Oliver was surprised that the arrest came at the hands of the U.S. government. “That’s like finding out that Ke$ha arrested a group of bankers involved in commodities fraud,” he said.
Oliver then took aim at former FIFA vice president Jack Warner, who was arrested as part of the investigation. Warner subsequently posted a video statement online Sunday morning in which he suggested that the arrests were politically motivated. His proof? An article from the satirical newspaper The Onion. That video has since been removed.
Sepp Blatter got the brunt of Oliver’s attack, however, with the host blasting the FIFA president for allowing the women’s World Cup this year to be played completely on artificial turf. One of the players had posted a picture on social media of burns on her legs that she says she sustained as a result.
“The last time an athlete’s legs were beaten up that badly in advance of a major competition, it was because Tonya Harding was unwilling to settle for silver,” Oliver said.
Blatter was re-elected to a fifth term as FIFA’s president last week, which Oliver claimed was due to FIFA’s voting process. Every nation that is a FIFA member gets one vote for president. According to Oliver, it is in the financial interest of smaller nations like Montserrat to maintain the status quo, as they get an equal cut of all World Cup profits.
Oliver concluded by calling on FIFA sponsors like McDonald’s and Budweiser to pull their support from the organization. “Because to truly kill a snake, you have to cut off its head. Or in this case, it’s a–hole,” he said. Oliver went so far as to say he would be willing to drink a Bud Light Lime if it means Blatter’s removal.
“Despite the fact that all the lime in the world cannot disguise the fact that [Bud Light] tastes like a puddle beneath a Long John Silver’s Dumpster,” Oliver said.