The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show aired on CBS on Tuesday night, delivering a pageant of flesh, lace, hair-flipping and lip-pouting that will forever go down in history as perhaps America’s greatest moment, next to the moon landing and the Louisiana Purchase.
TheWrap took a moment away from gratifying itself while rudely grunting in order to jot down a few standout moments. Read below for our rundown.
A Tribute to “Looks Models”
Yes, all models are, essentially about their looks. But there is apparently a subgenre of “looks models” who rise up from the ranks, “modeling” the “looks” that “real” “models” will eventually don on the runway. This year’s Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show showcased the plights of the looks models, some of whom eventually become bona-fide models. Kudos for championing these unsung heroes of the modeling world!
The Eiffel Tower Headpiece
Because nothing says sexy like wearing a replica of a national monument on your head. Personally, I would have gone with a Bob’s Big Boy statuette perched on my noggin, because at least that would have reminded the models to eat once in a while, but that’s just me.
The Segment on the Model Who Fell Once, But Learned to Walk the Runway Once Again!
Perhaps the most poignant segment during this year’s Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show revolved around a model who once fell on the runway and — admittedly, ouch! — broke her ankle. Said runway-strutter (does the name really matter?) was given a chance at redemption at this year’s show, dressed as a bird of paradise. “If I fall off course, then I’m gonna use my wings to fly,” the model noted, but guess what?!!? She didn’t need to. Because she successfully WALKED DOWN THE RUNWAY without falling on her well-toned kiester. And she did it while Fall Out Boy was performing — which, it seemed, was an unnecessary touch of ironic cruelty.
Adriana Lima’s Workout Segment
Can’t look great without a little sweat, right? Adriana Lima proved that she EARNED that body with a sequence that featured the model in the boxing ring. Somewhere, “Gonna Fly Now” is playing in the distance.
Taylor Swift‘s Ceremony-Closing Performance
Some (notably, Victoria’s Secret model Jessica Hart) took issue with country songbird Taylor Swift‘s show-ending performance. But you know what? She sparkled! Or at least her dress did. Even if, truth be told, she did seem a touch out of place amid the catwalk-strutters. And she didn’t fall down even once.