‘All My Children’ New Season Teaser Offers Lots of Fighting and Crying, Duh (Video)

Don't worry; Pine Valley is still a hotbed of weeping and conflict

There's something happening in Pine Valley … and it looks a lot like what's always been happening in Pine Valley.

A teaser for Prospect Park's resurrection of long-running soap opera "All My Children" has hit the internet, and if you guessed that it would be heavy on the waterworks, yelling and fisticuffs, come on up and accept your prize — two minutes and 30 seconds of the weepiest, shooting-est, voice raising-est melodrama available in video form.

Also read: "All My Children," "One Life to Live" Online Premiere Dates Announced

"They don't let secrets stay secret very long in this town," the narration for the teaser intones. "A lie is going to haunt you down the road."

The description for the upcoming season promises "love" and "revenge." Hopefully at the same time.

"After a gunshot was fired five years ago, how has life in Pine Valley changed? Who will find love? Who will seek revenge?" the description reads. "The characters you have come to love, the characters you will meet for the first time…"

All-new daily episodes of "All My Children" and "One Life to Live" kick off April 29 via The Online Network, and will be available on Hulu and iTunes. Until then, dig into the drama below.