We've Got Hollywood Covered
|

It's Carrie Underwood ... um ... 'Country' Week!

Seacrest promised that it was gonna be a good show and, in the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day, suggested that it might get even better after a few pints. As a card-carrying Kelly, I can attest that this was indeed the case. I can also tell you that Paula’s brow lift seems to have settled […]

Seacrest promised that it was gonna be a good show and, in the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day, suggested that it might get even better after a few pints.

As a card-carrying Kelly, I can attest that this was indeed the case.

I can also tell you that Paula’s brow lift seems to have settled from last week. Lookin’ good, Abdul! Yes, I miss Jorge, but he’s undoubtedly already got some sort of Puerto Rican recording contract courtesy of fans Marc Anthony and J. Lo.

As for the remaining 11, it was Country Week, with Randy Travis providing the back-stage advice! (And is getting weirder looking with every passing year?!)

Michael Sarver: He must’ve been in heaven when it was announced! Even if he gets voted off, at least he got the chance to kiss the country audience’s ass, singing a song about teenage fornication (a favorite pastime in Texas) and saying things like, “Country music is about having some fun.” Yawn. Someone call the “glam squad” stat!

Allison Iraheta: She’s solid, but it would’ve been even better if she’d turned away from the rock vibe for just one week. At least she didn’t do the Ashlee Simpson “SNL” hoe-down dance that she toyed with in rehearsal.

Kris Allen: Nailed “To Make You Feel My Love.” A perfect example of how important song selection is. Take a good looking guy and give him a romantic ballad. Works every time for the tween set. Incidentally, it also worked quite well on the twentysomething set, too. Lose the wife, secure more votes, Kris!

Lil Rounds: Followed in Carrie Underwood’s footsteps by singing “Independence Day,” a song that the Season 4 winner performed at least three times when she was on the show. While I’m not a fan, I don’t understand the judges’ points when they complained that the song “wasn’t her.” No kidding. She doesn’t exactly strike me as a country artist, either, but isn’t the point to sing genres that you normally wouldn’t? (Oh, and note to Simon ... it's not "Li'l" Rounds, it's "Lil" Rounds, which is not at all the same as "Little.")

Adam Lambert: I still love to hate him, but I actually -- dare I say it -- liked his hookah lounge version of “Ring of Fire.” Did it sound like something that goth kids would enjoy slitting their wrists to? Yes. Was I worried at one point that Glambert might actually hump the mic stand? Absolutely. While it would kill me to call it “good,” I’ll simply agree with Randy Travis, who stated, “I don’t even know what to say about this boy.”

Scott MacIntyre: It’s not cause you’re blind, I swear -- but your singing kinda makes me wish I were deaf (especially those misplaced awful high notes you try to squeeze in week after week)! Of course, “Inspirational Scott” had to sing a song about angels, even if said titular angels were “wild.”  Can’t wait for the “very special Idol” when MacIntyre gets his sight back (or learns to sing) -- or maybe he’s saving that for the Top 10 Tour!

Alexis Grace: Looked like a young Dolly Parton with her poofy hair and beaded dress as she sang Parton’s “Jolene,” a song that finalist Brooke White did last year. Grace promised that she would bring back the “dirty” if she made the cut.

Danny Gokey: His story is as “inspirational” as MacIntyre’s, and he not only chose a Carrie Underwood song but the Carrie Underwood song with “Jesus” in the title -- double whammy! Obviously the song has a lot of meaning for future “Idol” winner -- oops, I mean “church music director” -- Gokey. By the way, have you caught the recent stories detailing how they’re not talking about his dead wife anymore.

Anoop Desai: Back in the game, dawg! I was worried that we would have to live out our married life together running a 7-Eleven, but we may instead be living a life funded by “American Idol” winnings. His rendition of “You Were Always on My Mind” made me believe that I actually was. Anoop should stick to the lovey-dovey ballads rather than doing karaoke impersonations of Michael Jackson and Bobby Brown.

Megan Joy: The gal formerly known as Megan Corkrey massacred yet another song this week but, as usual, the judges didn’t seem to mind. She really worked the sympathy votes by coughing repeatedly while receiving her feedback. While there were no bird calls this time, is this really the caliber of talent that America wants in its Top 10? No, but it is the type of act that Vote for the Worst, and I would like to keep around for sheer mockery potential.

Matt Giraud: Did a total reinterpretation of Carrie Underwood’s “So Small” and really made it his own. Mark my words, he is the dark horse in this competition. There is no comparison between his and MacIntyre’s piano playing. And the only reasons he hasn’t gotten the hype that Gokey and Lambert have is because A) he doesn’t have a dead wife and B) he is not a freak. All he’s got is a job as a dueling piano player. I feel like the competition just official began tonight. Let the dueling begin!

Oh, and did I mention: lots more faux fighting between Paula and Simon. More yawn.