Good morning! Did you see this?
Or how about this
I was excited to see our story, "’Idol’s’ Problem Isn’t Ellen Anymore, It’s Ryan," on MSN!
Well, we’re getting down to the nitty gritty here on “Idol,” and while there were two eliminations last night, they didn’t exactly have me “All Shook Up.” I mean, can we really expect any more shockers at this point?
Unless the voting public sends Crystal Bowersox back to her hippie commune before the finals, we’ll continue to trudge through the next few weeks with no surprises. Thank goodness that we eliminated two singers last night — dragging this season out any longer would be cruel to both the viewing public and the contestants.
Though I think that the double elimination was meant to be dramatic, it was the most anticlimactic part of the show. (Get to Glambert please!) That is not to say that the “Kidz Bop Does Elvis” group number wasn’t uninspired. Elvis is equal parts sex and cheese, but the cheddar on this number was heavier than Paula’s pillbox. And why did all the guys seem to be channeling Michael Buble?
Seacrest got the first elimination out of the way a mere 14 minutes into the episode when he first asked Andrew Garcia for his thoughts on the double elimination — he found it “stressful,” duh — and then, without missing a beat, unceremoniously told him that it was the “end of the road.”
This was not a huge surprise, as Garcia has been boring us all season trying to chase after his “Straight Up” moment. Someone may need to comfort Lee DeWyze, though, as he looked very forlorn. I guess they’re gonna have to wait until the tour to conceive those “Danny Gokey babies” that Crystal mentioned last week. As Garcia sang one of the more forgettable songs in his repertoire, “You Give Me Something” by James Morrison, his tearful wife looked on. It has not yet been confirmed whether she was crying over the elimination or her strange shaved mohawk hairdo.
“Nashville Star’s” Justin Gaston reprised his role as “the good looking one who can’t really sing that well” when he performed “If I Can Dream” with Season 7 alum Brooke White. Missed out on “Nashville Star?” You may better remember him as the guy who dated a 15-year-old Miley Cyrus when he was 20. Understandable, of course, because Miley’s maturity transcends state laws.
Sounds like his singing hasn’t improved but, boy, does Brooke White sound great! Call me a child of the ’90s but I had no idea that this was an Elvis song. (Wait, don’t they play something like this during the fireworks show at Disneyland?) It sounded like a mash-up of “Over yhe Rainbow” and “What a Wonderful World,” with a dash of generic Christmas carol thrown in. In a super-crazy coincidence, “If I Can Dream” is also the name of the web reality series that Gaston (and Alex Lambert!) star in. And get this — it’s produced by “Idol” creator Simon Fuller.
Weird, I know.
Glambert appeared just in time to wake me up with his performance of “Whataya Want from Me.” It began with some sort of smoky tropical storm comprised of drama — Adam in the eye, natch — and evolved into the most theatrical game of laser tag ever. I was pleasantly surprised by his humility and assertion that he “owes this show everything.” Glambert is growing on me. (Don’t tell Kris Allen.)
It was then time to send another Idol back into obscurity. Ryan whittled them down until we were left with Big Mike, the recipient of last week’s save, and little Katie Stevens, who has also been in the Bottom 3 before. Oh, and get this — one of them wasn’t even in the Bottom 3 this time! Sneaky, Seacrest.
This week garnered the highest number of votes this season. Did Big Mike’s fans rally to save him?
A Lynche elimination would be a really hard pill to swallow, as it would be the equivalent of America saying, “No, seriously. We got it right the first time. We really don’t want you here.” Big Mike says that he loves the judges and the people — what a great politician! Katie says that she wants to show that she’s learning from this experience — what a great candidate for Junior Miss!
In the end, Katie’s dreams were thrashed. But there are bigger dreams to pursue … like going to the prom. And, hey, I’ll bet she’s a shoe-in to sing “Breakaway” at graduation! As she soldiered through “Let It Be,” I thought she was going to lose it a few times but she did an admirable job. Keeping it together during the goodbye package featuring Alzheimer’s Grandma? Not so much.
In a pretty dull show, Katie’s pathos ran a close second to Glambert’s performance for the most dramatic moment of the night. Even Ryan was on his best behavior for once. Where was the prying and the violation of personal boundaries? I don’t even know who you are anymore, SeaPest!
Next week Alicia Keys will mentor the Idols on “inspirational” songs — whatever that means — for “Idol Gives Back.” The playlist includes everything from “Dream Weaver” to “Holding Out for a Hero” so I’m counting on some ridiculous song choices.
Please watch and give what you can; Lee DeWyze is counting on you, America, to fund his personality transplant!