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‘Celeb Apprentice’ Men Crumble — Maybe It’s the Weird Hair

It cracks me up that all the celebs are being so polite, when we know there are a few hotheads in the bunch

Sunday night was week 2 of "Celebrity Apprentice."  It cracks me up that all the “celebs” are being so polite, when we know there are a few hotheads in the bunch.  It’s entertaining to watch them not be real. I’m waiting for a big blow-up, and pretty sure it’s coming soon.

The show starts off with Bret Michaels giving a check for $100K to the American Diabetes Association. I am not sure what is more disturbing, his hair, or the fact that I find him oddly attractive. He was charming with the kids he presented the check to, and I’m glad he won.

This week they are creating a storefront experience with Kodak, so people of New York can have Kodak moments of their own. Project Managers are Sinbad and Maria Kennelis, the WWE chick. I think she is made of out of plastic and may actually be animatronic.

We start off with the men, and Sinbad is all over the place. I don’t understand anything he is saying, and neither does his team. They cut away to an interview with Rod Blagojevich. This guy, and his hair, are truly fascinating. I think the boys in prison are going to find him very attractive.

The Kodak people are meeting with the chicks, but I am distracted by the Kodak ladies hair. Why don’t any of her friends tell her that cut is wrong? Cyndi Lauper needs her own show. A reality show, where we just follow her around, and watch her life. She is amazing, and I love her.
The girls are annoyed with Cyndi. Sinbad is annoyed with Bret. The men are annoyed with Sinbad, but not one person gets pissed off, or says anything harsh. 

Really?  You are playing to win, and for charity, people. We will respect you more if you are real, than if pretend to be a “celebrity." Everyone is just a little too aware of their image.

What makes their fake niceness even more annoying, is when we see Rod on the phone, talking about his pending case, and the people who crossed him, and he is cursing, and getting upset. It is fabulous. Why can’t they be like that with each other, not just when they think the camera is not filming them?

The two best moments are: (1) A random woman on the street mistakes Rod for Donny Osmond. Really? I wish I could get drunk and roam the streets of New York. And (2) Maria is eating a popsicle, in a provocative way, while talking to Donald Jr. and he struggles to pay attention. Reality television perfection.

Bret Michaels has a little nervous breakdown, and it’s awesome. I love him, and his hair made out of straw. He feels left out, and believes they are shooting him in a way that makes him look like the bad guy. Poor celebrity ego is pushed to the limit.

Sharon Osbourne is getting sick, and a write-off for this task. All the chicks are throwing Cyndi under the bus, but not to her face, only to the camera. Cowards. On the men’s side, they are all done with Sinbad, but again, only complaining to each other, not to him. Grow up, everyone.

Sinbad screws up with the printer and nobody gets mad. Bret storms off, and everyone thinks he’s a quitter. The men’s team is crumbling, but everyone is passive.  Sharon is passing out food, and coughing all over it. It’s a train wreck and I can’t get enough.

Both storefronts were crowded, and chaotic. Nice to get your picture taken with a celebrity, but who waits in line for an hour for a picture that then takes another hour to print? I would like to point out again, for no particular reason, Holly Robinson Peete cannot be trusted.

The women win the task and Make a Wish gets $20K from Maria. One of the men is going down, and it’s weird because they are acting like a bunch of school girls in the boardroom. Where is the throw down? They are all being nice, and passive aggressive. The lack of balls is annoying.

The Governor is such a politician, I was surprised he didn’t pull a baby out from under the boardroom table and start kissing it. Goldberg starts talking, and they cut to the ladies who are wondering about his “shortcomings." Maria looks as if she could confirm, but says nothing.

The Governor, Bret Michaels and Sinbad are in the boardroom and one of them is going to be fired. Trump asks Brett who should go, and he says Sinbad. He explains that the first day was very “discombooberated."  Everyone looks at each other, but nobody corrects him. Perfection.

Sinbad is fired. It took 20 minutes instead of the necessary five. He looks like he might actually cry when he is canned. It was sad, and I think he may have been a little discombooberated. This show rocks, and it’s only just begun. Next week promises a twist, and I’m all in.

Ilana Angel is a freelance writer living in Los Angeles. She is author of the "Keeping the Faith" singles blog for the Los Angeles Jewish Journal. You can follow her at www.Twitter.com/ilanaangel.