Comics — the cure for the boring Twitter feed.
Hollywood’s biggest names have become full-fledged Twitter addicts. But most of the time the rock legends and movie stars waste their micro-blogs trying to make us care about melting ice caps or Malaria or the latest outbreak of intestinal tape worms, leaving us gasping to be entertained.
Not so comedians. On an hourly basis the likes of Sarah Silverman, Demetri Martin and Conan O’Brien are showing self-important stars how it’s done, mixing in riffs on Donald Trump’s hair and the Royal Wedding with the forgivable pitch for their stand up acts or television shows.
From old guard icons like Garry Shandling to breakthrough stars such as Morgan Murphy, TheWrap cuts through the Twitter-verse to find the funny men and women you need to follow.
Why you should follow: Nobody does potty-mouthed iconoclasm with a candy-coated arsenic chaser better than Silverman
Recent sample tweet: I just found out that embedding feces deep into the roots of a shag rug is on my dog’s Bucket List.
Be prepared for: That sing song delivery gets lost.
Why you should follow: “King of Queens” star’s feed is a hub for all the great big tweeting funnymen and women.
Recent sample tweet: I disagree with Werner Herzog declaring a “Holy War” on yoga, but would love to watch him wage it.
Be prepared for: Gums up the works with movie and TV suggestions. Not exactly ready for his own edition of “Collected Critical Works.”
Why you should follow: No dead air, just hilarious, circular word play.
Recent sample tweet: To have the enthusiasm of a game show contestant and the dignity to never be one.
Be prepared for: The drawings and sketches that provide such an integral part of Martin’s standup act, don’t work as well as Twitpics.
Why you should follow: World’s greatest fan of low culture on technology’s best way to consume the stuff — need we say more?
Recent sample tweet: Yes, I know I am in “AC” the same night as Charlie Sheen. When Warlocks & Witches collide! When is the Gary Busey tour???
Be prepared for: Sometimes reads like a TicketMaster feed for her standup gigs.
Why you should follow: Nasal voiced stand-up is sure to offend, which is why we love him.
Recent sample tweet: I was busy today. Recited “Aladdin” to a school class and had CollegeHumor record me telling dick jokes. Or, was it the other way around?
Be prepared for: Got a natural disaster? Gilbert’s got a wildly inappropriate joke for you. #JapaneseTsunami
YOUNG AND IRREVERENT
Why you should follow: “Parks and Recreation” scene stealer is a comedian for the digital age, alternating stories from the set with taco truck recommendations.
Recent sample tweet: BOW! BOW! BOW! BOW! BOW! WACKA! WACKA! WACKA! FLOCKA! FLOCKA! WACKA! WACKA! FLOCKA! FLAAAAAAAME! #JustTranscribingWackaLyricsforNoReason
Be prepared for: Too many blow by blows from awesome concerts he’s attending.
Why you should follow: It’s like spending multiple nanoseconds with his pop culture dropping “Superbad” prankster.
Recent sample tweet: It’s so awkward running into my ex-girlfriend. It’s come to the point where I find myself avoiding sitting in my car outside of her house. #JustTranscribingWackaLyricsforNoReason
Be prepared for: Reactions to the Lakers games.
Why you should follow: “Community” star doesn’t spare the rod when it comes to topics as diverse as the French economy, Joe Jackson and girls who use hashtags in texts.
Recent sample tweet: It’s weird that when I’m in a nicer hotel I immediately think “just like in Pretty Woman!”
Be prepared for: Lack of quality control. Just because you can tweet it, doesn’t mean you should.
Why you should follow: “Family Guy” creator murders sacred cows multiple times a day
Recent sample tweet: Now that we’ve seen his birth certificate, I want to see proof that President Obama is black.
Be prepared for: Like the show, he gleefully pushes the envelope.
Why you should follow: He starred in “The Larry Sanders Show.” Show some respect.
Recent sample tweet: Easter is the day I paint my balls. And hide them in the grass.
Be prepared for: Shows promise, but he just joined so there’s not much of a backlog.
Why you should follow: Thirty years after “When Harry Met Sally,” he’s still the master of shaggy observational humor.
Recent sample tweet: Filed my taxes today, can’t believe there’s still a deficit.
