Charlie Sheen said in a confusing, jittery call to "The Dan Patrick Show" that his bosses at "Two and a Half Men" -- not his rehab -- are responsible for the show's continued hiatus.
He also said he's able to handle crack "socially," adding, "but that kinda blew up in my face…like an exploding crack pipe."
Sheen's surprise call to the radio and DirectTV show -- in which he said he is "100 percent" sober -- suggested his erratic behavior hasn't ended with his Jan. 28 announcement that he was entering rehab.
A rep for "The Dan Patrick Show" said the show reached out to Sheen, who has appeared on it before.
"Two and a Half Men" went on hiatus with Sheen's rehab announcement. But Sheen, possibly joking, spoke as if it were a mystery to him why the show wasn't shooting again. He said he went back to work, but lost his voice banging on its stage door and yelling.
"I don't know what happened," he said. "I guess they're closed."
Sheen's rep, Stan Rosenfield, suggested at least some of the actor's remarks were in jest. When The Wrap noted in an email that the remark about the stage door, at least, sounded like a joke, he replied, "Smart observation." But he declined to elaborate on what was serious and what wasn't.
CBS and Warner Bros. TV, which produces "Two and a Half Men," had no comment. But their silence spoke volumes. The network and producers have repeatedly tried to rein in TV's highest-paid actor, even shutting down the show to give him time in rehab.
A person at the studio last week told TheWrap last week that the show wants Sheen back as soon as possible, but that his health is paramount.
When Patrick reminded Sheen that the show is on hiatus -- he was too tactful to mention the reason why -- the actor offered his take on the shutdown.
"No," Sheen said. "We're on forced hiatus. They said you get ready we'll get ready and I got ready and went back and nobody's there. I don't know what to tell you Dan. Nobody's there."
He added: "I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it."
He also said the show is scheduled to return in "August of 2014, at this pace. I don't know. It's supposed to be like the 28th or the 29th." He laughed. "That's what it is. The 29th of a non-leap year."
He urged his bosses to get him while he was feeling healthy: "I think just maybe it was a timing thing. I didn’t think it was going to happen this fast. Check it, it’s like I heal really quickly. But I unravel pretty quickly. So get me right now, guys.”
Sheen also explained his impromptu talk last week with the UCLA baseball team -- caught on video by TMZ -- in which he told them to choose chocolate milk over crack. He said he visited the team because he donated $10,000 to the program several years ago.
“I realized what props I was holding. I had a bottle of chocolate milk and I had rumors that I’ve had problems with, I don’t know, crack, and it just came out of me like poetry, Dan. Like poetry… Well, people kind of know I’ve had some problems lately and I’m sort of notorious for sort of surfacing and going deep undercover, deep underground. So, I said stay away from the crack, which I think is a pretty good advice unless, you can manage it socially, Dan. If you can manage it socially, then go for it, but not a lot of people can.”
Asked if he could manage it socially, he said: “Well, yeah, but that kinda blew up in my face…like an exploding crack pipe, Dan. Sorry”
And he said, finally, that he feels creatively hungry for the first time in a long time.
"You do something like this [show] and you get into kind of a, I don’t want to say a redundant pattern, but it gets very sort of, uh, redundant. And you gotta find things about it to reignite the passion. The passion can always be there if the pilot light is still burning.”
Patrick asked if wished he could be a great baseball player instead of an actor.
“Oh gosh, wow," Sheen said. "Great baseball player but here’s the problem, I’m 45 now and all the girls say I look 35 but I’d have been retired by now.”