I can’t believe they are still doing that lame melodramatic thing where the judges walk onto stage and are announced. Is this the reason the show is still clocking in at two hours? Ridiculous!
(I also can’t believe Ryan Seacrest made an allusion to oral sex when Paula reached under the desk to get a coloring book for Simon, who was acting “childish,” apparently.)
It was Motown Week! Smokey Robinson was the guest mentor, and the Idols got to travel to Detroit to see where it all began.
Matt Giraud: His version of “Let’s Get It On” made me want to -- uh, well -- “get it on” with him. Granted, he isn’t the hottest guy in the contest -- that honor belongs to Kris Allen -- but once you watch Giraud perform, there is no question that his falsetto and piano playing are intoxicating. He is bringing sexy back, and them other boys don’t know how to act (except for Anoop).
Kris Allen: Had to be the “sensitive frat guy with the guitar” in college. Ryan even called him “bro!” He did his best Jason Mraz on “How Sweet It Is to Be Loved By You,” and the only thing missing was a beer pong table and some drunken sorority girls. Perhaps his young wife was one of said girls a few years ago?
Scott MacIntyre: Scott’s voice was pleasant enough on “You Can’t Hurry Love” but there was no passion there. Praise Jesus, he didn’t attempt any falsetto this time. I wonder if someone told him what a disaster it was. I am also starting to wonder if the glam squad is playing a joke on him with his hair. (He can’t see it, you know.) Disappointingly, he shelved himself behind the piano again. When are we gonna see his blind dance moves? That would really separate him from Stevie Wonder (as would his lack of real talent)!
Megan Joy: Could not have looked more uncomfortable on stage singing “For Once in My Life” last night -- gorgeous, but uncomfortable nonetheless. Unfortunately for her, pretty does not an Idol make. She is really living up to her Wild Card status; I mean, it’s wild that she’s still there at all! Hopefully America will keep her around for a few more laughs.
Anoop Desai: Got serious and sensual again with “Ooh Baby Baby.” I’m not complaining; he makes me swoon like a Bollywood heroine. But I miss his earnest interpretations of songs like “Beat It.” Hopefully my seven votes will help keep him in the game.
Michael Sarver: Sang “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg,” an appropriate choice, seeing as he’s pretty much begging to stay in the competition at this point. Seriously, when I heard Seacrest announce his name, my first thought was, “Wait, he’s still on the show?” Not for much longer, and it’s a good thing. There are still oil rigs out there that need to be, uh, “roughnecked.”
Lil Rounds: The only African American in the Top 10, and it’s Motown Week.
