(Spoiler alert: You may not want to read this until after watching the second season of the Netflix comedy “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.” Or are a big dolphin fan.)
Tina Fey seems to have it out for dolphins. In the ninth episode of “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” season 2, Fey spouts some disturbing information about the aquatic mammals.
It begins when Fey’s therapist character Dr. Andrea tells the ever-optimistic Kimmy (Ellie Kemper) that her sleep cycle is erratic.
“You know who else doesn’t sleep a lot?” Kimmy says. “Dolphins. And they’re always smiling.”
“Dolphins are rapists,” Dr. Andrea replies. “Look it up.”
And so we did — and it turns out that the truth is just a bit more complicated than the TV shrink (and co-creator of the Netflix series) let on.
Dolphins can be aggressive in their courtship and mating, according to Justin Gregg, dolphin researcher and author of “Are Dolphins Really Smart?” They can herd their mates, mount each other (or even human swimmers) and display what researchers call “socio-sexual behavior” that does not involve an actual attempt to mate.
But it is primates, birds and insects — not dolphins — that engage in what scientists call forced copulation, Gregg wrote. “If forced copulation should be considered the non-human animal equivalent to rape insofar as it appears (to the human observer) as if the female has not given consent, then this still has never been observed in dolphins.”
Gregg concluded: “The dolphins are rapistsmeme easily lends itself to being a trendy t-shirt, or link-bait headline, but rape is undoubtedly the wrong term to apply to dolphin behavior. It is a loaded term that really should be used solely to describe the fundamentally horrific, and uniquely human crime of rape as defined by the law. There is no dolphin equivalent.”
So there’s really no porpoise to be served slandering the poor dolphin.
Kimmy Schmidt and 11 Other Relentlessly Sunny TV Characters (Photos)
Kimmy Schmidt, "The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt"
Ellie Kemper's Kimmy has a remarkable sense of optimism, especially for a young woman who spent the better part of her life kidnapped and trapped underground in a crazy guy's bunker.
Netflix
Sue Heck, "The Middle"
Played by Eden Sher, "The Middle's" socially awkward Sue Heck often fails at the things she sets out to accomplish, but she still manages to maintain a cheerful sense of determination -- and a smile -- throughout it all.
ABC
Chris Traeger, "Parks and Recreation"
Even among a cast of fiercely sunny characters, Rob Lowe's Chris Traeger is the obvious standout. Throughout his four-season run on the NBC sitcom, his relentless positivity was both a frequent source of inspiration and of great annoyance to his co-workers.
NBC
Kenneth Parcell, "30 Rock"
No one has ever loved being a glorified intern as much as "30 Rock's" NBC page Kenneth, played by Jack McBrayer.
NBC
Linda Belcher, "Bob's Burgers"
Just about every character from Fox's most underrated comedy — with the possible exception of Bob himself — could be described as "sunny," but none more so than Linda, whose catchphrase is actually "all right."
Fox
Shirley Bennett, "Community"
Though the show frequently hinted at a darker side to Shirley, Yvette Nicole Brown's character will be remembered as the happy, polite, good Christian mother of the Greendale study group.
NBC
Phil Dunphy, "Modern Family"
Ty Burrell brings a childlike cheerfulness to his "Modern Family" character that provides a stark contrast to Julie Bowen's high-strung Claire.
ABC
Rose Nylund, "The Golden Girls"
Betty White received seven Emmy nominations and one win for her role as the airhead Rose on the classic NBC comedy "The Golden Girls."
NBC
Phoebe Buffay, "Friends"
Despite Phoebe's past hardships — her father abandoned her and her mother committed suicide when she was 13 — Lisa Kudrow's "Friends" character still managed to be the least cynical of the group.
NBC
SpongeBob SquarePants, "SpongeBob SquarePants"
The star of Nickelodeon's longest-running series, SpongeBob has been flipping burgers for a living since 1999, and has somehow never shown an ounce of dissatisfaction.
Introduced in the third season of "The Andy Griffith Show," Jim Nabors' slow-witted Gomer Pyle was frequently flabbergasted by the simplest of revelations.
CBS
Andy Bernard, "The Office"
Following the resolution of his anger management issues, Ed Helms' character on "The Office" became the goofy and borderline-annoyingly-sunny counterpart to Steve Carell's Michael Scott.
NBC
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From Gomer Pyle to Chris Traeger, the most cheerful and optimistic characters in television history