Be prepared for: Like his pal @GarryShandling, he’s a newbie.
Why you should follow: Remarkably accessible for such a big name.
Recent sample tweet: Working in my garden this afternoon, burying body parts from inexplicably macabre backyard brunch.
Be prepared for: So casual in his delivery, it’s hard to know he’s joking.
Why you should follow: Egghead comic’s withering observations translate remarkably well to 140 characters.
Recent sample tweet: Kim Kardashian’s comment on reading The Diary of Anne Frank……”BORING.”
Be prepared for: Admits he joined to promote his book and he’s got the tweets to prove it.
Why you should follow: It’s a lot more interesting than following the real studio’s feed. Plus we want to live in a world where Dane Cook can remake “Serpico.”
Recent sample tweet: Vice Chairman Rob Moore just told me that Tyler Perry’s Madea films are like The Crying Game but without all the humor.
Be prepared for: A libel suit?
Why you should follow: Like reading bite-sized editions of Bill Simmons’ ESPN column.
Recent sample tweet: I have the “Mickey watching Clubber in the first 5 mins of Rocky III” face again.
Be prepared for: The handle doesn’t lie, you better care about sports.
LATE NIGHT CLUB
Why you should follow: Unlike old school hosts David Letterman and Jay Leno, Fallon is part of the digital generation.
Recent sample tweet: A shelter put a dog named Twitter up for adoption. While their dog, MySpace, was “taken to a farm to run & play forever.” #FallonMono
Be prepared for: Fallon’s best bits aren’t jokes, they’re his goofy songs. Twitter doesn’t do that.
Why you should follow: More consistently hilarious than his TBS show without the lame promos for “Lopez Tonight.”
Recent sample tweet: Great, Applebee’s starts serving toddlers alcohol and my kids gave up booze for Lent.
Be prepared for: Wanting more. One to two tweets a day don’t cut it.
Why you should follow: Like his Comedy Central show, brings the zany to current events and media bloviators.
Recent sample tweet: If anyone in President Donald Trump’s cabinet isn’t pulling their weight, he won’t hesitate to say, “You are the weakest link, goodbye!”
Be prepared for: Leaves one missing his starched shirt timing.
Why you should follow: Standup and frequent “Chelsea Lately” guest’s zingers are pithy and spot on.
Recent sample tweet: Phish is the gateway band to Dave Mathews.
Be prepared for: Always looks on the dark side of life.
Why you should follow: With every tweet, stand-up star punctures holes in Christopher Hitchens’ ridiculous assertion that women can’t be funny.
Recent sample tweet: If anyone should support abortion, it’s God. I mean look at all the kids he’s had that he can’t take care of.
Be prepared for: Birthday wishes to friends and followers.
Why you should follow: Roasting Charlie Sheen as part of his career meltdown/live show.
Recent sample tweet: Puff puff cough happy four-twenny.
Be prepared for: Lots of links to reviews. Self-promote much?
Why you should follow: You haven’t heard of “The Life and Times of Tim” star, but his oddball rifes make him a must retweet.
Recent sample tweet: Is Good Friday in honor of that one time when Chris Tucker convinced Jesus to smoke weed all day?
Be prepared for: Creative abbreviations. He shouldn’t be a grammarian.
Why you should follow: “Chappelle’s Show” co-creator may not be a household name, but he’s funnier on Twitter than most of the big dogs.
Recent sample tweet: Stephen Hawking became a quadriplegic after a horrible pussy eating accident.
Be prepared for: Lots of ethnic jokes.
Why you should follow: Funny, frequent Tweeter, the “Daily Show” contributor’s absurdist talking head is a natural born micro-blogger.
Recent sample tweet: I just saw a guy get his nutz banged in a movie! I’VE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE! Please do that joke ALL THE TIME Hollywood! Ha ha ha.
Be prepared for: Could improve the quality by cutting down on the sheer number of tweets.
Why you should follow: From Sheen to Trump, nobody escapes the stand up star’s high-pitched gibes
Recent sample tweet: That Royal Wedding proves the British are right. Americans are more superficial.
Be prepared for: Applaud the fan interaction, but it does break up the flow of jokes.