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Hey, America…Don’t Forget to Laugh At Everything

When the economy is good …comedians do well, when the economy is bad, we do better. Why? Laughter soothes the soul and takes away the stress. It offers a view of life from a different perspective — a glimpse at life from a different angle; same picture — different angle. Just take a look around. […]

When the economy is good …comedians do well, when the economy is bad, we do better.

Why?

Laughter soothes the soul and takes away the stress. It offers a view of life from a different perspective — a glimpse at life from a different angle; same picture — different angle.

Just take a look around. It’s no secret the people in America are worried, angry and just plain scared. Parents in Ethiopia are telling their children, “Eat all the food on your plate, there are people in America starving to death.”  

For comics, the world today is ripe with material. It’s just waiting to be scooped up and fed back to audiences. We recognize that the age of the sugarcoating is over. And I feel the job of the stand–up comic is to hold up the mirror, to provide a reflection that reveals the real truths.

So with that in mind…

The Octomom might have a few problems…Hmm, lets see — six kids, another eight on the way, no husband, no visible means of support and all living in one room. I look up at the tote board and it reads CRAZY!


What ever happened to crazy as a viable explanation? It always worked in my old neighborhood…

"Hey Bobby…that girl — she’s gorgeous, she likes you. What’s the problem?"
"Did you see her eyes? She’s crazy! Nuts! Cancel the subscription – too many issues!"

And why is it now everything is a disorder?

"My kid has…ADD – ADVD – LAPD- NBA – NCAA."

Enough with the disorders. What ever happened to STUPID?

"Mrs. Myers, your kid’s a moron and you might want to consider the pottery wheel or napkin folding or a smack in the head."

Growing up, we didn't offer excuses; we had “Hey you (smack) — pay attention!”  

The time has come back around, say it like it is.

"My daughter has a Glandular Condition."

No, we call it fat. Your daughter has a Fatular Condition – put the fork down!

Well, there are different causes of obesity today — her father danced nude in front of the crib — she conceals her feelings — blah blah blah.

No.  Food causes obesity — Put the Fork Down!

Right now, the biggie is swine flu. Nonstop, every newscaster is telling us, “The swine flu is going around — everyone should wear masks!”

I grew up swimming in the Hudson River – bodies would float by – bring it on! 

Sports used to be a good diversion for people when they needed to escape, to get some stress relief. Used to be. Today the world of professional sports is just another comedy minefield for the digging. There’s no loyalty among players. The rosters are filled with guys earning more than the annual budget for a small country, using any kind of enhancement drugs. 

And, of course, no comic can over look past one of the best sources for comedy — our government.

Government is going into the banking business — I come from New York, the government can’t hand out cheese right! There are still guys on street corners in the Bronx, calling out, “Hey pal, want to buy some Velveeta?”

And just try to get a customer service person on the phone now!

People, wear a helmet, pay your taxes and stay low. We’re not in the club, and the club just stole our money and now are bailing themselves out with that same money!

We’ve all heard the adage — you can’t take life so seriously.  Look, if there were no comics, no one to hold up that mirror…we’d be all down in our basements, cleaning out our muskets trying to figure out how we can overthrow the government!

Life’s short and none of us are going to get out alive — so we might as well do it right with honesty, integrity, manners, patience, giving, helping, sharing, and most of all laughter.

Now is the time…hey America, get off the cross — we need the wood!

Comedian Bobby Collins has starred in his own Showtime specials and has hosted VH1's "Stand-Up Spotlight." He has also opened for Cher, Dolly Parton, Julio Iglesias and Tony Bennett. Collins was nominated for a CableACE Award as well as for the American Comedy Awards “Stand-up Comic of the Year.” His first CD, “On The Inside,” showcased his wide-ranging observational material and his second CD, “Out of Bounds,” earned him a Grammy nomination. He performs live in New York, Las Vegas and Atlantic City.