison people who repeatedly post pirated material online.
"Wikipedia is dark. What do they expect us to do?" Stewart asked. "Go to the — library? Like a common masturbator? What is ths, 2009?"
Stewart noted that SOPA wouldn't take sites down altogether for violating piracy laws — it would merely make it impossible for anyone to access them.
"It's sort of like coming up with a plan to prevent teen pregnancy that includes filling penises with cement," he said.
Which would also be a great way to make people stop masturbating in libraries.
Stewart also urged viewers to remember the forgotten victims of piracy: Companies like News Corp. (who the show represented with Jabba the Hutt) and Disney (represented by Cruella de Vil).
Watch the video: