Here’s Why Mr. T Will Probably Be Pitied on ‘Dancing With the Stars’ (Video)

The man who made pitying fools a thing has demonstrated a lack of fancy footwork in the past

This is Mr. T. He will be on Season 24 of “Dancing With the Stars.” He will be 65 this year. He once traded slaps with “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. He absorbed about 30 blows from Rocky Balboa. He wears more gold chains than a person can hold. He used to be known as B.A. Baracus, “the baddest cat around.” He is a known pitier of fools.

Also, there ample evidence that Mr. T cannot dance.

For instance, here are four looped minutes of him popping and locking.

And here he is dancing for an entire troupe of young girls who were born presumably a century after he was famous.

“This is the highest I can kick,” he says.

Mr. T’s dance moves are better summed up by his ability to point and flex and flash his gold chains while someone auto-tunes him saying the word “fool.”

So no, Mr. T cannot dance. But that’s fine, it’s all fine. Certainly he’s as good a fit for the ABC competition show as our possibly future Secretary of Energy.

But pity the fool who has to dance with him. Odds are he barely outlasts Nick from “The Bachelor.”